[Ad Intra]

I told her a while back and we tried a few things to get me to stop. I've been cutting less and less, but it still happens. She doesn't check to see if I'm still cutting and I can tell it makes her uncomfortable.

[bolair811]

Is this a fairly new therapist you're seeing? I think the biggest thing that I would worry about based on what you wrote is that you can tell it makes her uncomfortable. Are there other topics that you feel like you can't really bring up on your own (without her asking)?

Do you think you could just bring up in a session sometime that you are afraid it makes her uncomfortable but that it's bothering you that you are still cutting sometimes?

Hugs for you... I know how hard it is to bring up uncomfortable topics with your T. But it makes it doubly hard when your T is obviously uncomfortable.

[doyoutrustme]

i think she should be asking.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Mine doesn't ask anymore. I guess she thinks I'll talk about it.

They've heard much worse, trust me.

Are you projecting your discomfort into T? Is common to try and get the m(other) to carry the emotions we can't.
I have a different issue with SH. I realised by now I'm trying to drag T into in. Suck her through the prism of SH. Pass it on to her. Enlist her.
She remains, empathetic, but doesnt step into the arena I create.
When there is no possible 'partner in crime' left. The SH became solely mine. That's where the beginnig of the end resides

[RedSun]

Ad Intra, I guess that if you're T is uncomfortable, that's her issue. She needs to work on that. You don't need to look after her.
My T doesn't ask. I find it really hard to bring up, though it's getting easier. I sometimes email before session and ask her to bring it up, that's better for me.

[doyoutrustme]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Mine doesn't ask anymore. I guess she thinks I'll talk about it.

They've heard much worse, trust me.

just because they've heard much worse doesn't mean they don't have to check in.

Who's to say the client will be honest, If the therapist ask, especially if the client doesn't have enough trust in the therapist to be helpful or even to tell them about their pain? I think it is most important to build trust so that the client is comfortable to say whatever she needs or wants to say within the relationship. My opinion only.

[atisketatasket]

It seems to me that asking shows care and concern, as well as doing due diligence. I see the argument for client autonomy/therapist not asking, but there is also autonomy in the client choosing not to admit the SH to the therapist.

Some posters have clearly reached some informal agreement with their therapist regarding discussing SH, but the OP indicated no such agreement with hers.

[luvnola]

If I wanted help with it, I'd bring it up just like I do other topics, even if she seems uncomfortable. I think the only ts I've ever had bring it up themselves were inpatient ts I've had. I suppose my other ts think if I'm ready to work on something I'll bring it up myself.

Roll up your sleeves/pant legs/etc and show her if you're uncomfortable using verbalness.

[stopdog]

Why would you want to tell the therapist?

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by doyoutrustme

just because they've heard much worse doesn't mean they don't have to check in.

Yea. No one asks me anymore so I just don't talk about it.

I meant it's ok to talk about it if you want to