[WanderingBark]

I've been seeing my therapist for seven months. I would say the first three months I saw him once a week then he offered extra sessions. I happily jumped at the opportunity and for the last four months I've been seeing him twice a week. Two weeks ago, I asked him how one knows that they need to increase or decrease sessions. He explained that there are no hard and fast rules about this, but generally if one is stable and not experiencing life-changing events (marriage, death, etc) that reducing sessions might be appropriate and the opposite would be true for the flip of that scenario. He suggested that I not decrease my sessions, but add an extra session, which is what I wanted. I was hesitant because even at twice weekly meetings, the 5 days between sessions were absolutely gut wrenchingly horrible. I've never consciously had an addiction, but I imagine this is what it would feel like. I needed my therapy fix with him and if I didn't get it I would be anxious/obsessive to the point of physical sickness. I told him that I was afraid this would only foster my dependence, but that I wanted a third session. After talking about it, he said we could meet three times a week for one month and see how I feel then re-evaluate. I took him up on the offer. This is my second week of meeting with him three times. Last week, I thought it was overkill--now I'm anxious that today is my last meeting for the week and I'm not looking forward to the rest of the week without him. I almost want to ask for a fourth session...

I guess my questions are: How often do you meet with your T? Do you want more or less sessions? Do I sound crazy? Have you ever reached a point in therapy where you've questioned your T's methods/approach?

Sorry for the rant...

[Pennster]

I meet with my therapist once a week. I don't think you sound crazy! But you sound in pain.

Do you think it might help to have other things you can do to take care of yourself in between sessions? I have found restorative yoga gives me great relief from all sorts of stressful feelings. Could you look up and see if there is a gentle or restorative yoga class near you? (Both of these are usually suitable for beginners, if you've never done yoga before, and neither require you to be in any sort of yoga shape.)

You could also try meditating - there are lots of compassion-focused meditations that I have found helpful. I like this page, for example
Christopher Germer, PhD, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion; clinical psychologist specializing in the application of Buddhist psychology and meditation to alleviate difficult emotions in psychotherapy and everyday life.

I try to start every morning with a walk in a park as well. When I'm doing all these things I feel like I am at least making a bit of progress, even if it still can feel like a long time between sessions.

Does your therapist suggest ways you can help yourself? That has been a really helpful aspect of working with my current therapist for me. Maybe it would be helpful if you and your therapist could make up a little daily plan of things you could do to help yourself.

Sounds like rather than more sessions (which doesn't seem to be decreasing your anxiety between sessions), your therapist may need to help you find healthy ways to manage between sessions.

My sessions were approximately every week to 10 days (depending on my schedule). The only times I had more than one in a week was when I was in particularly bad shape and needed additional support and help in monitoring my depressive symptoms. That might happen a few times a year during the time I was most unstable.

Several people here have two sessions a week which seems to be helpful to them. Much depends on if additional sessions are actually helpful or not. In your case, they seem to be increasing the problem rather than relieving it.

[Merecat]

I saw mine weekly initially and now see her roughly fornightly, sometimes less. I did occasionally request additional sessions but these were on an as and when I felt I needed additional support rather than an increase to two sessions a week regularly. Some people do find twice a week helpful, my sessions tend to be 90 mins, which I find more helpful than the usual 60 mins. It's a very individual thing but it does sound like its getting harder for you between sessions which would leave me wondering whether increasing is proving helpful to you. Different things work for different people and sometimes you just don't know til you've tried.

Can you talk to your T about developing coping strategies for between sessions?

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by WanderingBark

I've been seeing my therapist for seven months. I would say the first three months I saw him once a week then he offered extra sessions. I happily jumped at the opportunity and for the last four months I've been seeing him twice a week. Two weeks ago, I asked him how one knows that they need to increase or decrease sessions. He explained that there are no hard and fast rules about this, but generally if one is stable and not experiencing life-changing events (marriage, death, etc) that reducing sessions might be appropriate and the opposite would be true for the flip of that scenario. He suggested that I not decrease my sessions, but add an extra session, which is what I wanted. I was hesitant because even at twice weekly meetings, the 5 days between sessions were absolutely gut wrenchingly horrible. I've never consciously had an addiction, but I imagine this is what it would feel like. I needed my therapy fix with him and if I didn't get it I would be anxious/obsessive to the point of physical sickness. I told him that I was afraid this would only foster my dependence, but that I wanted a third session. After talking about it, he said we could meet three times a week for one month and see how I feel then re-evaluate. I took him up on the offer. This is my second week of meeting with him three times. Last week, I thought it was overkill--now I'm anxious that today is my last meeting for the week and I'm not looking forward to the rest of the week without him. I almost want to ask for a fourth session...

I guess my questions are: How often do you meet with your T? Do you want more or less sessions? Do I sound crazy? Have you ever reached a point in therapy where you've questioned your T's methods/approach?

Sorry for the rant...

Can you space out your appointments? It seems concerning that you would have had three already this week, and it only being Wednesday. I would be questioning why your therapist is adding days, but not regulating the spacing of the appointments.

[ruh roh]

Oh, and I go once a week. My life is constant stress and a challenge of emotional survival. Every now and then, I will have an extra session. I have had maybe 4 extra sessions in a year. It's expensive.

[Perna]

I met mine once a week but for a 100 minute session. I preferred that to twice a week for 50 minutes at a time. It is hard in-between but I think the action needs to be during the sessions and how well one uses the sessions, not concentrating on how one feels between sessions. When I felt anxious and didn't like the between stuff, that is what I worked on by myself between so I could discuss it with my T in the sessions with her.

[spring2014]

Originally Posted by WanderingBark

I've been seeing my therapist for seven months. I would say the first three months I saw him once a week then he offered extra sessions. I happily jumped at the opportunity and for the last four months I've been seeing him twice a week. Two weeks ago, I asked him how one knows that they need to increase or decrease sessions. He explained that there are no hard and fast rules about this, but generally if one is stable and not experiencing life-changing events (marriage, death, etc) that reducing sessions might be appropriate and the opposite would be true for the flip of that scenario. He suggested that I not decrease my sessions, but add an extra session, which is what I wanted. I was hesitant because even at twice weekly meetings, the 5 days between sessions were absolutely gut wrenchingly horrible. I've never consciously had an addiction, but I imagine this is what it would feel like. I needed my therapy fix with him and if I didn't get it I would be anxious/obsessive to the point of physical sickness. I told him that I was afraid this would only foster my dependence, but that I wanted a third session. After talking about it, he said we could meet three times a week for one month and see how I feel then re-evaluate. I took him up on the offer. This is my second week of meeting with him three times. Last week, I thought it was overkill--now I'm anxious that today is my last meeting for the week and I'm not looking forward to the rest of the week without him. I almost want to ask for a fourth session...

I guess my questions are: How often do you meet with your T? Do you want more or less sessions? Do I sound crazy? Have you ever reached a point in therapy where you've questioned your T's methods/approach?

Sorry for the rant...

hi wandering,
I see my therapist every four weeks (a month) cuz my anxiety level is not that high . so im a monthly basis now .

Diagnosis : Anxiety and depression
meds: Cymbalta 60 mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia with an additional 25 mgs=75 mgs when up past 1:00 in the morning

[junkDNA]

i see my T twice a week. but i also see him on thursday nights sometimes to play games. its not therapy though. i also see him for 1.5 hours on saturdays for a women's trauma group he runs. i am also allowed to text him and email him. twice a week works for me plus the out of session contact. he knows i get separation anxiety. he says my separation anxiety will lessen. i hope so

[bolair811]

I see my T once a week, but recently I've been working on some REALLY hard stuff and I've seen him twice a week a couple of times and will possibly see him twice this week depending on if he has a cancellation on Friday. I don't think you're crazy AT ALL! Sometimes we need more than 1 session a week and as long as you and your T both think it's beneficial for you, I say go for it. You can always revisit the decision at any time and still work on self-care strategies to try in between sessions. Hugs for you! I know how agonizingly long a week can be when you're hurting.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Out There]

Usually once a week but in difficult times twice a week. You do sound in pain and perhaps do need to work on coping strategies. I use mindfulness a lot , exercise and binaural beat programs.

I've been with my T 12yrs. The first year was once a week. I want stable enough to do the deep work more sessions per week would incur.
You ask did anyone begin to doubt their T's methods? No, as time went on and I begun to feel the therapy working, I actually grew to understand it on a whole new level.

[AllHeart]

Does your t give you skills to practice during the week to help you cope? If so, are you able to actually do the practice(s)? If not, that's perfectly ok! If so, do they help you any? If practices do not help, are there other methods you could try?

I don't know if you struggle with being able to help yourself in between sessions, but, if you do, know that it certainly can happen and that it's perfectly normal and ok. There was a period of time where I could not do anything in between sessions to help myself. I couldn't as much as force myself to turn on the radio to listen to music (music is therapeutic for me) or hit the play button in itunes. Talking a walk, meditating, grounding, anything Mindful -- all impossible for me once. My brain wanted to do something to help myself but my body physically would not comply. So I almost solely depended on my t to help me during this time of struggle.

My t knew I needed to be dependent upon her and so encouraged it. She gave me extra sessions and amped up the in between session contact. At first I felt pathetic for needing to be so dependent on her. After that I became angry with her for allowing me to become so dependent upon her. And then finally, I came to accept that this dependency on t is just something I need at this stage and it won't last forever. My t gracefully fostered me through my dependency and is gracefully fostering me out of it now. And hey, I can listen to music and do some other Mindfulness now. Still a work in progress but I must say it all seems to be working out very well.

With that I say, if you need extra support from your t right now then accept it. Everyone's needs are different so I don't think 3 sessions (or even more) are ridiculous. There shouldn't be any shame in being dependent on someone temporarily if it is going to help us and if it is something we need. I wish you well!

[Ellahmae]

I see my T 3 times a week, sometimes 4.

[atisketatasket]

Once a week now with No. 3, but in the crisis-laden fall, I sometimes had two a week, one with No. 1 and one with No. 2...but only sometimes, because they both missed weeks due to travel or holidays.

Why exactly does your therapist think you need more sessions? Are you in crisis? It seems like the idea for extra sessions has come from him both times - why does he think you need them? Because right now it just sounds like they're making you dependent. And why not a MWF schedule instead of what seems to be MTW?

Eta: the two I saw in the fall kept checking in with me to make sure I wasn't feeling overwhelmed by therapy when I was having two sessions a week. I kind of think your therapist should be doing something like that.

I really like the title of this thread - when does it become ridiculous - I think I've kind of asked myself that question too. I've had two T's. I saw the first one for about 9 months, after a bit I saw her twice a week, and I felt that I developed a bit of an obsession - I used that word rather than addiction. The more I saw her, the worse I felt, I felt really anxious about the relationship. She herself thought I needed to see her at least twice a week. I posted quite a lot about it on here at the time. It was hard to stop seeing her, but seeing her was honestly ridiculous. I've been seeing my new T for about 9 months. I feel really different. I don't usually feel anxious between appointments. I'm working through a lot of stuff with her, but I feel settled between appointments, kind of relaxed about the relationship. I go once a week. I think that for some people it maybe beneficial to go several times a week, but the need to go that often could also be a sign that the therapy is not good, that somehow the therapist is not fostering a secure relationship with you.

I averaged three times a week, but there was one month I went every day. My sessions were always 2-3 hours. It sped the process up for me doing attachment therapy. Two plus years after termination I barely think of her, and have figured out that the young child part (toddler stage), of me was the part that needed all the contact for fear of abandonment. Those fears were vanquished, and I believe it was because contact was not rigidly controlled.

[Ellahmae]

Originally Posted by Walkedthatroad

I averaged three times a week, but there was one month I went every day. My sessions were always 2-3 hours. It sped the process up for me doing attachment therapy. Two plus years after termination I barely think of her, and have figured out that the young child part (toddler stage), of me was the part that needed all the contact for fear of abandonment. Those fears were vanquished, and I believe it was because contact was not rigidly controlled.

This is how my T operates as well.

[LonesomeTonight]

I see my T once a week and marriage counselor once a week generally...but we had a rough marriage counseling session today, and MC is out of town next week, so he offered to have us come in again on Saturday, even though he doesn't usually keep Saturday hours (he was already coming in for another client).

I can also e-mail/text whenever--or call in a more urgent situation. I'll often send T at least one long e-mail a week, often recapping MC session or else some insight I had after a session with her. Had a rough weekend this weekend (my own doing), and ended up talking to both T and MC on the phone (at different times) for like a half hour each. I don't usually talk to them on the phone much unless I'm in a really bad place. They don't charge for phone calls (or texts/e-mails), which is nice. Though I imagine if I started calling them daily, might be a bit different!

[Cinnamon_Stick]

It varies at times how often I see my T. Usually I see her once every two to three weeks. For the last couple of months though I have seen her once a week or once every 10 days. She is doing Sundays for the near future so I am able to see her more often right now. I have had emergency sessions when I am in crisis.

I can email and call her. I use emails to let her know how I am doing and to just vent about stuff and get it off my chest. I also send her a session recap (how the session went) the night of my sessions. I call her when I am really struggling. For me its more comforting to hear her voice than to read words in an email.

I think you should talk to your T about ways to cope between your sessions if they are twice a week. It sounds like adding another session might make you feel like you need therapy more. Its really up to you to decide what is best for you.

[WanderingBark]

Originally Posted by Pennster

I meet with my therapist once a week. I don't think you sound crazy! But you sound in pain.

Do you think it might help to have other things you can do to take care of yourself in between sessions? I have found restorative yoga gives me great relief from all sorts of stressful feelings. Could you look up and see if there is a gentle or restorative yoga class near you? (Both of these are usually suitable for beginners, if you've never done yoga before, and neither require you to be in any sort of yoga shape.)

You could also try meditating - there are lots of compassion-focused meditations that I have found helpful. I like this page, for example
Christopher Germer, PhD, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion; clinical psychologist specializing in the application of Buddhist psychology and meditation to alleviate difficult emotions in psychotherapy and everyday life.

I try to start every morning with a walk in a park as well. When I'm doing all these things I feel like I am at least making a bit of progress, even if it still can feel like a long time between sessions.

Does your therapist suggest ways you can help yourself? That has been a really helpful aspect of working with my current therapist for me. Maybe it would be helpful if you and your therapist could make up a little daily plan of things you could do to help yourself.

Thank you so much for the suggestions. I actually just signed up for yoga classes starting this weekend so hopefully that will help! I should also get back into meditating--I had a good habit of meditating in the mornings and evenings but then I fell out of it.

I wish my T would give me suggestions for in between session. I've tried asking him, but he always says that I'm too busy for homework...

[WanderingBark]

Originally Posted by Merecat

I saw mine weekly initially and now see her roughly fornightly, sometimes less. I did occasionally request additional sessions but these were on an as and when I felt I needed additional support rather than an increase to two sessions a week regularly. Some people do find twice a week helpful, my sessions tend to be 90 mins, which I find more helpful than the usual 60 mins. It's a very individual thing but it does sound like its getting harder for you between sessions which would leave me wondering whether increasing is proving helpful to you. Different things work for different people and sometimes you just don't know til you've tried.

Can you talk to your T about developing coping strategies for between sessions?

Hm, I hadn't considered asking about 90min sessions vs. 60min. I think I would rather that than additional sessions on different days.

I have asked about coping strategies and his response is that I wouldn't like the homework associated with it... I dunno.

[WanderingBark]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Can you space out your appointments? It seems concerning that you would have had three already this week, and it only being Wednesday. I would be questioning why your therapist is adding days, but not regulating the spacing of the appointments.

We tried to space them out but our schedules don't line up well at the moment. I'm a student so my schedule changes every 10 - 15 weeks. Hopping for a better schedule next semester

[WanderingBark]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

Does your t give you skills to practice during the week to help you cope? If so, are you able to actually do the practice(s)? If not, that's perfectly ok! If so, do they help you any? If practices do not help, are there other methods you could try?

I don't know if you struggle with being able to help yourself in between sessions, but, if you do, know that it certainly can happen and that it's perfectly normal and ok. There was a period of time where I could not do anything in between sessions to help myself. I couldn't as much as force myself to turn on the radio to listen to music (music is therapeutic for me) or hit the play button in itunes. Talking a walk, meditating, grounding, anything Mindful -- all impossible for me once. My brain wanted to do something to help myself but my body physically would not comply. So I almost solely depended on my t to help me during this time of struggle.

My t knew I needed to be dependent upon her and so encouraged it. She gave me extra sessions and amped up the in between session contact. At first I felt pathetic for needing to be so dependent on her. After that I became angry with her for allowing me to become so dependent upon her. And then finally, I came to accept that this dependency on t is just something I need at this stage and it won't last forever. My t gracefully fostered me through my dependency and is gracefully fostering me out of it now. And hey, I can listen to music and do some other Mindfulness now. Still a work in progress but I must say it all seems to be working out very well.

With that I say, if you need extra support from your t right now then accept it. Everyone's needs are different so I don't think 3 sessions (or even more) are ridiculous. There shouldn't be any shame in being dependent on someone temporarily if it is going to help us and if it is something we need. I wish you well!

Thank you so much for the encouraging words! My T hasn't given me coping mechanisms. I think I will bring it up again. I've tried bringing it up before and he says that I won't like the homework/I won't have time. I guess I should trust that he will foster me out of the dependency like your T. It's really helpful to hear this perspective, thank you!

[WanderingBark]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Once a week now with No. 3, but in the crisis-laden fall, I sometimes had two a week, one with No. 1 and one with No. 2...but only sometimes, because they both missed weeks due to travel or holidays.

Why exactly does your therapist think you need more sessions? Are you in crisis? It seems like the idea for extra sessions has come from him both times - why does he think you need them? Because right now it just sounds like they're making you dependent. And why not a MWF schedule instead of what seems to be MTW?

Eta: the two I saw in the fall kept checking in with me to make sure I wasn't feeling overwhelmed by therapy when I was having two sessions a week. I kind of think your therapist should be doing something like that.

I'm getting married in the summer which is giving me some anxiety and I'm also working through other stuff so I guess I'm kind of in crisis...? Maybe?

I would love a MWF schedule, but our schedules didn't line up well this semester. I'm hopping over the summer we can switch to a MWF thing.