I'm going inpatient this evening for a week for intensive trauma therapy. However I'm extremely apprehensive and scared. I don't want to go. It's scary. Even more scary than usual because we're going to do a different trauma therapy (imaginal exposure instead of EMDR, which I'm more familiar with). I don't want to go.

[Ellahmae]

(((breadfish))) I'll be thinking of you.

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[stopdog]

Do you have to? I mean, is there some external reason you have to do this? Could you not do it instead?

I'm not being forced to go, so I could in theory not go.. but that's its own kind of scary. I tried to call my T for the fifth time but she's not responding. I have to leave in 40 minutes, hoping to speak to her beforehand.

[growlycat]

Hope you are ok Breadfish!

i am sorry you are dealing with this.

Thinking of you, Breadfish!

Thanks. I went, still apprehensive and scared but at least I'm here. I did eventually reach my T last night and we chatted for a while - wasn't very useful, but at least I could talk to someone. First therapy session is in 1 hr 20 minutes.

[growlycat]

Hope it goes well- keep us posted!

[RedSun]

Good luck Breadfish! Will be thinking of you xx

[Ellahmae]

Hope you're doing OK. Thinking of you still.

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thinking of you, breadfish.

Thanks, all, Your support means a lot to me.

I arrived home yesterday evening. The therapy (Imaginal Exposure with medication, this time) didn't help one bit. It was really hard. I'm disappointed.
As for further treatment, I'll be doing EMDR again, but with one session a week instead of sporadic inpatient weeks with intensive treatment. The therapist thought this might be a better idea because the inpatient week before last did help some, until I worsened again. I've done weekly EMDR before and it didn't help, but T thinks it might this time. To be honest, she doesn't really know what to do anymore and thinks I might just have to learn to live with it.

This sucks.

Originally Posted by Breadfish

Thanks, all, Your support means a lot to me.

I arrived home yesterday evening. The therapy (Imaginal Exposure with medication, this time) didn't help one bit. It was really hard. I'm disappointed.
As for further treatment, I'll be doing EMDR again, but with one session a week instead of sporadic inpatient weeks with intensive treatment. The therapist thought this might be a better idea because the inpatient week before last did help some, until I worsened again. I've done weekly EMDR before and it didn't help, but T thinks it might this time. To be honest, she doesn't really know what to do anymore and thinks I might just have to learn to live with it.

This sucks.

You don't have to say what if you don't want to but are you sure their diagnosis is right/acurate? I am just saying if you have tried all this different stuff and nothing is working maybe they should reassess but I could be 100% wrong so ignore me if I am. Sorry everything is sucky.

[growlycat]

Maybe its time to look for a new treatment team? I know how exhausting that process can be. So sorry you are going through this.

Eden, thanks for trying to help. Yeah, I'm sure the PTSD diagnosis is accurate. I've been through a major trauma (I've been a subject of medical torture) as well as a 'lesser' trauma (one-time sexual assault). I meet all criteria. And the PTSD is serious and real - it's not that I have a few sporadic symptoms and a bit of trauma in my history that made a therapist say "Well, as I like diagnosing stuff, we'll just add PTSD, shall we?" (I'm not saying that's what you meant, just trying to be thorough in my explanation)

Growlycat, thanks for your reply. I'll be getting a different EMDR therapist, at least. I'm perfectly happy (well, more than happy, to be honest) with my pdoc - he's great. My regular therapist is OK, but I don't talk about the trauma and PTSD with her. Now you're giving me an idea.. mayhap something should change there.

[Bill3]

(((((Breadfish)))))

It might well be good to speak about the trauma and PTSD with her, or at least speak with her about the possibility of speaking about trauma.

that sounds good maybe if you find someone you are more comfortable with around that stuff then that may help.