Did my T lie to me?

Earlier today I gave my T a letter. Then tonight I texted her and asked if she hadn't read it yet to actually not read it. She said she didn't read it yet, but she did see one part of it. Now I'm wondering if maybe she really did read it? I'm not sure how she could have seen that one part without reading it. It was on the top of the second (and last) page. Maybe she skimmed the letter to make sure it wasn't a suicide note or something, and happened to see it then? Or maybe she really did read it and said she hadn't since I asked her not to read it if she hadn't yet. I don't know. I feel bad for doubting her word, but I'm also not sure how she could have seen just one part. And since she recently sent me to the hospital, my trust is a little sensitive. So do you guys think she really did read it? If so, why did she lie? If not, am I terrible for thinking maybe she did?

I don't think you're terrible for thinking it but I'm not sure what difference it would make. I think therapists lie all the time, but I don't get worked up about it unless it's about something important. I gess the question is is this an important thing or just an everyday run-of-the-mill sort

Thank you. I don't think it's a super important thing, but it's more than an everyday thing, and it does matter to me. Also, I think it's just about the potential lying and trust. So I just feel like I have to know.

I am not sure there is a way to find out for sure if a therapist is lying about such a thing. But good luck finding out for sure.

What possible reason what she have to lie? That's game playing.
Mature adults are able to speak their truth. Eggs, sorry. I've read it already. There's no big deal in that

((Cats))

I can understand why you have trust issues, but I really don't think your T is lying in this instance.

This is a hard one. I'm guessing that she probably did exactly what you said, she skimmed it to check and see if it was a suicide note. Since she's already a bit on edge about self-harm issues and your level of depression, I'd guess that as soon as she got the letter, she opened it with a bit of trepidation and concern in the pit of her stomach. Then when she got your message not to read the letter, she was stuck with, "Uh oh, I know that ilikecats is already questioning my trust and she's feeling betrayed because I sent the cops to pick her up. How do I handle this?" So maybe she hedged a bit.<<--how's that for mindreading

Truthfully, you probably will never know what went through her head or if she skimmed it or read it through--unless you bite the bullet and talk to her about what you're thinking and how you think she might have lied to you. It's okay to go in and say exactly what you said here. It's okay to tell her that you're struggling with trusting her and that you feel edgy and unsure about where the two of you stand on the issue of being honest with each other. This is the hardest part of therapy but it can be the most rewarding part. Believe me, I struggle with this part too, but when I go in and say what's going on in my head and checking with her what was going on in my therapist's head, it truly is the best stuff. It's how relationships that are solid, open and flow in both directions. I'm guessing that she's feeling a bit unsettled about how the connection between the two of you is going after the hospitalization incident. Go have a straight forward talk about what's going through your head. Believe me that's the only way you two are going to get through this very understandable period feeling of disconnection. Good luck!

i gave my T a note to read on the morning of my lawsuit mediation which was in a few days. i noticed a day or 2 later after i gave it to him that the bag with the note in it had air in it, which i had made sure it was flat. i asked him if he read it and he said no. then i told him what i saw with the bag, and he admitted he had read it to make sure it wasnt a suicide note. im not sure why he lied at first when he could have just told the truth. i wasnt mad but it was a little confusing. im thinking maybe your t did skim it to make sure it wasnt a suicide note and something caught her eye and she read a little? im not sure though...

Thanks everyone for your responses!

Jaybird, you're right. Maybe I should talk to her about it... that sounds hard though But perhaps I will.

Yes, good plan to talk about it.
I agree that most likely scenario is that she skimmed it, and dwelt on that one part for whatever reason, so she isn't lying to you.
If you can talk about it, it might help you to look at how difficult it is to trust her, or believe her, and may lead to a really helpful discussion in general. Cos maybe the issue here isn't just the letter, but a bigger issue of trust?