I went back to old t, I missed her and stupidly thought we could make things right.
T asked me how I was, I began to tell her what was happening at college with my t training and how upset I am about it all. T responded by saying I was just whining like a little girl, she began to mock me in a whiny voice, I got really upset and wouldn't speak for the rest of the twenty minutes of our session. T said she told me because she cared. I was so mad I couldn't even look at her. Now I feel like sending her a stinking text message telling her to go to hell.
I am mad at me because I say there again and let her mock me, I promised myself never to allow that again.


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Isn't that exactly what Perls did in his session with Gloria?
It sounds like a very damaging form of Gestalt therapy your first T is practising. Incredibly outdated and irresponsible to say the least.
I know it's hard (especially with a T you have a history with) but try not to blame yourself for this. You did what you felt you needed, and she clearly has no idea about what you needed from her. I think this experience might be a valuable (albeit painful) reminder that she can't be of use to you going forward. I hope you can draw on the support of this board and better therapy in order to grieve that loss.

[JaneTennison1]

You are a better person, you gave her a chance and she is childish and immature. I wouldn't bother texting, history has shown she is not willing to hear you or to consider how you feel so why would now be different?

[Pennster]

Mona, I'm sorry that happened to you. She sounds abusive and incompetent. That was not your fault.

Don't be to hard on yourself. Just remember the old saying: You can't go home again. It's never the way we want to remember it. Now you know and you won't be tempted to try that again. I wouldn't bother with any further contact. Just write that one off as a loss and continue on your journey.

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

Isn't that exactly what Perls did in his session with Gloria?

It sounds like a very damaging form of Gestalt therapy your first T is practising. Incredibly outdated and irresponsible to say the least.

I know it's hard (especially with a T you have a history with) but try not to blame yourself for this. You did what you felt you needed, and she clearly has no idea about what you needed from her. I think this experience might be a valuable (albeit painful) reminder that she can't be of use to you going forward. I hope you can draw on the support of this board and better therapy in order to grieve that loss.

Thank you for your message Echoes, that is what Fritz did to Gloria, he mocked and mimicked her, to try and provoke and get a reaction.
I think sometimes my t wants a reaction but most of the time she gets me to shut down so much that I can't even speak. It's excruciatingly painful.
Sometimes she is so good that it makes up for these painful times. She said is trying to helps but I don't see how that is helping me or anyone, there are ways and means of helping someone that don't involve shaming or mocking.

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

You are a better person, you gave her a chance and she is childish and immature. I wouldn't bother texting, history has shown she is not willing to hear you or to consider how you feel so why would now be different?

That is so true but I always have hope with this t that things can be different. I think tonight I learned that this is a cruel way to get a message across. It also was very childish.

Originally Posted by Pennster

Mona, I'm sorry that happened to you. She sounds abusive and incompetent. That was not your fault.

Thank you Pennster, right now it's feels as though it was my fault but logically I know it wasn't.


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[Chummy]

If she already act like that in your first session since ... then think about how the following sessions could go if you keep seeing her. I don't think you can make things right if she act like that. A T shouldn't mock you. You deserve better than that.

I have often thought about good by back for a session with my ex-T, I understand the pull. For me I still think well surely we could come to a mutual understanding and work out our relationship, but on the other hand I know that I tried and tried and tried with her, and we couldn't. But I miss her. I don't know if this is similar to your situation? I have never gone back, I know in my heart of hearts that my therapy with her was damaging in the long run.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I began to tell her what was happening at college with my t training and how upset I am about it all. T responded by saying I was just whining like a little girl, she began to mock me in a whiny voice, I got really upset and wouldn't speak for the rest of the twenty minutes of our session. T said she told me because she cared.

In therapy this is considered some sort of "technique" or "modality" apparently. In real life this would be called abuse.

Is there some way you can report her? I would not feel ok unless I had spoken to her directly again to say how i felt, or somehow reported it. Could also review her on Yelp.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by BudFox

In therapy this is considered some sort of "technique" or "modality" apparently. In real life this would be called abuse.

.

How can ANYONE think this is a valid technique!? Ugh.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by BudFox

In therapy this is considered some sort of "technique" or "modality" apparently. In real life this would be called abuse.

Is there some way you can report her? I would not feel ok unless I had spoken to her directly again to say how i felt, or somehow reported it. Could also review her on Yelp.

This is not a widely accepted technique anymore. If it is, you go into it knowing that. The Gloria videos were created to illustrate different modalities an don't really hold up well today. This T was just being an *****.

Mona, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I hope you do let her know she affected you one way or another. BudFox's suggestion of Yelp is a good one, I think.

[divine1966]

How unacceptable. Mocking????

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[Gavinandnikki]

Why did you go back when you knew what would happen? You knew it would not be good. Although you hoped it would. Did she become a different person? Nope.

I am so so so sorry that happene what a horrible thing for her to do. I am so sorry

[missbella]

I understand that confrontation was an outgrowth of 1960s culture, labeling insults as "getting real" or something. I guess Perls putting the cigarette out in Gloria's hand was getting real--or rude.

Originally Posted by velcro003

How can ANYONE think this is a valid technique!? Ugh.