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Originally Posted by skysblue
Rainbow - that book saved me. I read it during the beginning period of therapy (this first 1 1/2 years) when I was appalled at what I considered my dependency on my T. I hated the feeling, was embarrassed about it, and didn't understand it.
After reading that book and really studying it, I came to understand that my 'dependency' was a useful aspect of my therapy. How I came to see it was that my life was shifting so violently, like an earthquake. And just like during an earthquake we deem it sensible to hold on to something for safety, so also holding on to one's T during emotional turmoil is something to be commended, not dismissed.
Once I gained that understanding, I didn't fight it anymore and accepted my need for my T. When the earth stopped shaking, I didn't need to hold on anymore.
I've read that book more than once and I think it could be helpful for anyone who worries that they're too 'dependent' on their T.
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Thanks, skysblue.
I skimmed it but will go back and read it all. It's really meant for T's, and has me wondering if T knows all that's in it. Wallin sounds like a great T! My T also focuses on our relationship a lot, and my body language. I think I had the preoccupied attachment to my Mom, but waver between hysterics and borderline, as Wallin defines them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennster
Rainbow, I'm confused about why you think being in an incubator for only a couple of weeks doesn't count? That's a long time! I have suffered all my life from being traumatized at the hands of doctors as a three-year old, and that was only for a few days. Id say the impact on a a newborn for a couple of weeks could have been profound.
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Pennster: Because velcro was born at 24 weeks, and some else was also in an incubator longer, I tend to compare and say my experience was minimal. I wish I knew if babies weren't held then. I want proof! Maybe I just want to blame myself? My Mom was anxious but loved me. Those are the only facts I know 100%.