[mira belle]

I have a male T.
Recently an event occured in my life...which effected me greatly.
however i dont want to discuss this with my T. because it will show my flaws, my weakness, rejection by others etc.

after a lot of thinking...i have realized that i want T to have a very positive image of me...him being a male...i want him to accept me(even though its a false portrayal of myself at times).

i know it beats the purpose of being in therapy...and real work cant began till i am honest..i dont want to show how broken i am ...a little broken is ok. shattered. no.

i am seriously considering trying out a female t. even though i dont trust females..i have had tons of betrayals from them...mom, sisters , friends etc.
i just get along with guys better.

is it just me? or if you have a T with opposite gender...do u have trouble sharing some things (non sensitive in nature) like if u r a guy and your girlfrend dumped you badly...will u have trouble sharing this with ur female t?
if u r a female...and some guy insulted you in passing...will u have trouble sharing that with ur male t?

I've always had male T's and I'm a female. I pretty much shared everything with them that I felt I needed to work on. Is this event something you feel you need to work on/process with your therapist? If so, why not give it a try? You might be pleasantly surprised at his ability to hear you and completely accept what you have to say.

[Pennster]

That sounds hard, Mira belle!

I have a male therapist. I don't have any trouble sharing anything with him. I sort of view him as slightly neutered in my mind I think- I don't really think of him as "a guy" the way I would if we met while we were out and about on the town. I figure he thinks of me as someone coming to him for help and he's really got the compassionate aspect of things down. When I tell him deeply embarrassing things he responds out of that professionally trained and compassionate side of himself, so it's very non-shaming.

If you get along well with him and you trust him in other ways, do you think you might try sharing a bit with him and see how you feel? You could even start with telling him you are reluctant to share this embarrassing or shameful event.

[Argonautomobile]

I think sometimes I use my T's maleness as an excuse not to share things (Lady Issues) I don't want to talk about. I'm not saying that's the case with you (how would I know?) but I suppose it's something to consider.

If you see in yourself less-than-healthy ways of relating to males (again, not saying this is the case, but a lot of women, subconsciously or not, feel they have to 'perform' for men, show only the 'good' aspects of themselves, prioritize positive or sexualized attention before other aspects of the relationship, and so on) then this may be a really good opportunity to work through some of those issues with your T.

I wasn't super happy in the beginning to be given a male T, but I'm glad I've stuck with it. It worked out well for me, maybe it will for you, too.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by mira belle

I have a male T.
Recently an event occured in my life...which effected me greatly.
however i dont want to discuss this with my T. because it will show my flaws, my weakness, rejection by others etc.

after a lot of thinking...i have realized that i want T to have a very positive image of me...him being a male...i want him to accept me(even though its a false portrayal of myself at times).

i know it beats the purpose of being in therapy...and real work cant began till i am honest..i dont want to show how broken i am ...a little broken is ok. shattered. no.

i am seriously considering trying out a female t. even though i dont trust females..i have had tons of betrayals from them...mom, sisters , friends etc.
i just get along with guys better.

is it just me? or if you have a T with opposite gender...do u have trouble sharing some things (non sensitive in nature) like if u r a guy and your girlfrend dumped you badly...will u have trouble sharing this with ur female t?
if u r a female...and some guy insulted you in passing...will u have trouble sharing that with ur male t?

I agree with everyone who has replied. But I would like to ask a question that is not offered to offend, yet to gently nudge you to think about why you don't want to reveal this issue to a male T. Is it possible that you (consciously or unconsciously) think of this male T as a possible 'love' interest ('love' being used loosely, here). I had a few weeks of seeing my T as someone who might be interested in me if I wasn't so broken. I finally realized that our relationship would be nothing but professional and as embarrassing as some of my issues were, T would have to know everything that made me, me if therapy was going to be successful. I understand your hesitance, whatever your reasons for being reticent.