Forgiving ex-T

unaluna · 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

It's difficult to even understand forgiving myself. I don't know why she terminated with me. So I don't know what I did wrong.

Now my behavior when she terminated me was something I'm not proud of, but I was reacting in pure panic. I couldn't access my logic at the time. I don't beat myself up over that.

I had a church mentor abandon me. I didn't choose to forgive her. I knew I had forgiven her when I could understand her position.

Same with my mom. I forgave my mom when I could understand why she did the things she did.

But I'm not going to have that with ex-T. Maybe...maybe the board of psychology will require my ex-T to tell me why she terminated? Doubt it though.

If only I could understand...

Your bolded statement, to me, looks for a cause and effect that isnt there. Its there for all the other situations you list, but not for this one. I guess thats obvious! Thats why you dont understand, duh.

But maybe whats scary is that it was uncontrollable? If it had been your fault, then you could have stopped it maybe. But out of our control makes us too helpless. We're back in the crib with no recourse.

precaryous · Feb 29, 2016, 03:43 PM

Bunches of years have gone by since PerpPdoc - decades- and I'm still discovering questions I have never explored before...leaving me with new anger, sadness, hopelessness, etc.

Forgiveness for this instance? Not a chance.
I'm open for it to happen if it happens. But I doubt it will.

Mar 01, 2016, 04:04 AM

I think forgiveness isn't mandatory. I'm also someone pretty hurt by the Christian exhortion to forgive.

I love a particular article but can't link it because it has "bull crap" in the title.

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Forgiving ex-T

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