Grounding techniques - Staying present during therapy - Disassociation

I don't really consider it my responsibility to stay grounded. I don't have severe dissociation though. If I get lost my doctor says something to bring me back.

In addition to things already suggested here, I sometimes use taste to keep present. Something sour (Jolly Rancher candies) or peppermint and focusing on the taste can engage me in what is happening in my body at that moment and that keeps me in the room.

I have no idea what Jolly Rancher candy is lol. But I was thinking about taking tic tacs to my session for this exact reason

I am still confused as to whether not being present always means dissociation. In a thread I started on the subject, I didn't use that word, and neither did my T, yet she uses some of the same techniques posted in this thread. She has me look around the room, and then asks if I feel my feet on the floor and my legs touching the couch, and sometimes has me breathe to relax.

When I'm not present, it seems like I'm not "taking in" what's happening between my T and me. I'm not mindful, like when I couldn't remember her hugging me. I know she did, and that I was physically hugging her, but my mind was somewhere else, though I don't know where. Is that what most people mean by dissociation? For me, I have to make a conscious effort to stay present and maintain eye contact with my T.

Another question: If you're looking at your T, but sort of "looking through her or him," do you consider that dissociation too? Is not being mindful different from dissociating?

Staying connected with my therapist is most grounding.

In therapy, though not always, i can often feel the opiates in my brain immediately when i am about to dissociate. I usually tell him, "I feel dizzy". in response, he talks to me in a manner that demonstrates that we are connected. That helps big time.

Good luck. Experiencing this over and over with a competent therapist improves ego strength/ability to tolerate intense emotions.

Tried to look up today, managed it once. Made eye contact once. Disassociated multiple times, but kept playing with a bracelet that helped me come back. I also pinned my hair back so I wasn't hiding behind my hair so my T could actually see me today.

Small steps.

That's great!! Small steps are good. They seem safer to me than big ones!!

I started growing my hair when I started working with my counselor. It didn't really dawn in me that I was hiding behind mine until you mentioned it. I may try and be brave and pull mine back next week.

You are BRAVE!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I didn't pull it back in a pony tail. I used bobby pins to clip my fringe out my face. And thank you. It does make me feel better that I took the steps I wanted to this session. Pin it first, of you have no barrier it could set off your anxiety because I felt a lot of pressure having her see me today.

That's a great idea! It was already starting to make me nervous thinking about it. Thank you for suggesting it! That feels much better already!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I've been putting so much pressure on myself lately to make eye contact and to be seen. I've hidden behind a wall of blonde hair for 5 months, so much so that being seen by my T made me anxious and nauseous. Clipping my fringe back meant she could see me, so it helped her notice me disassociate, but I didn't feel Overly exposed.

I set myself goals for today's session and made sure they were small enough that I could accomplish them without putting so much pressure on myself that I made myself unreachable.

Let me know how it goes Trail Runner

Thank you Anglo! I meet with him on Monday.

I will let you know how it goes.

Hug!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Nothing works, only time has lessened it.

You are right! I've been thinking about your reply since you posted it. It is truth.

If I'm there, and we are talking, and I go away them there is still a part of me there. Right?

So, the part of me there may be the one that needs to hear what is being said. ?

I know that I've made progress and have become stronger, even without remembering all of what was said. ?

If what I walked through then was enough to make a memory that dissociates me now, them maybe that's the part that is there... Talking, hearing, feeling safe in the moment....

It makes total sense to me - I may have a different view.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Walking through it. Gives me courage and makes me stronger.

It comes with time.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My T said You need to be present in this moment, in this room to learn how to stop yourself from slipping back into the past so easily.

I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to talk about the things we need to talk about, but don't realise what else is going on. Even if we can stay for the majority of the session and zone out a couple of times, at least we've heard most of what's been said. By the time I get home from therapy I've forgotten all but a few words, and I think it's because I'm constantly in and out of my mind and only hear bits (which is kinda pointless lol).

There's a list of questions my T gave me,
Right now I feel...
My body feels like....
Because I am... (remembering/ panic etc)
When I open my eyes I can see... (The room, where I am, who I'm with).
And because of the above, I know I'm safe.

I've not tried all of these, because I got given them a few days ago, but I thought it was worth sharing as framework for finding that safe place and remembering it so we don't disassociate as much.

I guess I am lucky. My Therapist has a large room - a fireplace even - full of art from clients and a massive oak desk with the toys and stones on it.

There is only one thing that is uncomfortable. I can see the window through her own of the house next door and I have made eye contact with a person looking back at me. VERY uncomfortable. She said she is getting a set of drapes for that window but it hasn't happened yet.

Okay, someone up above had a very good story about them wearing jewelry so as to distract themselves. I think this is a marvelous idea! What about then taking your own items to play with and handle as distraction during your sessions? I use aromatherapy and use Lavender oils specifically to keep myself calm and in the moment. If you don't wish to get some, vanilla extract works well - just a drop on a wrist. And finally I seem to find myself playing with kleenex. I will fold it back and forth and twist it around.

It was me that plays with a bracelet. I wish my T had an office space that was more personal. And I'd HATE to see someone else looking back at me. Is it possible to move the chair out of view of the windows?

What a fantstic idea!

If you had your back to the windows would it make you feel better? My T asked me if we wanted to move the chairs because I stare out the windows a lot, but I like to be close to the door.

That would really flip me out if I saw someone looking at me too!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk