Dual Relationship Support Needed

Any chance anyone out there is in a positive, strictly platonic, dual relationship with their t? And are you willing to pm me? My t and I have recently become friends. It's all good, but, it would be nice to discuss some things around this with someone who has gone or is going through this. Thanks!

In my state this type of relationship is against the law and our professionals could lose their license.

I think I had something like this. I think it failed and almost killed me. Please be careful.

I had this kind of relationship with my t a number of years ago. It ended by me reporting him to the board and him facing consequences. It feels very good at first and for some time until it doesn't. If you have questions you may PM me. I just want to warn you in advance that if you want my take on your situation you might hear something you may not want to hear. I have to say this because I've been contacted by many people with similar questions and some of them got offended by the fact that I was not seeing things the way they were seeing them so you decide if you want to take the risk..I have to be true to myself and to speak my mind when I talk to people whether they can handle it or not

I've never had a dual relationship with my T, but sometimes I feel like I'd like to. I think it can work out for some people, but it's probably just a little hard at times. I hope it goes well for you!

No, no and no!

Hang on, your current T? Or ex T? I know someone who is friends with their ex T and actually it all seems fine. But they did wait over six months before meeting up, and my friend has a new T, so those things helped.
Current T? In the UK I believe that would be incredibly frowned upon by all the ethics boards, and may well lead to inquiry. I know some dual relationships are unavoidable, eg kids at the same school in a small town, but a T has an implicit and explicit duty to avoid dual relationships with clients.

I think this is another one of those 'it's hard to know without more details' and what the 'dual relationship' is made up of.

Yes, I'm friends with my current t. I know this is highly frowned upon, but it is what it is and I can't turn back. I'm too far in and I do truly like this woman for who she is. For the most part it's been a very good thing. Sometimes it does get a little confusing which is why I though it'd be nice to have someone in the same boat to talk to.

Is there any reason she has to remain your therapist? I would certainly look elsewhere for therapy if I were you.
I think a dual relationship invariably and inevitably damages therapy so this doesn't sound like a good idea to me.
If you have become friends then fine, but ask yourself whose needs are being met if she remains your therapist.

I had a dual relationship with a teacher who gave me private lessons. Though she wasn't a therapist, we had an intense instructional relationship which eventually went sour similar to how members describe here.

In many ways she was an outstanding, knowledgeable, patient teachers. But she frequent was late or otherwise treated me disadvantageously "because we're friends." When she made a very poor decision around my work, instead she focused the conversation on her personal crisis. When she was disappointed in my support for her marital separation--she left who appeared to me as world's sweetest, most devoted husband--she called me on the carpet with everything she hated about me, real and imagined.

I only lost a good teacher. It would have been far more complicated had I been tangled with her in therapy. She had no ethical obligations; I don't see her as a horrible person. This was role confusion that got away from both of us.

I don't think it's ever a good idea to become friends with your t. It changes everything and there is already a power imbalance in the relationship. How many of your friends know the stuff your to does about you?
Any t that is willing to enter into a friendship with a client is definitely meeting their own needs as echos said. Please can you see that we are trying to support you here. Nobody can make this decision for you but I urge you to think about your t a agenda. It's risky behaviour for them.

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I think it might be OK if you have completed therapy, but I can't see this working while you are still in therapy with her. Would you consider finding a new therapist to continue this friendship?

I hear what everyone is saying, and I appreciate the valid concerns. Since t and I established a friendship, the therapy has actually improved quite a bit. For the most part, things are going very well. So I have no plans to leave her. It's been a bizarre albeit rewarding journey, that's for sure.

I once had a therapist who was more like a friend. It didn't seem like we accomplished anything in therapy. I couldn't imagine it working well, so I was a bit surprised to hear this...but am open minded at the same time.

Good that your therapy has improved. I just hope that you don't get hurt.

What does a friendship with your current therapist look like? You have sessions but you also meet up to go shopping or whatever?

Maybe this is like Groucho Marx saying he would not to be in a club that would have him as a member but...

The fact that my T would become my friend and continue accepting money from me for therapy would make me lose respect for her as a T and as a friend. How could I trust that someone with such sketchy boundaries and such a needy ego could also manage the professionalism and skill I need from a therapist? How could I respect someone who mines her client base to combat her own loneliness? I would be disturbed.

I can't imagine being friends with someone and having to pay to see them. I think most of the time these things don't hurt til they end. I hope you have luck in this.

Yes, we meet up sometimes and do fun, non-therapy related things. We attend events together. Our talks as friends is more balanced and equal than it is during therapy. Just regular things friends do.

I get what you are saying, but, it isn't like that with my t. She is still very much my therapist and that always comes first. We are able to discern the difference between friendship and therapy. She is not lonely or needy, nor does becoming friends change the skills she has as a therapist. We simply have a lot in common and get on very well together.

As for the money, I wouldn't dream of expecting someone to not take my money for services they are providing just because they became my friend. To me, that would be taking advantage of someone, and that is not my character. The therapy sessions are 100% separate from the friendship and I gladly pay for the good service I receive. Honestly, I think I'd lose respect for my t if she offered to see me for free week after week. I'd suspect she had a hidden agenda or no self respect. If the roles were reversed, I wouldn't give my friends free sessions every week. If they expected me to do so, that would not be a any kind of friend I'd want to be involved with.

In all honesty, I think T1 and I would have been GREAT friends. Our thoughts are the same, we have a lot of the same interests.... I have often wished I had met her under any other circumstance than therapy. I think it depends on the client/T. Some people here (ok, one that I think of off the top of my head) are friends with their therapist, and it's been going well for the for a long time.

I know had we met under any other circumstance, we could have had a good friendship.... but for myself, I know that wouldn't be a good idea for us. There have been times we've been more friendly than others.

She has recently offered for me to attend the yoga classes she teaches. I am a member of the same studio. I thank her, but have declined. For she and I, I think that's a better idea. But every T/C relationship is different....

I didn't so much mean that I wouldn't expect a friend to take money for her services. I wouldn't expect my friend the mechanic to fix my car for free. I meant that, to my way of thinking, once you're friends it's no longer a therapeutic relationship. Therefore, she'd be accepting money for what isn't actually therapy because the dual relationship is unethical and generally runs counter to the standards of the profession.