What do you consider progress from therapy to be?

I have had nothing I would consider progress on anything come about as a result of therapy. I don't know what therapy could do that would constitute progress about anything.
If you have had what you consider progress - is it concrete or more ethereal?

Concrete. Work your way up Maslow's pyramid of self actualization - im not that far up; i started out waaay behind, insecure physically as well as emotionally and financially. No boundaries. Now i got boundaries up the yin-yang.

And yes boundaries are concrete, not ethereal. Actions are taken, words are said.

Only seven months into my therapy, I don't see much in terms of concrete progress. Since I'm so darned self-reliant, my T is going to have to work pretty hard to convince me that something concrete is going to come out of therapy. (If anyone can do it, however, it will be my T who pulls it off!)

I look at very concrete things. For example, back when I first started therapy, I was very afraid of being out during the night (even 9-10 p.m) and thanks to therapy now I don't mind the time and I feel safe and confident in my ability to manage, though external circumstances in my city have not changed. When I started therapy I never hung out with friends for the sake of it (without having a project to work on or something) and now I hang out with friends and groups regularly. I am in much more contact with my body and emotions, which helps me in both my personal and professional life. There are many more aspects with which I've made progress through therapy, but these are some of the highlights for me.

My evidence of progress looks pretty concrete from where I'm standing, although admittedly I'm unsure as to how we are defining concrete, maybe because I'm not really awake yet.


I see the evidence in how I am better able to manage in times of distress, in how I am rectifying maladaptive behaviors, how my relationships have improved, and how I have improved within those relationships.


But just in case I think I may be imagining my progress, there's always a bestie, my bf or my daughter who every so often comments on the positive changes they're witnessing, and that keeps me motivated to keep at it.

Better boundaries in relationships.
Sorting out what I'm responsible for and what I'm not responsible for.
A safe place to talk about stuff that happened to me.
Less bad dreams.
Less dramas with other people.
Being able to leave my marriage
Not getting caught up in other people's problems
There's more but I can't think right now

Very concrete.

I no longer live in depression and anxiety. I no longer am a danger to myself.
I no longer suffer from extreme anxiety and overwhelming symptoms of PTSD.

I am finally actively engaged in my life in positive and fulfilling ways.
I am happy. I am content. I am confident. I am proactive and advocate positively and assertively for myself.

I am med free. I am hospital free. I am even therapy free finally because it served its very important purpose in my life and I have been able to move beyond its immediate need in my life.

Concrete. I went to therapy to work on very specific goals and strategies on how to achieve those goals. Having someone to work on it with was helpful. Don't know if I would get there myself.

I only check up with my t now once in few months. In fact I'll see her next week and last time I saw her was in January. She actually called two days ago to see how I am. And I made an appointment.

I actively went for about a year ( bi-weekly), then started to come monthly and now it will just gradually ending, it's been about 18 months total . I went with a short term goal in mind. I would be very concerned if I went to therapy for years and no progress. I'd feel I wasted my time, as I don't have MI that need regular monitoring but rather wanted to reach a specific goal.

I don't have the time to just keep going. I know if some issues will arise in life and I won't be able to figure them out i would resume short term therapy again. Personally my goal is to not need therapy.

My fiancée did CBT in order to learn strategies dealing with Tourettes and OCD. OCD and Tourettes will never go away but uses strategies every single day and it is all under control. There is no need for him to keep going. His therapy was successful as well although different from mine

I understand the situation when people stay in therapy for life or for many years. It depends what they are in therapy for. I am not saying it's wrong.

. I actually like my t as s person and I wouldn't mind talking to her just chit-chat. But then it wouldn't be therapy and it's not free. I wouldn't mind being friends with her after t. But it is probably not going to happen.

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I would imagine it would depend on your issues and what your goals are in therapy! I personally wanted to work on being comfortable in my own skin , I can see progress but I have been working very hard myself on that and can give my therapist credit for pointing me in the right direction but I did most of the work myself!

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I think for me it would be not wanting the therapeutic relationship anymore because I would have got everything from it that I want and need and would have everything I want and need moving forward in my other relationships. I would have worked through all of my past and would see hope for the future.

So far it's pretty ethereal for me but that's good enough to keep me working on things inside and outside of therapy. It will become concrete in time.

Although my heart rate used to run about 105-110 and now for the past month it's averaged in the low 90's. Concrete enough?

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No. 1 kept on insisting I had made progress, by which she seemed to mean I talked to people and opened up more (I did not agree). As life events mean that I am now too depressed to talk to people in the flesh unless I have to, that's gone.

Eta: never thought of the possible physical benefits, like lowered pulse. Huh.

Some of it is that I don't know why I would attribute therapy as helping with some things people list even if I thought I noticed such things. The other is that while the woman has said she hopes I will "honor the work we have done in making sense of some things from my past" (I don't even know what that means - and seriously - the woman talks like that - is it any wonder I get frustrated when I let her talk?) - I did not go to see her to "make sense of some things from my past" nor do I think that has occurred in any way. I do find it useful to tell someone who does not care some things some times, but that is about it for the usefulness of the woman.

I should clarify that the lowered pulse is being attributed to mindfulness meditation and not therapy per se.

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Very concrete. That said, I think it's extraordinarily difficult to trace every step in progress back to its cause. Especially when we're talking about something like "therapy." Because what's included in that? Just the hour you spend blathering? Something specific your therapist said/did? The application of a skill learned during a session or insight made in the therapy office? The exposure homework done at the suggestion of the therapist? What if you can attribute progress to the fact that you just feel a little better about yourself, and that came from forcing yourself to get dressed, get out of the house, and go somewhere--anywhere--nevermind that it happened to be therapy? Or maybe you can attribute progress to feeling more secure, and that came from not being rejected by your therapist when you talked about a completely unrelated secret?

For me, progress isn't difficult to measure--It's the causal factor that I'm less sure about. Mostly, I just try not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

* * * Both * * *

I don't consider psychotherapy/psychology to be a hard science. It's an art. Although I know that I've made progress in areas of my life and feel that good therapeutic intervention has contributed to that progress, I'd never say that therapy is the sole cause of my progress. I know that maturity, life experiences, self-intervention learning certain skills (meditation, the value of physical exercise every single day, self-help reading and personal relationships--how they work and practicing good boundaries) have all been helpful in me growing up and being stronger emotionally and physically.

I do know that I've gone without therapy for most of my adult life but I've learned that when things are shaky for me emotionally, it's been helpful for me personally to have a neutral person (who is skilled and well trained) to help me sort through things. I don't do well with someone who wants to quickly change me or point out my faults psychologically; I do well with someone who gives me space to talk things out and come to my own recognition of what's going on for me emotionally. That is a gold mine for me, personally.

1. Being able to handle worklife and everyday life again without feeling completely overwhelmed.
2. Allowing my emotions to just be (instead of supressing/dissociating)
3. Learning to "handle" those emotions in a more healthy/adequate manner
4. Learning to deal with conflict, and to set boundaries
5. Learning to be myself and allowing myself to be myself (self acceptance, self compassion etc.)
6. Being in the moment, here and now, instead of focusing on the "what ifs" or anticipating and freaking out about it.

I have worked with T for almost 7 years and over the last year there has been some real concrete progress. T has said for the last about 3 years that I a different person than the one that walked into her off the first year. However, it wasn't until recently I feel different. Some of the changes I have noticed

*I am more confident as a mom. In the past I always compared myself to what I perceived was a good parent. My perception was unrealistic. Through constant work, lots of positive reinforcement from T, and seeing with my kids are now I realize that I am a good mom who like everybody else makes mistakes. However, I own those mistakes and work to grow and learn from them.

*I am more assertive when need be. I have stood up to toxic family members in my life and told them they are no longer welcome. Initially hubby was prepared to talk to the family members if it was what I needed as I couldn't imagine doing it...at the last minute I decided it wasn't his job to do so, but mine.

*To take care of ME. Instead of always putting everybody else first, sometimes I need to put myself first in order to have good self care.

*Learning to trust people and that it is okay to not always wear a mask. I have told a couple people outside my best friend, hubby and T things I never imagined telling another person.

*Just because I was never good enough for my father, I am worthy and there are many people I am good enough for just the way I am.

*It is okay to be pissed at the people who abused me. I am not a dirty person or damaged....(well the last part we are working on)

How does a therapist actually help with any of these things? I look at things people say therapy have helped them with and most if not all of them can be achieved without a therapist. I have trouble understanding how seeing someone once a week or more or less can really help that much. I know it only harmed me so I suppose I have a different perspective.

People say therapy helps, but they don't really say how or what the factors are that are useful or good. And i know everyone is different and different things work for different people. That is obvious. I also know nothing is perfect so I know that isn't a factor. It just seems so bizarre to pay someone for an hour or so a week to do something??? What are they doing??