What do you consider progress from therapy to be?

I have had nothing I would consider progress on anything come about as a result of therapy. I don't know what therapy could do that would constitute progress about anything.
If you have had what you consider progress - is it concrete or more ethereal?

Concrete. Work your way up Maslow's pyramid of self actualization - im not that far up; i started out waaay behind, insecure physically as well as emotionally and financially. No boundaries. Now i got boundaries up the yin-yang.

And yes boundaries are concrete, not ethereal. Actions are taken, words are said.

Only seven months into my therapy, I don't see much in terms of concrete progress. Since I'm so darned self-reliant, my T is going to have to work pretty hard to convince me that something concrete is going to come out of therapy. (If anyone can do it, however, it will be my T who pulls it off!)

I look at very concrete things. For example, back when I first started therapy, I was very afraid of being out during the night (even 9-10 p.m) and thanks to therapy now I don't mind the time and I feel safe and confident in my ability to manage, though external circumstances in my city have not changed. When I started therapy I never hung out with friends for the sake of it (without having a project to work on or something) and now I hang out with friends and groups regularly. I am in much more contact with my body and emotions, which helps me in both my personal and professional life. There are many more aspects with which I've made progress through therapy, but these are some of the highlights for me.

My evidence of progress looks pretty concrete from where I'm standing, although admittedly I'm unsure as to how we are defining concrete, maybe because I'm not really awake yet.


I see the evidence in how I am better able to manage in times of distress, in how I am rectifying maladaptive behaviors, how my relationships have improved, and how I have improved within those relationships.


But just in case I think I may be imagining my progress, there's always a bestie, my bf or my daughter who every so often comments on the positive changes they're witnessing, and that keeps me motivated to keep at it.

Better boundaries in relationships.
Sorting out what I'm responsible for and what I'm not responsible for.
A safe place to talk about stuff that happened to me.
Less bad dreams.
Less dramas with other people.
Being able to leave my marriage
Not getting caught up in other people's problems
There's more but I can't think right now

Very concrete.

I no longer live in depression and anxiety. I no longer am a danger to myself.
I no longer suffer from extreme anxiety and overwhelming symptoms of PTSD.

I am finally actively engaged in my life in positive and fulfilling ways.
I am happy. I am content. I am confident. I am proactive and advocate positively and assertively for myself.

I am med free. I am hospital free. I am even therapy free finally because it served its very important purpose in my life and I have been able to move beyond its immediate need in my life.

Concrete. I went to therapy to work on very specific goals and strategies on how to achieve those goals. Having someone to work on it with was helpful. Don't know if I would get there myself.

I only check up with my t now once in few months. In fact I'll see her next week and last time I saw her was in January. She actually called two days ago to see how I am. And I made an appointment.

I actively went for about a year ( bi-weekly), then started to come monthly and now it will just gradually ending, it's been about 18 months total . I went with a short term goal in mind. I would be very concerned if I went to therapy for years and no progress. I'd feel I wasted my time, as I don't have MI that need regular monitoring but rather wanted to reach a specific goal.

I don't have the time to just keep going. I know if some issues will arise in life and I won't be able to figure them out i would resume short term therapy again. Personally my goal is to not need therapy.

My fiancée did CBT in order to learn strategies dealing with Tourettes and OCD. OCD and Tourettes will never go away but uses strategies every single day and it is all under control. There is no need for him to keep going. His therapy was successful as well although different from mine

I understand the situation when people stay in therapy for life or for many years. It depends what they are in therapy for. I am not saying it's wrong.

. I actually like my t as s person and I wouldn't mind talking to her just chit-chat. But then it wouldn't be therapy and it's not free. I wouldn't mind being friends with her after t. But it is probably not going to happen.

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I would imagine it would depend on your issues and what your goals are in therapy! I personally wanted to work on being comfortable in my own skin , I can see progress but I have been working very hard myself on that and can give my therapist credit for pointing me in the right direction but I did most of the work myself!

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I think for me it would be not wanting the therapeutic relationship anymore because I would have got everything from it that I want and need and would have everything I want and need moving forward in my other relationships. I would have worked through all of my past and would see hope for the future.

So far it's pretty ethereal for me but that's good enough to keep me working on things inside and outside of therapy. It will become concrete in time.

Although my heart rate used to run about 105-110 and now for the past month it's averaged in the low 90's. Concrete enough?

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No. 1 kept on insisting I had made progress, by which she seemed to mean I talked to people and opened up more (I did not agree). As life events mean that I am now too depressed to talk to people in the flesh unless I have to, that's gone.

Eta: never thought of the possible physical benefits, like lowered pulse. Huh.

Some of it is that I don't know why I would attribute therapy as helping with some things people list even if I thought I noticed such things. The other is that while the woman has said she hopes I will "honor the work we have done in making sense of some things from my past" (I don't even know what that means - and seriously - the woman talks like that - is it any wonder I get frustrated when I let her talk?) - I did not go to see her to "make sense of some things from my past" nor do I think that has occurred in any way. I do find it useful to tell someone who does not care some things some times, but that is about it for the usefulness of the woman.

I should clarify that the lowered pulse is being attributed to mindfulness meditation and not therapy per se.

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Very concrete. That said, I think it's extraordinarily difficult to trace every step in progress back to its cause. Especially when we're talking about something like "therapy." Because what's included in that? Just the hour you spend blathering? Something specific your therapist said/did? The application of a skill learned during a session or insight made in the therapy office? The exposure homework done at the suggestion of the therapist? What if you can attribute progress to the fact that you just feel a little better about yourself, and that came from forcing yourself to get dressed, get out of the house, and go somewhere--anywhere--nevermind that it happened to be therapy? Or maybe you can attribute progress to feeling more secure, and that came from not being rejected by your therapist when you talked about a completely unrelated secret?

For me, progress isn't difficult to measure--It's the causal factor that I'm less sure about. Mostly, I just try not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

* * * Both * * *

I don't consider psychotherapy/psychology to be a hard science. It's an art. Although I know that I've made progress in areas of my life and feel that good therapeutic intervention has contributed to that progress, I'd never say that therapy is the sole cause of my progress. I know that maturity, life experiences, self-intervention learning certain skills (meditation, the value of physical exercise every single day, self-help reading and personal relationships--how they work and practicing good boundaries) have all been helpful in me growing up and being stronger emotionally and physically.

I do know that I've gone without therapy for most of my adult life but I've learned that when things are shaky for me emotionally, it's been helpful for me personally to have a neutral person (who is skilled and well trained) to help me sort through things. I don't do well with someone who wants to quickly change me or point out my faults psychologically; I do well with someone who gives me space to talk things out and come to my own recognition of what's going on for me emotionally. That is a gold mine for me, personally.

1. Being able to handle worklife and everyday life again without feeling completely overwhelmed.
2. Allowing my emotions to just be (instead of supressing/dissociating)
3. Learning to "handle" those emotions in a more healthy/adequate manner
4. Learning to deal with conflict, and to set boundaries
5. Learning to be myself and allowing myself to be myself (self acceptance, self compassion etc.)
6. Being in the moment, here and now, instead of focusing on the "what ifs" or anticipating and freaking out about it.

I have worked with T for almost 7 years and over the last year there has been some real concrete progress. T has said for the last about 3 years that I a different person than the one that walked into her off the first year. However, it wasn't until recently I feel different. Some of the changes I have noticed

*I am more confident as a mom. In the past I always compared myself to what I perceived was a good parent. My perception was unrealistic. Through constant work, lots of positive reinforcement from T, and seeing with my kids are now I realize that I am a good mom who like everybody else makes mistakes. However, I own those mistakes and work to grow and learn from them.

*I am more assertive when need be. I have stood up to toxic family members in my life and told them they are no longer welcome. Initially hubby was prepared to talk to the family members if it was what I needed as I couldn't imagine doing it...at the last minute I decided it wasn't his job to do so, but mine.

*To take care of ME. Instead of always putting everybody else first, sometimes I need to put myself first in order to have good self care.

*Learning to trust people and that it is okay to not always wear a mask. I have told a couple people outside my best friend, hubby and T things I never imagined telling another person.

*Just because I was never good enough for my father, I am worthy and there are many people I am good enough for just the way I am.

*It is okay to be pissed at the people who abused me. I am not a dirty person or damaged....(well the last part we are working on)

How does a therapist actually help with any of these things? I look at things people say therapy have helped them with and most if not all of them can be achieved without a therapist. I have trouble understanding how seeing someone once a week or more or less can really help that much. I know it only harmed me so I suppose I have a different perspective.

People say therapy helps, but they don't really say how or what the factors are that are useful or good. And i know everyone is different and different things work for different people. That is obvious. I also know nothing is perfect so I know that isn't a factor. It just seems so bizarre to pay someone for an hour or so a week to do something??? What are they doing??

Well, for me personally, it was helpful and no, for me personally, I do not believe that I could have achieved any of the things I talked about without the support, empathy and understanding of psychology and development that my three very good therapists provided. Did I see other therapists for a "test drive" and feel that they would have been helpful? Yes, and I got out of the relationship immediately. Personally, I knew on a deep level that he/she would NOT be helpful to me.

I am a very private person and I don't talk about my personal issues with friends or family members on a deep level. I love them. I know they care about me and would attempt to help, but basically, I know that they have their own issues and troubles bearing down on them. I, personally, would much rather pay someone to assist me in getting a clearer picture of how I want to handle things. I don't want to talk in-depth about these issues more than once a week because living and wallowing in my difficulties more than that is tiresome and difficult. Better for me, personally, to pay someone and go in and talk about my issues and then leave them there when I leave until the next session. I do not think or feel that this is a solution for everyone, but it definitely works for me!

A simple answer of how I evaluate my progress in this most recent round of therapy (about 6 years) is a significant increase in well-being. I recently read an article by a research-oriented neuroscientist summarized the factors that resonate with me in terms of understanding well-being:

The Four Keys to Well-Being | Greater Good

1. Resilience. I am more resilient now, the negative life events over which I have no control or problematic interactions with the people in my life do not bother me as much as they did before therapy. I think this is because therapy gave me a safe space to discuss how much I was bothered by these things, the ability to realize where my own destructive actions were causing me pain, how to change the things I wanted to change and how to accept the people and situations I was facing if I couldn't or wouldn't change them. Therapy also helped me reach out to others, including my spouse, for support, because my T showed me that even when her reactions weren't perfect, they were still useful. I became more willing to accept what people offered rather than what I thought they should offer.

2. Outlook. As a naturally critical person, including of myself, therapy has helped me learn to appreciate the good and positive more in people, including my family and friends and experiences that are not always what I anticipate they might be-- from unrealistic expectations about vacations to realistic expectations that my wife can meet my needs if I communicate them in a way she can understand. In general, I see things and people as less positive or negative, most seem like a thoroughly mixed bag, and I enjoy myself and my life more than I have in the past. I am more willing to try new things and ways of doing old things rather than be so stuck on it must be my way or the highway. The people in my life appreciate my increased openness. I think a lot of this is because my T has very subtly encouraged me to accept the positive in myself as well as the negative (which I was much better at before therapy) and has taught me how to hang onto the positive more than the negative. She encourages me to accept responsibility for what is mine and to question whether others' perceptions of what is mine is really the case. Somewhat paradoxically, as I have learned to accept the positive in myself, it is easier to acknowledge the negative to others and take responsibility for pain I have caused, while also being willing to let go of the negative feelings about making mistakes or being less perfect than I'd like to be. Self flagellation greatly reduced.

3. Attention. I have suffered from severe to mild PTSD for much of my life, coming to this latest round of therapy with a lot of symptoms, including flashbacks and nightmares and triggers for anxiety and panic. My symptoms have all but disappeared, and I can be present for sustained periods of time in my life in ways I couldn't before. Although I came to therapy practicing meditation, I also started Tai Chi about 4 years ago. Therapy with a T who knows mindfulness has enhanced my meditation practice, and Tai Chi has reinforced and developed my mindfulness as well. Although I've always had good focus in work, I now experience much less anxiety and far greater flow, especially in the public nature of some of my work. In my life, I feel more grounded in relationships and conversations and my kids especially say I pay better attention to them when they talk than I used to. The reduction of PTSD symptoms comes from speaking about the past in therapy with a T who created a calm and centering and mindful place for me. When I first started, I couldn't talk about my past without dissociation and generally freaking out with panic. She encouraged me to go slow and helped me develop better grounding skills that we practiced in the last minutes of session. Now I can actually say what happened to me in words that resemble normal English, with emotional resonance and staying present.

4. Generosity. For me this is not about "charity" or doing volunteer work, both of which I have always done, but developing a state of mind where I don't always see threat and danger and hostility from other people. I give other people the benefit of the doubt, not for their sake or because I "know" what is true, but because therapy has helped me realize that behavior I interpret as negative towards me just often really isn't. My T has helped this directly by being willing to discuss my negative experiences with her and share her perspective with me about an interaction, even if it's just a "look on her face." I have realized that I don't always "read" people right, even if it's an email, and that knowing what's inside another person's mind and heart is pretty much impossible to know unless they share it with me.

If people question whether I know how I've made progress and how I can interpret it as a result of therapy in ways that aren't explained above, I would answer that I know what is true for myself. Just as those who have been harmed by therapy know that this is true for me.

I got me a long list of both, which amazes me. Perhaps even more amazing to me is how much more that already long list needs to grow!

My t made suggestions about specific things that I haven't considered.

Both I and t come from the same culture and have similar experiences growing up as well
as experiences with immigration. At this point in my life I don't associate much with other immigrants with similar experiences as mine. I mostly associate with local people. Some immigrants that I do encounter are the types that don't assimilate, remain
within their own culture and overall have very negative outlooks ( which isn't my experience). I went through immigration without ever stopping to think or acknowledging effect on ones health etc i was just too busy. I don't have anyone in real life to discuss it with as others might not fully relate or aren't neutral third party.

We all do have different experiences. I do imagine that t might not be all that helpful ( I saw someone about 10 years ago and although she was fun talking to it wasn't helpful n a long run, she just couldn't relate ).

But I don't know how can t could be damaging. I do understand on intellectual level from reading on here and I do sympathize. I just cannot relate and it does seem bizarre paying someone who isn't good for more than few appointments. I had appointment with bad hair dressers, once with bad dentist etc but i never ever went back.

I do understand why people might not leave etc I am just bringing this example to show that we have different experiences. You can't relate to paying t for one hour of talking same way others might not relate paying t ( beyond few sessions)who is damaging in any shape or form.

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It has been concrete for me. I have learned how to internalize people. I have learned how to set boundaries in relationships. I have learned how to talk more and identify my needs. I have learned strength. I have made a lot of positive changes in my life. My therapist has taught me so much and so has our therapeutic relationship.