[retro_chic]

I don't usually remember my dreams but this one I remember quite clearly. I went to have a session with T but instead of it being in her office the session was in my parent's bedroom. Their bedroom has its own bathroom. When I walked in the bathroom door was slightly open and I caught a tiny glimpse of T naked like she had just got out of the shower. I said "oh sorry! I promise I didn't see anything!". T said "no, that's okay" and two seconds later she came out all dressed and ready for our session. We sat on my parents bed and started the session. I don't remember what we talked about but T was very chatty and self disclosed a lot (something she never does in real life). Then T hugged me. Somehow our armpits came in contact during the hug and made a farting sound. T and I started laughing hysterically.

Weirdest dream ever. I am experiencing a lot of maternal transference at the moment so I guess that explains some of it. Although the armpit fart thing is pretty bizarre. I did feel happy and comfortable in the dream which is the opposite of how I feel in my real life sessions.

That is really weird.

I've also had dreams about my therapists in bedrooms, on beds.

I think the emotions you remember feeling in the dream can help you learn about yourself (rather than the content alone).

What do you think it symbolizes?

[atisketatasket]

Maybe your subconscious is encouraging you to feel more comfortable in your sessions like you do in the dream? That this woman is okay?

From your posts, I take it you have a lot of conflicts. I only recognize it because I am like that too. I forgot to mention that some of my T dreams have been in my parent's bedroom. When I see similarities like this, it reminds me of how common psychological conflicts are.

The dream might represent your conflict--

Seeing her naked represents intimacy (symbolically) as being naked often correlates with baring your soul, sharing your true self. You felt you were intruding, and felt the need to back off, shut her out (shut the door), close yourself off from her. But she was ok with it. She accepted you.

Then the closeness--hugging--represents your need for intimacy. You accepted her, her opening up to you, and felt good about it.

One interesting aspect of this is that when she was naked in the bathroom, you shut the door, shut her out. But when she was dressed on the bed, you opened up (self-disclosure), let her in.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by ex vivo

From your posts, I take it you have a lot of conflicts. I only recognize it because I am like that too. I forgot to mention that some of my T dreams have been in my parent's bedroom. When I see similarities like this, it reminds me of how common psychological conflicts are.

The dream might represent your conflict--

Seeing her naked represents intimacy (symbolically) as being naked often correlates with baring your soul, sharing your true self. You felt you were intruding, and felt the need to back off, shut her out (shut the door), close yourself off from her. But she was ok with it. She accepted you.

Then the closeness--hugging--represents your need for intimacy. You accepted her, her opening up to you, and felt good about it.

One interesting aspect of this is that when she was naked in the bathroom, you shut the door, shut her out. But when she was dressed on the bed, you opened up (self-disclosure), let her in.

Thank you for your reply. I have a lot of inner conflict if that's what you mean? I go to great lengths to avoid conflict with other people though!

I definitely want to feel more comfortable with T during our sessions. Outside of the sessions I think about her a lot and want to be close to her and want her to be my mother. I often wish she would hug me but when I am actually in session with her the idea of her touching me seems so weird and uncomfortable.

I have a really hard time talking to T about our relationship and the feelings I have towards her. I had planned on talking about some of it in my session today but I couldn't do it. I started talking about something else and then we went off on a whole tangent that went on for the whole session.

I have a lot of inner conflict if that's what you mean?

Yes, exactly. This is good. People who don't have such conflicts have more ego-syntonic behaviors, which can be very destructive to self and others. Having these conflicts sort of directs you to doing the 'right thing'. If you didn't have the conflict, for example, you might be most comfortable isolating yourself rather than striving to engage in relationships.

I have a really hard time talking to T about our relationship and the feelings I have towards her.

That gets better in time. Once you get used to it, it can become second nature.

Your therapy reminds me when I started, I miss those days. It started much like yours. Something stopped it years later. but that was the most memorable and life-changing time during my therapy. All the exploration and learning about yourself, as if getting to know yourself for the first time. It can be fascinating.

I think you're going to have a really good therapy.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by ex vivo

Your therapy reminds me when I started, I miss those days. It started much like yours. Something stopped it years later. but that was the most memorable and life-changing time during my therapy. All the exploration and learning about yourself, as if getting to know yourself for the first time. It can be fascinating.

I think you're going to have a really good therapy.

Thanks for this . I have actually already spent about 2.5 years in therapy with two different Ts. They were both CBT/ACT based so it was quite different to the psychodynamic therapy I am doing now after a two year break. I am finding psychodynamic therapy much more intense. I often feel overwhelmed and want to quit but I know I'm going to try and stick it out. My T has said that I haven't really had the space to explore myself growing up (which is true) so hopefully she will be able to help me do that now.