[IndestructibleGirl]

I am incredulous that she's done this, suggesting that we can meet because she would be happy to - as if!

I feel nothing for her, it's kind of curious. I used to love this person. I can remember the truly nice moments before it went so wrong, and remember that they were nice in the moment, but that's it. It's actually a bit confusing and reminds me a bit of how my ex fiance would sent Christmas presents to me and my family for a couple of years after I broke up with him. With him I think he was trying to make me think of him, but again, I felt nothing really except irritation.

I'm a little annoyed at her brass neck to be honest. I have no idea what she wants but assume she must want something? Attention I guess? Or to play games? In her message she talks about 'thinking of me often', and the way it ended, and I have no idea if she is being genuine, or if she is cynically saying what she thinks will make me reply to her. It's crazy. I couldn't trust her as far as I could throw her.

It's a strange situation.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

I am incredulous that she's done this, suggesting that we can meet because she would be happy to - as if!


I feel nothing for her, it's kind of curious. I used to love this person. I can remember the truly nice moments before it went so wrong, and remember that they were nice in the moment, but that's it. It's actually a bit confusing and reminds me a bit of how my ex fiance would sent Christmas presents to me and my family for a couple of years after I broke up with him. With him I think he was trying to make me think of him, but again, I felt nothing really except irritation.


I'm a little annoyed at her brass neck to be honest. I have no idea what she wants but assume she must want something? Attention I guess? Or to play games? In her message she talks about 'thinking of me often', and the way it ended, and I have no idea if she is being genuine, or if she is cynically saying what she thinks will make me reply to her. It's crazy. I couldn't trust her as far as I could throw her.


It's a strange situation.

I really don't know what to say to this other than trust your instincts.
Does your T want you to go back to her as a client or does she want you to meet up in general?
I'm curious as to how it ended and when?

[IndestructibleGirl]

It ended really badly over a year ago! We've not been in touch since.

She is being quite ambiguous about what she means about meeting. I have no interest either way. I am surprised though, it's a blast from the past.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

It ended really badly over a year ago! We've not been in touch since.

She is being quite ambiguous about what she means about meeting. I have no interest either way. I am surprised though, it's a blast from the past.

I imagine this brings up a lot of feelings for you but it seems like you've moved on from that relationship.
Maybe you could reply and tell her what you think of this contact and the meet up?
From what I can guess it's likely your T has unresolved issues with you about how it ended and she feels bad.
A year later is a long time though, no wonder it's strange for you.

Funnily enough the exact same thing has happened to me in the last few weeks, after a year of no contact my ex T has suddenly got in touch. I remember your ex T and how much pain she caused you. Did you ever report her in the end? If you did that would be even crazier on her part!
When my ex T got in touch I felt angry, and it also felt like confirmation that I was right to leave him - I wasn't making it up, he did have shocking boundaries!
How are you doing these days? Are you in any other type of therapy? It took some processing for me when he got in contact and I actually found it quite destabilising for a while. It tested my relationship with my current T too.
I think your reaction is totally understandable, and she sounds like she hasn't changed a bit. You're right not to be drawn into looking back on the relationship with rose tinted specs. Are you planning to respond?

I don't really have anything more to say as I think Echos and itjustis said everything I wanted to and more. I think trusting your instinct and your instinct is not to trust her. Sounds like she has given you good reasons not to trust her. I would be curious to see what she wants but that's just me. It sounds like you have moved on from this and wonder would meeting her stir up lots of old feelings and put a halt to your healing. I think your t is being incredibly selfish.

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[AncientMelody]

I think not meeting up with her would be best for one's well being in general, it certainly sounds sketchy! let us know how things go!

[divine1966]

Makes me wonder if she thinks u reported her. Otherwise I don't understand the purpose of meeting?

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[JaneTennison1]

I don't think these therapists give one single thought to how contact will affect you but more how it will serve their needs. I think it shows you were right to leave, although it's someone gratifying to have her in a position of wanting you to reach out. We'll it would be for me, I'd be tempted to reply with a resounding eff off haha.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Honestly, this seems just plain cruel.

What happened with your complaint against her?

[DelusionsDaily]

That's absurdly selfish on her part. I just wouldnt respond. If I recall correctly she doesnt deserve one.

[Bipolar Warrior]

I think I would hate it and love it at the same time. How odd! I have no idea if I would respond to it, but I would certainly be tempted to.

I don't know much about your story, though, but if it was very bad I agree with the others that you probably shouldn't meet up with her. Especially not if you are over it and have moved on.

[feralkittymom]

Wow, IG; I guess I shouldn't be surprised given her blindly fluid boundaries of the past. It sounds like you're doing well--glad for you!

[IndestructibleGirl]

No way will I meet her! I just don't want to.

I can remember how I used to think the world of her, and now I can't believe that...I don't know how I was sucked in. I suppose she wasn't the person I thought she was, and I've got so used to knowing who she is (unethical, and the rest) that it feels incongruous now to have this silky sweet message coming in from her.

I guess it could possibly be cruelty motivating her to send it, but oh well if it is it's not upsetting me. The feelings coming up are 'I can't believe the cheek of her', and mild annoyance. I think she actually must be deluded.

I'm good [smile] Everything seemed to start improving once I got rid of her from my life, first gradually and then more rapidly. Of course life isn't all sparkly perfect, but it's enjoyable, fulfilling and exciting.

I still don't really know exactly why she seemed to hellbent on doing so much damage, but it's all very firmly in the past and I have no interest in discussing it with her. I can't believe she thinks I'd actually want to discuss it with her, and rake over the coals. That's pretty mental.

[IndestructibleGirl]

You know in courtroom dramas you get plotlines involving 'temporary insanity'? I feel like she unravelled me and made me temporarily insane for the latter period of time we 'worked' together!

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

You know in courtroom dramas you get plotlines involving 'temporary insanity'? I feel like she unravelled me and made me temporarily insane for the latter period of time we 'worked' together!

She probably did and she probably did it intentionally to unravel you so when she got reported it would be easy to blame to erratic unravelled client.
She probably gaslighted you and used every technique she learned against you. I am really glad to hear you will never meet her and that you can see now the damage she did and are choosing to have no part and look after yourself. This woman sounds very dangerous.

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Crikey. Perhaps she feels sorry? Perhaps she genuinely does care and has been thinking about you and wondering about you? From what you said about her I think she genuinely did care, but was a little misguided. (Actually, a lot). I think that the one year mark is a time that clients might think about their ex-T, and perhaps get in touch. Maybe she has been wondering if you want to?

You sound like you have really moved on? I hope things are going well for you.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Could she be trying to prevent further legal action or something? Didn't you run into her a few months ago and she didnt seem interested then? So weird

Use of insensitive and offensive pejoratives like 'crazy' to describe your T is hurtful and reinforces stigma extremely damaging to the mentally ill. Allow me to suggest the use of more sensitive terms such as 'nuts', 'wacko'. or 'insane in the membrane'.