Couch 111 - The Simple, Clear, and Informative Couch

Put off cutting grass until tomorrow.

I'm coming down with a cold. Yuck.

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Here the pollen is now all over cars and porches - just a layer of pollen dust - I am hopped up on sudefed and may need to break out the claritan.

I'm heading to bed. Wolf came to me in my dream last night, I'm hoping she comes again tonight. She was a beautiful white wolf and I'd love to 'see' her again. Night couchies!

Those who betray a trust, betray a friend, make up lies to destroy someone and repeat cruel and horrible things will see justice one day. Some day they will need someone and NO ONE will be there for them. NO ONE because they don't deserve any help. they don't deserve any comfort and they surely don't deserve any relief.

Depends on where you work (and who you are related to). Some places cover up for selected individuals.

As I recall, Popcorn was one of the very first "electronic" hits. In those days, electronic musicians refused to imitate acoustic instruments and took pride in making the sounds as artificial as possible.

It looks like a sort of reverse limerick.

The contradiction between the authentic and artificial aspects of therapy is part of what makes it work, apparently. It's that tension that triggers the insecurities of the patient while making them secure enough to discuss it.

A "metric butt" would be half a "metric ton", ie. 500 kg.

It's not so funny if it happens to you.

Welcome to the couch!

Good morning, couch. It's Monday, but I am not at work like usual. My kids have the day off and my mom was supposed to watch the kids, but she got sick... So, I took the day off. It's a good day to be off as it's supposed to be close to 70 degrees today! We leave for vacation in Virginia on Friday so I can start the process of packing for 4 people for 7 days.

I see T tomorrow, because I won't be here for the next 2 Friday's. I cut my appointment short in Friday because I had just checked out, and was not interested in talking about myself or my problems. Hopefully, Tuesday will go better.

I don't see how the acknowledgment of it being acting/artificial is devaluing it - I think it is what they are trained to do. I also don't know why a therapist would care what I think about their profession. I am willing to hand them money for their artifice.

I just realized what i meant by masquerading. That she can keep "us" existing only in that rarified bubble of time, but i can't seem to. As in, i am the one who has to pretend that i can so i am the one who would have to wear the mask. I think is what i meant. Anyway, t knows now that i want to talk more about it. My use of the word masquerade may have made her feel accused, but apparently mt poetic self knew what to do to get this conversation going between her & me. I appreciate everyones input here, too.

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Nothing matters.

I think you've nailed it CE.

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Except everything

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It's a hard topic. I really had to step away from it yesterday because I was so shaken by it...
I like CE's observation.

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I agree with this as a general statement - I would go a bit further -nothing matters except to the extent one places a value upon it. It is arbitrary and sometimes capricious.

Yes i think i understand what you mean. Thank you.

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Yes. But all that means is that things can matter to other people, which is valid for them. I would never say that something that is important to someone else is generally unimportant, even if I find it completely pointless. (Actually, I would say that about some things, but I am capable of accepting that other people have very different priorities and tastes from me.)

But since I do not matter, anything that I arbitrarily place a value on does not matter. Unless it also matters to someone else.

I'm still perseverating on the t relationship thing so i beg your continued indulgence. How i felt on saturday sitting there while t read my poem was like a little girl who just showed her mommy a finger painting she felt proud of making. (I've been told when i was little i didn't do that.) i recognize of course the projection and it made me want to bolt out of there in fact i dang near knocked her down trying to get past her chair til she pointed out that i seemed to be in a hurry and i made up something about not wanting to go over time. In our brief email exchange yest she offered to meet in a week instead of the 2 weeks we scheduled but i declined for financial reasons which was not a lie, its partly that, but it's also partly at talking about it all. Resistance with a capital R. We're touching that young, scared little me again. And she wants to stay safely hidden away instead. But the cat's outta the bag now. Incidentally i scoured my house saturday to find my little stuffed animal dog my grandma gave me when i was 2. I'm sleeping with it again. I felt about 2 the other day w t. I don't wanna feel 2. Sorry for blathering on.

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Oh and i've already decided i'm heading straight for the sand tray next time.

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That sounds extremely scary, artemis. Well done!

I was listening to a couple of friends of mine, roughly my own age, talking about scary movies the other evening. They were discussing how, when they were little, if they were scared of something (such as a movie or something on TV) their dad or mum would talk to them about it and, I dunno, comfort them or something I think. Possibly even sit by their side as they fell asleep. I stayed out of that discussion, partly because I still don't particularly like horror films (or books, either) so didn't have anything to contribute there, but partly because the notion of telling a parent (or anyone else) that I was scared of something would not really have occurred to me, I think. Is that weird?
As for having a parent there when going to sleep - well. I have had insomnia for as long as I can remember, and pretending to sleep was something I was really good at when I was a preschooler! As long as somebody was there, and awake, I could not sleep. Again, is that weird?