Couch 111 - The Simple, Clear, and Informative Couch

The ex used to say stuff like that - 'sorry isn't enough' and 'if you were sorry you wouldn't have done it'
It's emotional abuse.

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I would take it to mean either that sorry is not necessary OR that what was done is so egregious that even if the actor is sorry does not make up for the act OR that the actor does things and always apologizes but keeps doing the things so that the apology is not sincere.
It would depend upon the context I think

I was saying sorry to T that I wasn't trying hard enough or doing more to 'help myself' but I was doing my best. Basically I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I just feel the sorry so deeply and I did mean it, so I'm confused by what T could have meant.

Maybe that's why hearing T say it affected me so much - because my ex and mother both say the same as you said below. So I don't know how I could hear it 'differently' since it's all I've known. T didn't say any of those phrases just that, "I'm not going to acknowledge the sorry, they don't matter" and all my brain heard was my mom or my ex...?

I think the therapist meant that in therapy there's no reason to be sorry and that he's not going to get into apology because it's focused on the wrong part

That makes sense, at least logically anyway. I want to bring it up today because it affected me so much last night but I believe you're spot on with what T meant. I do faintly recall her saying - "I'm not even going to go there with that" right before she said my sorry's don't matter.

Thank you.

Oh, and is it sorry's or sorries ???

I think sd's right. Altho i also think a t should be a bit more sensitive in the phrasing. Saying sorrys don't matter to me, despite whatever she might mean, would leave me feeling i can't think of the word but like what i feel doesn't matter. Probably goes back to being told thst other stuff mentioned growing up too. Sorry you're having to deal w this.

My maternal transference for t is back with a vengeance and i hate it. Meh.

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I don't think it has a plural. It's not a noun, but either an adjective ("sorry fate") or, when apologizing to someone, an adjective that becomes an interjection, which generally don't have plurals. You'd have to use apologies.

Sorry for the lecture!

Oh, and I think SD's interpretation is probably correct. When people are trying much harder than they acknowledge to themselves and they apologize to me for some perceived laziness, I often say something like "you have nothing to be sorry for."

EM i just realized i sounded judgemental about your t. I did not intend to come off that way and i apologize.

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Hi my name is Artie and i am addicted to baby carrots. And my t. But not together.

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(((Art)))
Maternal transference is a trip to say the least...
I think it's best to just go with it, fighting it seems to make it worse... Trust that you'll come out the other side

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Can I have some pocket riders for my pdoc phone appointment tomorrow? I'm debating whether or not to tell him a secret and I could really use some support.
The appointment is in 18 hours and 19 minutes (14.00 local time).

There are worse things to be addicted than baby carrots, though they may turn your skin orange if you eat too many...

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Count me in

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Art - I eat a carrot or two a day and my palms, elbows and soles of my feet are all orange.
http://goodhealthall.com/risks-and-s...-many-carrots/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carotenosis

You might consider throwing in some radishes or celery to munch.

You didn't sound judgemental. She can be less than cautious about her choice of phrasing sometimes. That is exactly how I felt when I left session. I think going over SD's explanation has helped a lot and I'm not sure I'm going to even bring it up now.

Maternal Transference is so tricky and difficult, but I have learned a lot because of it.

Of course! I'm in your time zone, and will be in your pocket.

Me, myself, and I volunteer!

(I was just going to say me, but you know, PC rules about length of posts.)

I will probably be sleeping but if I can snooze in your pocket I'll go

Here's hoping that maternal transference is more painful than getting my tooth pulled day after tomorrow...

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I feel sooo lost. I can't breathe. I feel like I am drowning.

Watching Rocky Horror... "let's do the Time Warp again!!"

Our comedians are getting a lot of mileage from Johnny Depps apology video..

Going back to BunYip's emoji story idea a Couch ago, read this and tell me how my day went and what I did: