[M3233]

TL;DR: Nice therapist in really sketchy office that makes me nervous. Will I get over it? What would you do?

Long version:
So my psychiatrist recommended me to another therapist (t2) for EDMR. I have OCD and no trauma. The therapist I've seen for quite a while (t1) though this was odd but said to try it anyways, despite her usually giving the out there suggestions and pdoc turning them down. Pdoc warned me that his office wasn't really nice "like his" yet pdoc's office isn't really that all stylish but it is nice enough to be professional. I kind of laughed it off at the time.

We go for my appointment today that we had to wait a month to get. We drive up and the office is in the back of a pretty beat up insurance office that backs up to train tracks. His door has one of those reversible open/closed signed that you might see at a dive restaurant. There is a piece of paper taped to the door with his name printed on it. I immediately fell frightened as I'm about to go in a pretty sketchy therapist's office. I desire to be aloft and give minimal information so I can get out and never come back. We go inside and it filled with old furniture and the radio is blasting with its cord all over the place.

T2 turns out to be an older man. He invites us into the office where I sit directly across from his desk which is sagging in the middle and kept glancing at. He actually turns out to seem to know a lot especially about OCD and anxiety, although I get the impression that he is not at all planning to do EMDR with me. The only thing negative that sticks out to me out him personally is he doesn't really sugar coat things. When he asked me how bad it got and I described a few incidents he said I had "severe OCD" even when me and my mom protested that things could be worse. Comparatively t1 is always telling me how strong I am, how much insight I have,etc. I'm a super sensitive person and last time I was with someone kinda blunt, it went very bad.

I'm having conflicted thoughts about possibly starting therapy with him. While I can talk to him alone, I felt slightly less comfortable at the moment my mom left. Normally I kick her out as soon as possible. I wouldn't feel comfortable going there alone and don't think I ever would while I actually prefer going to t1 alone.

We've been on the hunt for someone with some new strategies to try. As awesome as t1 is, she has admitted several times that although she is happy to talk to me, she doesn't really know how else to help. We saw another therapist with a PhD (t1 has a masters) and she said she didn't know how she could help either. While t2 hasn't given us a plan of action yet, he sounds like he has some ideas. Then again he hasn't heard the boatload of things I've already tried.

I just can't get over the atmosphere! I've been in not so nice areas before and usually I'm fine. It just the idea of reviving a service from a profession who presents himself this way. It makes me really have doubts about trusting him. Also spotted a book that had a title that pertained to hypnosis (although it was self-hypnosis) and that kinda added to the weariness. I'm conflicted whether I'll get over this or not. I'm leaning towards at least trying another session and seeing what ideas he has. Do y'all think I'll get over this? Should I seriously plan on seeing him for therapy? Fortunatly t1 is actually the best and doesn't mind being a fall back. She actually told us to tell her if EMDR goes well. Any advice is much appreciated. I'm going to try to talk to pdoc about it at my appointment in a few days, but I don't know how much time I'll have to discuss it.

Wow I'm sorry that was so long! Thanks! Y'all are the best!

[Out There]

I might try another session and see how it goes and you feel. " Don't judge a book by its cover " comes to mind a little.I had better Physiotherapy in places that didn't look as great as others where appearance was more important.

[atisketatasket]

I think I probably would not go back. He may know what he is doing, but he should care enough about clients to present a different atmosphere. How are you supposed to feel comfortable enough to do therapy there?

That you don't fit the classic EMDR profile and your therapist agrees suggests you don't need this guy. Can your therapist find you someone else with a different approach if that's what you need?

[MobiusPsyche]

What kind of sketchy?

Shabby? I would give it at least another session.

Unsafe? If I felt unsafe with the neighborhood of anything like that, I personally might not go back. I'm not sure I could get into a good mindspace for therapy and opening up and talking about feelings if the surroundings felt dangerous or unsafe in any way.

Sent from my mobile device using Tapatalk.

[M3233]

Thank y'all so much for the replies!

Out There: Yes, I've though about that too and it is definitely a good point.

Atisketatasket: I honestly don't know if he realizes that it is all that awful. I will ask pdoc about the idea of trying another different therapist.

MobiusPsyche: I think the shabbiness/tackiness makes it feel a little unsafe, maybe so than the area actually is. Former pdoc's and former t's office are actually around a mile down the road in a quiet little area tucked back. While their offices might not be trendy, they are perfectly professional and neat.

Thanks again!!

[Trippin2.0]

Maybe his office looks like that on purpose... To kick start the exposure part of the therapy he offers. *shrugs

[divine1966]

Try one more time. Don't dismiss him yet

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Focus62]

My current T's office isn't sketchy, but it's messy. I'm not a messy person. When I first met her and saw her office, I was like "oh shxt" cause someone this disorganized with stuff can't be emotionally put-together enough to be a T! Messiness screams emotional instability to me for some reason...I can't explain it. While she has disclosed her own issues with anxiety to me, it didn't turn me away. I braved the mess another time and you know what? She's a great T, and I've learned a lot about her and why her office is so messy...haha. I would say give it another shot if you're not *completely* afraid or unsettled by his office. You might have found a gem.

[eclogite]

Ok, have to share my story (quickly).

I finished with my t after 4 years. I felt like I was DONE with therapy. No more, you know? Ready to take on everything on my own and leave the safety net behind.

Two months later I'm talking to this girl I knew from one of my old churches - mind you we hadn't talked in years. She tells me about this guy who is an awesome T, but truly faith-driven (which is something I'm really open to bc I want to strengthen my faith).

I email with the guy, he tells me a little bit about his style. My friend tells me he's in one town, he tells me he's in another town (all the same general area). I go to meet him and he says he'll meet me outside the building. I'm familiar with the area, but not too much with these specific buildings. I find him after a couple times up and down the block. He takes me up a little ramp, down a hallway, up a flight of concrete stairs, across a room with a bare toilet, up a half flight of stairs to this random landing and two rooms past the landing. I was FREAKED. Here I am going into some creepy darkish building with a man I've never met before.

The room had one of those vinyl couches that you'd see at a dr. office, a desk chair for him, and a little metal file case that he put his coffee on. TOTALLY bare. No laptop, no desk, NOTHING.

It was looking dicey. I was impressed with him when we talked because he seemed even better than my previous t, but seriously. I go home and google the crap out of him, and there is absolutely NO web presence except that he did a spot for a local radio station once and his former employer (a campus ministry).

I went back the next time after trying to confirm with my former friend that this guy is actually legit. She says she's been seeing him for two years.

Turns out, he moved into that new office THAT week - like two days before he first saw me. He does have a practice webpage but it doesn't show up in google. He is NOT licensed, but totally legit. He's not licensed because it allows him to work with people all over the world (missionaries and whatnot), but he has insurance and everything. I was able to verify him through some other channels (turns out he's a member of my church - it's a big church, found his practice #, talked to a couple people who knew him/his family), but yeah.

He's been WONDERFUL. Seriously.

But I had some serious concerns that first session.... What put me at ease though was that he was good. I could tell he's had training and a lot of experience.

That said - you HAVE to feel safe there. If it's giving you a seriously bad or scary vibe, get out!

ETA: not so short story - sorry guys

[eclogite]

Oh! One more time: I met with a T for a couple months for EMDR and mind-body therapy - the room we met in was I promise you, just a little bigger than my bathroom at home. It was decked out with plants and stuff, but she was the BEST. She really understood the physical body integration with the mind. But yeah, weird weird office.