[scallion5]

My therapist is continually doing one of two things:

1. He knows there's something important I want to talk about but he gets sidetracked on small details before we get there and runs down the clock; or

2. He goes along with what I talk about, but then at the end of the session he interjects what he thinks is important. This is often a very emotionally charging topic (i.e., trauma history stuff) and there's only 10-15 minutes left. Not enough time to process it at all.

In both cases, I get angry. In scenario 1, I feel I'm left "holding the bag," and unable to work through my emotions. In scenario 2, I similarly feel like I'm "holding the bag," and in this case it usually wasn't even something I wanted to talk about!

How do I help him change this? I've asked him before to reserve the last 10-15 minutes for "winding things down," rather than "stirring things up." He seems to just be really bad at time management.

I do try to wind things down. But then he'll toss a topic out of left field and it's like opening a door with a room full of monsters. Then he's off the hook and I"m left all weekend fighting them.

I'm livid. I am ready to quit over this. I don't really want to quit but it is so damaging. It makes it incredibly difficult to feel safe at all. It also makes me just really want to call him. I feel like if he breaks it he buys it, kind of. Like, if he opens it up, he needs to deal with it...but he refuses contact in between sessions.

I'm just...I dunno. wtf is he doing...???

[unlockingsanity]

Usually it's the opposite way with clients dropping last minute bombs, not therapists!

I'd try to explain to him again what you feel is happening and how it leaves you feeling. I'm not sure what else you can do other than try to explain it again.

[Bipolar Warrior]

That is frustrating and seems very unfair to you. You can try to talk to him about it again, but if he continues to do it and you experience it as damaging, I would consider finding a new therapist. I understand that seeing someone new can be difficult to think about, but if the alternative is feeling unsafe in your sessions, it might be the best thing for you to do.

[Favorite Jeans]

Whoa. When you're asking "how can I help my therapist change" things have gotten to a place where they should be paying you for your time.

[scallion5]

I found this article that kind of "gets" the problem:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...inical-session