Pdoc wants me to want to quit therapy.

I think that maybe you should quit this Pdoc. They are like a dime a dozen, and really if you think the meds you are on are working, why not have your GP provide them if this is causing you too much stress? If in the long run, you think you need a pdoc again, you can always find another.

I could see maybe reducing frequency of sessions but I dont understand quitting all of a sudden

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I logically don't understand. I'm not supposed to want to be in therapy anymore. I'm not supposed to need that support, right? Then why did my Pdoc make an appt for me in 2 weeks and then 2 weeks after that if we aren't doing any med changes? And my normal appt is 4 weeks apart not 2? So Pdoc is allowed to support me, but not T.

She thought my depression was reactive... it is now.

Did you ask/talk to your pdoc about this? What reasoning did she give?

I am a little confused - does she have the power to decide anything about your relationship with your therapist? And why would stopping therapy heal your BPD?

She seems a little flakey to me. Is it possible just to see her as someone who is giving you advice that you are free to evaluate and reject?

So, in other words, your pdoc was just mentioning this mostly as an opinion and something that might need to be considered. She wasn't dictating that you need make any decision or do anything at this moment. She may have a point, and it may be a point you should explore with your therapist, but it doesn't require any immediate action. Is it possible you just heard her opinion (which she told you to think on) and reacted by thinking you must make a decision right now (which is not what it sounds like she said in the end). You said your t plans to talk to your pdoc -- I would guess to give her an update and probably to advocate for your therapy.

Is it possible she's worried about you being hurt again?

I plan to be off meds before I quit therapy. I think the fact that I am on meds means that I need to see t. I know some people think that for some MI you need to be on meds for life, but for me and my diagnosis (DID) off meds is my goal. So pdoc won't be around to tell me that I need to stop seeing t.

Doubt it. We were talking about terminations with her, T, and ex-T. I told her that if she and T were up front with me about why termination was necessary and helped me the best they could through it, then I probably won't grieve the way I did with ex-T. So she said I need to learn how to cope with "muddy" endings like that. I told her maybe I should throw myself into a bunch of bad relationships to practice... Of course w/o support and the fact I still struggle to get out of the house means that therapy is still necessary.

I just don't think she cares about my feelings. It seems like she wants me to learn to get over (cope) with things. But I can't do that magically.

Pdoc said I'm probably a lifer when it comes to meds. I do see myself on meds longer than I see myself in therapy.

She could be hitting at something that's good for you - or wrong for you. It's your decision.

I would just say to keep in mind that therapy can be "addicting" and coming up with reasons to meet over and over just for the sake of continuing therapy can be a sign that you (both) are stalling.

If it were me, I'd consider taking a break or getting a second opinion.

My therapist told me endings will always hurt. I'm sensitive and I get attached to people, but what I need to do is learn not to obsess so much, self-harm and self-blame. She says saying goodbye to people always hurts her badly too, and that terminations are hard for her too. I think it sounds like your pdoc is trying to get you to handle termination like *she* would, not how a healthy version of yourself would. The former is, I think, much easier.

Also, even though she doesn't want you to care about *her* it sounds like your pdoc does care about you. Which is confusing.

Also, just by reading your posts, you are really not "well" yet. Maybe she thinks in your case therapy is making you worse, but to frame it in terms of you being doing well because you are not cutting seems kind of nuts to me. You are intimidated by relationships with anyone but your fiance, your life doesn't seem very engaged outside of hobbies and therapy, you are afraid to go out. These things don't all scream "better" at me but it also seems like maybe your therapist should be addressing them more aggressively in therapy. The depression/suicidality/SH are the most immediate "safety" issues, but they don't seem like the backbone or even the bulk of your issues in the first place. Having a life where you are safe from the fear of hurting yourself is not enough or in itself anywhere near enough to say you are "recovered," and I think anyone who implies that could be setting you up for a relapse.

I stopped cutting for years and acted fine in front of other people, I was terminated by the therapy program I was in and told I was "well." I clearly am not. The other stuff stayed the same, I found other maybe worse ways to harm myself, and then the self-injury and strong suicidality came back... They are just symptoms. To me, your upset over this suggests that they are just symptoms of something that is there for you too.

I'm not sure that therapy is always the answer or the best thing either though, for those of us with strong abandonment fears. I'm not sure what the answer is. How long are your appointments with your pdoc? Maybe she thinks you'll be better off longterm with less frequent support. Longterm therapy biweekly to try to reduce a dependency? I don't know.

I'm not totally clear on what Pdoc wants except for that she wants me to want to quit therapy. And that she thinks therapy should only last 12 sessions. Well, I don't want to quit therapy yet and I've seen my T weekly for a year now. And I believe that I still need therapy even if it's just for support.

I see my Pdoc usually every 4 weeks for 30 mins.

I emailed T last night because I was upset. She responded: "[Pdoc's] opinion isn't going to make me terminate with you any earlier." That relieves some of the anxiety.

Has your T spoken to your pdoc yet?

I think it's a little strange she thinks therapy should last only 12 sessions. For some people that might be great. But we are not cookie-cutter people. Why would 12 sessions work for everyone?

I had a therapist once who would only do 6 sessions with everyone. What I realized was that she would pick the goal so it was something that she could achieve in 6 sessions. It had very little to do with me, and everything to do with her own sensibilities. It was a waste of time and money for me. It's sad there are mental health professionals who think a fixed number of sessions in a brief course of therapy is the solution for everyone. Those kinds of people seem barely capable of understanding human realities.