[Schizoid_1]

I would ask my T to allow access to her notes in the next session and hope she would not deny me. Do you think it will be a good idea? Have you done it? I think her notes would be an unparalleled source of rich information. I would also like to discuss the notes and help clear doubts or clear miscommunication between us.

My Ts notes aren't terribly exciting. More like observations of what physically happened. e.g Good eye contact today,, arms crossed, facing towards windows, smiled occasionally, was quite irritable..from what i remember

[Argonautomobile]

Have not seen my notes or asked for them. I think that would be a disaster for me. I hope you find what you're looking for.

They were a big yawn, and a waste of my therapy time and money.

Yes, I've seen his notes. Nothing in them I didn't already know. No great detail. Quick notes to spark his memory, etc.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't want to see them.

[Ididitmyway]

She can't deny you access to your therapy records unless she believes it would have a detrimental effect on you. Whether it's a good idea or not is not for me to judge. If you feel you need it then you need it. You certainly have a right to do so.

I've seen my records from all my therapies. It was rather an upsetting experience to read them but a necessary one. It was an eye opener into what my therapists were doing.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

She can't deny you access to your therapy records unless she believes it would have a detrimental effect on you. Whether it's a good idea or not is not for me to judge. If you feel you need it then you need it. You certainly have a right to do so.

I've seen my records from all my therapies. It was rather an upsetting experience to read them but a necessary one. It was an eye opener into what my therapists were doing.

Were they all negative?

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

Were they all negative?

I am not sure "negative" would be the right word to describe them but there were objectifying me and the language was very detached, devoid of humanity, as if they were describing me not as a human being but as some creature under their observation with some problems that need to be "fixed". As a therapist myself, I understand that this is the language that fits nicely int the medical model therapists are supposed to follow, but I always found different ways of describing my clients in my notes.

Also, some of the things I read in those notes were just flat disrespectful, which opened my eyes to how they were really seeing me.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Ouch. I would not want to see mine.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

Ouch. I would not want to see mine.

Yeah, I know. It could be traumatizing.

IDIMY, did you find it useful as a therapist to read your own notes? I'm training to be a T and think it might be useful for that reason but I'm quite sensitive to how my therapist views me right now so I'm not sure it's the right time.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

IDIMY, did you find it useful as a therapist to read your own notes? I'm training to be a T and think it might be useful for that reason but I'm quite sensitive to how my therapist views me right now so I'm not sure it's the right time.

It was very useful in terms of seeing how they conceptualized my problems and how different it was from what they were telling me in sessions and how I was seeing it. It was also useful in terms of me understanding how I DON'T want to write notes, just like all other things I observed my Ts do were helpful in terms of what I did and didn't want to incorporate into my own practice.

This learning does come with the price though. If you decide to read your records be prepared for the possibility of finding something you wouldn't like, which might be emotionally disturbing.

Thank you. I have a very good therapist so I would like to think there would be nothing there that would deeply disturb me, and that he would be willing to discuss most of his thoughts about my process with me, however I understand it is a risk, and not to be taken lightly.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

Thank you. I have a very good therapist so I would like to think there would be nothing there that would deeply disturb me, and that he would be willing to discuss most of his thoughts about my process with me, however I understand it is a risk, and not to be taken lightly.

If you are on good terms with your therapist, looking at your notes won't be shocking, most likely. The chances are you'd find those notes boring with nothing interesting or significant in them.

My therapy was filled with conflicts and tension between me and my shrinks, hence my heightened sensitivity to what they wrote about me on one hand and genuinely disrespectful stuff they wrote on the other hand, which, I believe, they felt compelled to write as the way to express their anger towards me that they couldn't express directly to me because doing so would be unprofessional. Purely passive-aggressive ****.

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

If you are on good terms with your therapist, looking at your notes won't be shocking, most likely. The chances are you'd find those notes boring with nothing interesting or significant in them.

My therapy was filled with conflicts and tension between me and my shrinks, hence my heightened sensitivity to what they wrote about me on one hand and genuinely disrespectful stuff they wrote on the other hand, which, I believe, they felt compelled to write as the way to express their anger towards me that they couldn't express directly to me because doing so would be unprofessional. Purely passive-aggressive ****.

It would have been very interesting to read my notes from my first therapist. He once wrote a kind of journal of his work with me where he compared me to an iceberg and questioned whether if he got too close I would rip a hole in his side and make him sink to the bottom of the ocean (his words).
If that's what he wrote to give me, who knows what he wrote in my notes.

[Myrto]

I've asked to see them and my therapist flat out refused. She got upset actually. I'm a control freak so I would like to see what she writes every session. But I can't. Now I ask what she's writing and she answers, although vaguely.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Myrto

I've asked to see them and my therapist flat out refused. She got upset actually. I'm a control freak so I would like to see what she writes every session. But I can't. Now I ask what she's writing and she answers, although vaguely.

Depending on the laws where you live, it can be illegal to refuse. I know that in Canada we have the right to our notes. They can make it a huge pain in the *** for you though. I went to a treatment centre once where someone wanted to read her notes and the therapist and supervisor made a huge deal of trying to refuse legally by saying that it woukd be detrimental to her mental health. They lost, but they were right, it was really bad for her.

[MobiusPsyche]

I have and i agree with others who said they were boring, nothing I didn't already know, etc. They are mostly just observations of my behavior, no interpretations about what my behavior meant (which was what I was hoping to see... A glimpse into my t's thought process.)

Sent from my mobile device using Tapatalk.

[junkDNA]

i had to get my notes from my former T for the lawsuit. i read like one of them and was like ok im done. his were pretty detailed. they prob got more and more sparse as the therapy sessions became more about having sex.

my current T keeps vague notes just for billing purposes

My therapist photocopies her notes and gives them to me with instructions to read. Also, at the end of each session we discuss what conversation she will have with my pdoc and my comfort level. Conversely, during our sessions she advises me about conversation she has had with my pdoc and his own input on what we should add to our weekly agenda. Some of what I read in the notes makes me feel uncomfortable but generally it is eye opening and I get a great insight into my health.

[nottrustin]

She has somewhat seen them. A couple of times we have discussed her notes. For anybody not in the room they would make no sense. She randomly puts on a page key works from our session...at our last session we discussed her notes. She opened her folder to a random page from last year. It said things like (my sons name) in trouble at school no extra curricular activities, (daughter) roommate troubles, etc.

Before we took our longest break a couple years ago, I did ask her what was in them. She read some to me (we were doing phone sessions at the time) and they were pretty boring. I don't know how she remembers the things she remembers!

[Gettingitsoon]

Interesting thread.
I wouldn't want to read my t's notes, I'm sure I'd see things I'd later want to UN-see and be unable to. Head in the sand, I suppose. I guess I get enough feedback directly, I don't want any more.

And, my t claims she doesn't keep notes! Not sure I buy it.
I don't know....how does she even remember details of her patients lives? She does seem to....

[Waterbear]

My Old T never took a single note though how much was done behind the scenes I will never know. I don't think I would want to read them even if she did keep them.

New T did take some notes last session and she nay continue to, she has said I am free to read at any time, though again, not sure I would want to.

I prefer a T not to take notes but purely because I felt that with Old T she was always present and the one time I truly looked her in the eyes she was there, just sitting and looking, caring. If she had been writing that would never have happened.