Have you seen your therapist's notes?

Oh My G-D.

My T recently told me she never takes notes...and she remembers EVERYTHING.

I know, right? I actually feel really validated by your reaction because my current T barely blinked when I told him that, but I found the analogy really hurtful.

What very poetic words from your therapist! A bit dramatic and haunting, but the words imply that you have a lot of pull and power over him. Amazing he shared this with you but I totally understand your reaction.

I'm not sure I could handle my therapist's notes. Maybe if they were filtered to exclude anything she wouldn't say to my face...

There was a lot more too, about me being an alluring butterfly and whether he was wanting to catch the specimen in his huge net and so on. I showed the whole thing to my T and he just said it was a thoughtful piece of reflective writing. I was more in shock and confusion about his feelings for me.

I'm more in line with your therapist's POV and would be glad to evoke strong feelings from my therapist. It's caring in a complicated sense. I'm actually a little envious and I hope that doesn't feel invalidating.

I am deeply afraid of getting my therapist's notes and having the words read as cold, clinical, detached and incongruent to our work together.

It's a tough one because in one sense I did like it, and that part of me still misses him. I know I evoked strong feelings in him and he recently contacted me out of the blue which again brought about very mixed feelings for me, but his inconsistency hurt me, and that was because he didn't have a handle on his feelings. I suppose I see what he wrote as something that should never have been shared with me because it formed part of an unhealthy pattern of push-pull relating between us.

I saw her notes from my intake but they were all a summary of my history, so nothing major. At this point, 18 months later, I think that seeing them would be detrimental to me. We had a big rupture and now that it's behind us I wouldn't want to see what she was thinking while it was going on. I definitely think that it would be a huge step back for me although I am curious...

I might ask her if she keeps notes next session and what types of things she writes. I'm also going to ask if I'd be allowed to read it, but I just want to know if I could...I don't think that I would actually read them though. Too much of a chance of feeling hurt....

Oh lord. If my T said any of this to me, I would 100% roll my eyes at her and tell her to stop being ridiculous.

Your T can deny you access if it's part of her policy. You do have a legal right to them however, so you can push if she refuses and even subpoena them. That said, most therapists notes are usually contain only factual information and not opinions. It's possible may have another set of notes, but if they are not part of your file she does not need to give them to you. So I'd ask to see them but I wouldn't expect to read anything you haven't already heard or talked about.

I'd love to see my therapist's notes on me. How exciting!!

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All of my t's notes are simply a summary of what I have said. They do not include any of their own opinions or thoughts about what has gone on. This is true of all 3 of the t's I now see. Since notes can be subpoenaed I would imagine that most ts operate this way. Only things that the t would be ok with being allowed into court are in the notes.

My new guy has told me that he will not take notes if I don't want him to and that I can look at any of his notes. He has told me I can ask at any time what he's writing down. I take him up on that quite a few times - usually when I can't imagine what he'd be writing down! He's very transparent.

It's always something boring. It's little notes to himself of ideas that pop in his mind and records of different types of concepts we've talked through.

Yes, boring. Intriguing because they're hidden from us, but boring. Try asking your T what she's writing in the moment!

Oh yeah! It's also weird because the notes talk about you - like "E is avoiding contact today. E sent me an email sharing details about such-and-such - refer to that."

It does seem depersonalizing, but it's just because it's a record.

In the US it's illegal for a therapist to refuse a patient access to their records. I am glad we have patient's right to see their clinical records secured legislatively.

I am requesting all of my notes from my therapist and I am pretty anxious to read them.

I am extremely curious and would love to see what mine say, but I know it is better for me not to read them.

I know there have been times that I've asked for certain parts of our conversation to be left out of his notes and he says ok. Now I'm curious about my emails. I wonder if they all end up in my file?

life is a beautiful lie

You have the right to access your files... but was there a form you signed at the place ? Even though, you do have the rights to them. HIPAA

my therapist wrote down words, then probably took 10 minutes after session putting those words into notes, that's what I do with my patients..but I'm no therapist or pdoc

My pdoc probably puts in maybe 2 sentences about my meds and answers yes or no to required questions relating to my dx I know what I'm diagnosed with though, MDD and social anxiety.. since I m also a worker, and a patient.. I am scared to tell them everything :-( but I'm paranoid that certain info will have a future effect on my license and child, etc. but pls don't distrust them, they are supposed to truly want to help you