Consistently Late-Need Opinions

Would it begin to bother you if your therapist was always 10-15 minutes late for appointments? Particularly if you knew that he/she was not with a client before your appointment, but just arriving late for whatever excuse that he/she has that day? My therapist has also canceled last minute (within an hour or two of appointment time) at least 3 times in the last several months. Some days I really feel like I needed that appointment (having a rough week, etc), and I am beginning to take this personally. I am losing trust, and I feel like the therapist doesn't respect my time. I also feel to an extent she might not like me...but I probably am personalizing this too much. Would like some opinions on what others would do in this case? Why am I afraid of confronting this behavior? (I haven't addressed it yet in session)

I would take it very poorly. I wouldn't feel like my time and effort were being respected, and T would definitely hear about it.

Can you send an email, so you can craft what you want to say on your own time?

It would not bother me personally unless my appointment time were lengthened 10-15 minutes at the end, so our total time wasn't cut short. If it was cut short and my bill were not prorated it would bother me. Admittedly I have some trouble with punctuality in general so I think that's why it would not bother me.

At the end of the day, however, it IS unprofessional and I can understand why someone would terminate soley on those grounds.

I wouldn't return to a therapist who did this more than once.

I'm always punctual so I expect my therapist/doctors to be the same.

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That would drive me nuts. You should consider bringing it up with your T.

It would not be OK for me. Whether or not there is a client session beforehand, it reflects an inability to properly manage the frame of therapy, so it's a problem that I think isn't only about time management. I guess if I liked the therapist otherwise, I would bring it up, express my feelings about it, and ask for a direct response about whether the behavior was likely to continue. If so, I'd have to either become OK with it, or leave.

I doubt that it has anything to do with any feelings the therapist has about you personally, but it's understandable that it would make you wonder about that--one of the reasons such behavior isn't just about time.

If it was rare and was because a client before me was having an emergency it wouldnt bother me. You said it wasnt that though and happening on a consistant basis. I'd probably mention it once and if it happened again would find a new therapist.

my T was the clinical director of the treatment program i was in. he was super busy all the time hence he was late a lot. i pretty much just told him that i thought it was disrespectful. it kept happening though, so i realized it was his job making him late and not him lollygagging around. after we both left that place he has been so much better abt punctuality.

i would just express how it makes you feel and maybe even the part about how you take it personally. i think that is natural to feel that way.

Does your therapist extend your sessions to make up for the time? If not, I'd definitely be bothered by it. (My T is very prompt, but my marriage counselor is often late.) As for the cancelling last minute a few times in the last few months--that makes me think maybe something is going on in the T's personal life, like emergency-type stuff. Or maybe that the T herself is having some sort of health issue and is cancelling because she's not feeling well?

I'd definitely bring it up. If you have trouble talking about it, maybe send an e-mail or type it out and hand it to her at the start of a session. I doubt it's anything personal--she might just be really bad at time management. (I'm someone who is also bad at that and often run late, so I'm more understanding of that in others.) Are you the first appointment of the day? First after lunch? (Just guessing because you said no client before you.) If so, maybe try switching appointment times, if that's possible in your schedule.

Once in a while, fine, stuff happens, but all the time? No way. I would not be okay with that. You should bring it up with her.

My T is always late, usually by 15-25 minutes. She always makes up the time though, and sometimes even goes over time. If she didn't make up the time, I'd be upset. When I first started with her I also worried she didn't like me. She reassured me she's just late for everything all the time and that it wasn't personal. I think you should talk to your T about this. My T has also rescheduled appointments very last minute, and it used to bother me, especially when I really wanted to see her. I don't think this is anything personal against you, but you should definitely talk to her about how it makes you feel.

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My T is always late by 10 to 15 minutes. I mentioned it when it first started happening and she said that clients run over and the time adds up. She always makes sure I have my full hour so it doesn't bother me.

One of my ts is consistently 20 or more minutes late. I am her first appointment of the day and my appointment is at 1:30. I figure I have the choice to put up with the lateness or find a new t. I choose to stick w her because she specializes in my MI and there are not a lot of others in my area. And I like what she does. I have definitely improved since I started seeing her. She has a waiting list and is not taking new patients, so apparently there are a lot of other people who are making the same choice.

It's important for me to not take it personally, fortunately that is not hard. And she does go for a full hour and often runs over.

I am a bit obsessive about being punctual to appointments and really don't like if people are habitually late. It would not only bother me but would be a deal breaker if a therapist was repeatedly late, I would perceive it as poor professionalism and lack of respect. If someone chooses a profession that involves working with set time windows, I think they should then make the best effort to keep them intact. Being busy is not a good excuse about not respecting other people's time.

One of my therapists was always late. He was generous with his time so it never bothered me. He always went over for me as well. He never had more than 2 clients back to back without a break so it didn't cause any more knock-on problems. I never minded waiting.

But rescheduling at the last minute I would not be able to tolerate.

My therapist always started his session about 10 minutes after the hour and ended on the hour. I didn't really consider that starting late when I realized that was just the way he utilized his time. Sessions were full length, so it didn't bother me. I choose not to be too hung up on time in areas of my life where I have the flexibilty because as a teacher my life is literally run by a clock the rest of my day. I kind of like not even looking at a clock after I leave work.

Now the last minute cancellations would grate on my nerves.

You have to know what you are comfortable with, discuss your concerns with your therapist, and if things don't improve to a place that feels more secure, then finding another therapist is an option.

If the full time I was paying for was observed, I would not worry about it. I would probably note it and indicate because of it I would start coming later to match the true start time. But I don't go early and wait for either of the ones I see. I go in right on time and they are ready.

My t is always late.. Generally 20mins late though he has been later. Hr always makes the tune up. We have talked about it a lot, but it never really changes.

If it bothers you, you should talk to your t. Especially about the last min. Cancellations.

My T is usually late, but we often go over time - sessions are usually between 60 and 90 minutes - so I don't really mind.

Mine is very rarely late, but it wouldn't bother me because she goes over a lot, plus I don't pay for therapy.

However, a long time ago (I think I was 19), I saw a therapist who was constantly late, 20+ minutes and I would have to wait in the hallway of the building. She would also do things like cancel sessions to volunteer in the library at her kids' school. Now I think about it, it was super unprofessional and I think that it can send a message that you don't matter. I have such strong abandonment fears that the problem with me was the constant fear she just wouldn't show up.

Punctuality is important. My time on the other side of that appointment window is valuable time. I'd have no room to pick up my children in time, which could pose a huge problem for me as far as the schools and potentially child services.

So, no I wouldn't find regular tardiness acceptable, whatsoever. And wouldn't appreciate being billed for more minutes than what is being given.

I'd speak up, then start shopping around. Is there someone that your T is held accountable to? That's always an option.