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New Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3
8 |
#1
Would it begin to bother you if your therapist was always 10-15 minutes late for appointments? Particularly if you knew that he/she was not with a client before your appointment, but just arriving late for whatever excuse that he/she has that day? My therapist has also canceled last minute (within an hour or two of appointment time) at least 3 times in the last several months. Some days I really feel like I needed that appointment (having a rough week, etc), and I am beginning to take this personally. I am losing trust, and I feel like the therapist doesn't respect my time. I also feel to an extent she might not like me...but I probably am personalizing this too much. Would like some opinions on what others would do in this case? Why am I afraid of confronting this behavior? (I haven't addressed it yet in session)
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Member
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 321
10 136 hugs
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#2
I would take it very poorly. I wouldn't feel like my time and effort were being respected, and T would definitely hear about it.
Can you send an email, so you can craft what you want to say on your own time? |
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![]() AncientMelody
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 901
9 274 hugs
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#3
It would not bother me personally unless my appointment time were lengthened 10-15 minutes at the end, so our total time wasn't cut short. If it was cut short and my bill were not prorated it would bother me. Admittedly I have some trouble with punctuality in general so I think that's why it would not bother me.
At the end of the day, however, it IS unprofessional and I can understand why someone would terminate soley on those grounds. |
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![]() UnderRugSwept
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#4
I wouldn't return to a therapist who did this more than once.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,619
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#5
I'm always punctual so I expect my therapist/doctors to be the same.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
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Junior Member
Member Since Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 20
8 84 hugs
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#6
That would drive me nuts. You should consider bringing it up with your T.
__________________ - Veronica MDD, GAD, ADD, SAD, OCD. Pristiq, Abilify, Buspar. Previous: Mydayis, Trintellix, Strattera, Wellbutrin, Celexa, Cymbalta, Vyvanse, Adderall, Prozac, Zoloft. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: yada
Posts: 4,415
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#7
It would not be OK for me. Whether or not there is a client session beforehand, it reflects an inability to properly manage the frame of therapy, so it's a problem that I think isn't only about time management. I guess if I liked the therapist otherwise, I would bring it up, express my feelings about it, and ask for a direct response about whether the behavior was likely to continue. If so, I'd have to either become OK with it, or leave.
I doubt that it has anything to do with any feelings the therapist has about you personally, but it's understandable that it would make you wonder about that--one of the reasons such behavior isn't just about time. |
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![]() AncientMelody, UnderRugSwept
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Member
Member Since Nov 2004
Posts: 100
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#8
If it was rare and was because a client before me was having an emergency it wouldnt bother me. You said it wasnt that though and happening on a consistant basis. I'd probably mention it once and if it happened again would find a new therapist.
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,304
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#9
my T was the clinical director of the treatment program i was in. he was super busy all the time hence he was late a lot. i pretty much just told him that i thought it was disrespectful. it kept happening though, so i realized it was his job making him late and not him lollygagging around. after we both left that place he has been so much better abt punctuality.
i would just express how it makes you feel and maybe even the part about how you take it personally. i think that is natural to feel that way. __________________ ![]() |
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,434
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#10
Does your therapist extend your sessions to make up for the time? If not, I'd definitely be bothered by it. (My T is very prompt, but my marriage counselor is often late.) As for the cancelling last minute a few times in the last few months--that makes me think maybe something is going on in the T's personal life, like emergency-type stuff. Or maybe that the T herself is having some sort of health issue and is cancelling because she's not feeling well?
I'd definitely bring it up. If you have trouble talking about it, maybe send an e-mail or type it out and hand it to her at the start of a session. I doubt it's anything personal--she might just be really bad at time management. (I'm someone who is also bad at that and often run late, so I'm more understanding of that in others.) Are you the first appointment of the day? First after lunch? (Just guessing because you said no client before you.) If so, maybe try switching appointment times, if that's possible in your schedule. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,394
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#11
Once in a while, fine, stuff happens, but all the time? No way. I would not be okay with that. You should bring it up with her.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 669
8 194 hugs
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#12
My T is always late, usually by 15-25 minutes. She always makes up the time though, and sometimes even goes over time. If she didn't make up the time, I'd be upset. When I first started with her I also worried she didn't like me. She reassured me she's just late for everything all the time and that it wasn't personal. I think you should talk to your T about this. My T has also rescheduled appointments very last minute, and it used to bother me, especially when I really wanted to see her. I don't think this is anything personal against you, but you should definitely talk to her about how it makes you feel.
Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk __________________ "The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed." |
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![]() LonesomeTonight
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,677
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#13
My T is always late by 10 to 15 minutes. I mentioned it when it first started happening and she said that clients run over and the time adds up. She always makes sure I have my full hour so it doesn't bother me.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,052
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#14
One of my ts is consistently 20 or more minutes late. I am her first appointment of the day and my appointment is at 1:30. I figure I have the choice to put up with the lateness or find a new t. I choose to stick w her because she specializes in my MI and there are not a lot of others in my area. And I like what she does. I have definitely improved since I started seeing her. She has a waiting list and is not taking new patients, so apparently there are a lot of other people who are making the same choice.
It's important for me to not take it personally, fortunately that is not hard. And she does go for a full hour and often runs over. |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#15
I am a bit obsessive about being punctual to appointments and really don't like if people are habitually late. It would not only bother me but would be a deal breaker if a therapist was repeatedly late, I would perceive it as poor professionalism and lack of respect. If someone chooses a profession that involves working with set time windows, I think they should then make the best effort to keep them intact. Being busy is not a good excuse about not respecting other people's time.
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![]() Myrto, Piickles
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2013
Location: US
Posts: 1,030
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#16
One of my therapists was always late. He was generous with his time so it never bothered me. He always went over for me as well. He never had more than 2 clients back to back without a break so it didn't cause any more knock-on problems. I never minded waiting.
But rescheduling at the last minute I would not be able to tolerate. |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#17
My therapist always started his session about 10 minutes after the hour and ended on the hour. I didn't really consider that starting late when I realized that was just the way he utilized his time. Sessions were full length, so it didn't bother me. I choose not to be too hung up on time in areas of my life where I have the flexibilty because as a teacher my life is literally run by a clock the rest of my day. I kind of like not even looking at a clock after I leave work.
Now the last minute cancellations would grate on my nerves. You have to know what you are comfortable with, discuss your concerns with your therapist, and if things don't improve to a place that feels more secure, then finding another therapist is an option. |
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,979
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#18
If the full time I was paying for was observed, I would not worry about it. I would probably note it and indicate because of it I would start coming later to match the true start time. But I don't go early and wait for either of the ones I see. I go in right on time and they are ready.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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![]() AncientMelody
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Young Butterfly
Member Since Jan 2012
Posts: 7,574
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#19
My t is always late.. Generally 20mins late though he has been later. Hr always makes the tune up. We have talked about it a lot, but it never really changes.
If it bothers you, you should talk to your t. Especially about the last min. Cancellations. __________________ "You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#20
My T is usually late, but we often go over time - sessions are usually between 60 and 90 minutes - so I don't really mind.
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