The Couch - CXII : The Tao of Couchies

I agree a grown competent adult should be able to handle an appointment on his own, but I am wondering if he thinks because he went to the dentist appointment with Art, that she will go with him? Also, it can be some people might want someone else to hear how to use the device because they are nervous they won't remember. I do agree he should be able to go alone, but I also think it might not be as nothing of a big deal thing for him as some here might suggest it is. I don't think Art need feel guilty nor go to great lengths to accommodate him - just that it might be that her presence is reassuring to him for doing something that calls up the aging and decline in body integrity that he might be finding difficult.

Art's dentist appointment is an emergency - she's in pain and he is trying to make her feel guilty enough to cancel it so she can go with him to his routine appointment. Sorry Stopdog, no sympathy for him here.
Your bff's is an entirely different situation.

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I agree Art has nothing to feel guilty for and should not change her plans to accommodate him -but I do believe that does not mean one cannot have some understanding for his situation too. I just don't think the only conclusion is that he is just a total jerk.

But Art fully intended to go with him, it's just that now she has an emergency to deal with. And if she can't easily get more time off work, it seems to me everyone just needs to roll with it.

I admit I may be biased as I have dealt with audiologists and otolaryngologists since I was born, so to me such appointments are not a big deal. They are in fact among the easiest medical things I have ever had to deal with.

I agree. My spouse and I go with each other to major appointments ( if one of us is having surgery, etc) and appointments that could just suck ( my shoulder injections, etc) if we can. But the only time I would consider it vital would be a new serious diagnosis or the immediate pre surgical appointment.. Did he say why he wanted you to come? Does he need your opinion on something?

Well, I admit I don't understand the idea of it - I don't want anyone with me at all. So there is that.

I agree with this - I just thought it was not necessary to attribute bad motive to the husband for him saying he did not want to do his thing without her.

I tend to think men are wussy babies when it comes to these sort of things, so I also have no sympathy

I am just all whiny and in pain that's all it is. I appreciate the support though. I am probably misreading his motive and misreading how he seems to be acting put out like i did this on purpose. I'm probably misreading the whole thing because my mouth hurts like the devil. But i love the support here . thank you.

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I hope they fix you up quickly and easily and get the pain taken care of.
And if possible, just ignore your husband without taking his actions personally.

I did not know this:
Dry sockets are rare and occur in 5% of all tooth extractions.
Studies have shown that women are more likely than men to develop a dry socket, which could be due to menstrual cycles and estrogen levels.
Dry Socket: What It Is And How to Heal

I'm not saying he's a jerk, but I do think he is *acting* like a jerk in this instance. What he's doing is unfair, in my opinion.

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Which is why he needs to be more supportive. We're all a bit off when we're in pain and we need the understanding of those close to us. I mean, if he was the one in pain would you be insisting that he suck it up and come to your appointment instead of his own?


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I'm sorry I haven't responded to those people who were supportive of me earlier. I just don't have a lot of words right now. T again today. I experience much the same as BY mentioned in her post earlier. Next week I only get one session due to stupid Ascension stupid four-day weekend. Which is stupid.

This whole hearing aid conversation has reminded me of what I do hate about going to an audiologist - the standard hearing tests have not changed in at least 35 years. It's still "raise your hand/press a buzzer when you hear the tone" and still "repeat back these disyllabic words to me," like hot dog, cupcake, airplane.

They should at least update the words for adults - "say the word mortgage," "say the word glassbowl," etc.

At the dentist now waiting for them to squeeze me in. My mouth hurts so much i can't focus on anything else. If the pain doesn't go away by tomorrow I'm calling in sick.

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Oestrogen has been the bane of my life. Always way too much or way too little.

Hugs for crocus and art. Hello Couchies!

Hey couch. Well I'm home from the dentist and feeling HUGE relief. It is dry socket as suspected. He pushed this pasty brown stuff that smells like cloves down into the hole, which hurt like holy hell while he was doing it, but almost immediately it began feeling better. Right now, it's a minor dull throbbing which I can definitely live with. If it feels this good tomorrow morning, I don't think I'll even need the ibuprofen anymore. What a relief. I'm so glad I went. He said it would have eventually healed on its own but it would have continued to be very painful.

I tried to describe to him how much it hurt by saying "Remember how scared I was last week getting the tooth pulled? I'm happy to be here today. I am not scared at all. It hurts so much that I am happy to see you." I tried to laugh, but couldn't.

Whew! I guess this clove oil stuff really works. I wonder why! IF it helps pain that much, why doesn't everyone use it all the time?

I am glad you feel better

It's got eugenol in it. Natural anesthetic.

I like the smell of cloves, but clove oil can really get overpowering. Kind of like vinegar's great for cleaning, but you wouldn't want the house to smell of it.

Different pain meds work better for different issues - like ibuprofen for muscle pain, Tylenol for headaches, etc. For whatever reason, clove works really well for mouth pain. Don't know the mechanism, but it does. It feels exactly like getting your gums numbed if you accidentally get it on your lip (as I've done a few times...) You can buy the oil and use it as a topical pain reliever if you like, but other things tend to work better... Like menthol stuff...

Glad the tooth is taken care of Art

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Thanks y'all!

I suspect because it tastes horrible. Before I had all my extractions and implants done I basically had constant abscesses and toothaches. One was so bad that I pulled my own tooth because it was Saturday afternoon. That's major pain, when you yank out your own tooth and its BETTER.
I used a lot of clove oil packing. If it gets on your tongue its so nasty that it used to make me throw up. It worked really really well but its just horrible stuff.

Today I feel like I wished I had killed myself all the times I threatened in the past.