[The_little_didgee]

Content warning: Some people may find my post offensive.


What I have always suspected has been confirmed.

I have been reading some of my medical records from 20 years ago to understand how I got misdiagnosed. It has been very helpful but painful at times. The list of diagnoses from DSM - III don't bother me at all, because they are wrong. What really bothers me is the inaccurate family and social history and what was withheld from me. There is also evidence of stereotyping based on ethnicity. They wrote I had an alcoholic father and came from a broken home filled with abuse. One notes states I was sexually assaulted. None of this is true. I cannot believe they would write this without verifying any of it. Perhaps I was mixed up with another patient, but I highly doubt it. I suspect this was done to support the PD diagnosis and to justify treating me like a disease that had to be extirpated.

I have realized my feelings, which they told me were wrong, were justified. My feelings were real, not wrong. They were the ones who were wrong. I was told, I was a terrible, evil person who had nothing to offer but chaos, and danger to any psychotherapist/psychiatrist who met me. I was assumed to be promiscuous, an alcoholic, eating disordered, and so on, all to fit the PD diagnosis. None of that was true. My adolescent issues were from bullying and ASD which wasn't diagnosed until years later.

Eventually I quit seeing psychiatrists and decided to recover on my own. As I read my records I couldn't help but think was my experience really necessary? Did they really have to diagnose me with a PD and then treat me like the plague? Why couldn't they question, observe and listen? I really need to get past this. Right now I'm livid and so is my family.

I should point out about 5 years after this horrible experience I developed psychosis. The clinicians treated me a lot different. Suddenly I was worthy of their help. Where the hell were they in the 1990s?

The point of my post:

Psychiatrists/psychotherapists are not gods. They can do great harm. The over emphasis of certain psychotherapy theories (blame parents, especially mothers) and alienating diagnoses makes me wonder. Be very careful with them, they can really try to break you.

I agree with you. I'm so sorry for what they put you through. There is so much emphasis on labels, and nearly not a lot on what clients are experiencing that impedes there lives. Sometimes desperate people, the clinicians, do stupid things to fit into their chosen system.

I am so grateful for finally having found a therapist that rails against the system as usual.

I agree. I am sorry for what you were put through.

I worked in a psychiatric hospital and was appalled at what was put in patients' charts and how the professionals would talk about the patients. It was really discouraging and depressing.

[Mondayschild]

When I was 12, I was having horrible cramping that ended up being due to cysts on my ovaries. The first doctor I saw did an exam and asked me if I was sexuallu active. I told her no, which was the truth as I understood it. I had been sexually abused as a young girl but I didn't understand the question in that way at age 12. So instead of asking me further or probing the issue, she tells me I'm lying because my hymen isn't intact. She then tells my parents that I'm having pain because I'm having sex. She writes that in my chart and nothing further is done.

Fast forward a month, horrible pain again and as we get to the er, I pass out. A very large cyst had ruptured and I was hospitalized for a week and was lucky that it didn't cause internal bleeding or damage. Had the doctor I saw ordered an ultrasound and did her job instead of focusing on what she perceived were lies, it could've been prevented.

After that I was horribly distrustful of anyone in the medical profession.

#Life is a beautiful lie#

I have been trying to argue my BPD diagnosis since I got it, nearly four years ago. No one ever listens though. They see self harm and that's their go to diagnosis. Nevermind that I don't have any of the other traits. The pdoc who diagnosed me is the worst I have met so far, I have hated her from day one. She just knows how to wind me up. Thankfully she no longer works with my mental health team meaning I can avoid her for the most part. Occasionally I am sent to the hospital she now works at...that's always fun. My last admission she told me I should go to an inpatient PD unit for 2 years...

Luckily I got transferred to my normal hospital after a week with her. And finally found a pdoc who listened to me and could see for herself that I did not meet enough of the criteria for a BPD diagnosis. Now I'm back home it's a case of trying to get my community team to see that too. It has now been put in my care plan for a reassessment with my current pdoc to take place. Hopefully that can finally put an end to it.

[PinkFlamingo99]

The way they treat people often, especially those with certain diagnoses, is disgusting. A few weeks ago I had an ER doctor tell me I was wasting his time when I went in for stitches (sent against my will in a medical transport) for really severe self-harm. I did't choose to go and would not have gone if I wasn't forced, but he still acted like I was there because I was attention-seeking or something.

I think this happens a lot, and I think in particular it happens with people diagnosed with BPD. I haven't officially had this diagnosis (just "traits") in a really long time, but I still get really freaked out if I have an evaluation that it's going to be put on me again. I'm absolutely terrified of the stigma surrounding this diagnlsis and when I was younger was traumatized so much by experiences at the ER for self-harm that I'll only go if I'm forced.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by HalloweenSkye

I have been trying to argue my BPD diagnosis since I got it, nearly four years ago. No one ever listens though. They see self harm and that's their go to diagnosis. Nevermind that I don't have any of the other traits. The pdoc who diagnosed me is the worst I have met so far, I have hated her from day one. She just knows how to wind me up. Thankfully she no longer works with my mental health team meaning I can avoid her for the most part. Occasionally I am sent to the hospital she now works at...that's always fun. My last admission she told me I should go to an inpatient PD unit for 2 years...

Luckily I got transferred to my normal hospital after a week with her. And finally found a pdoc who listened to me and could see for herself that I did not meet enough of the criteria for a BPD diagnosis. Now I'm back home it's a case of trying to get my community team to see that too. It has now been put in my care plan for a reassessment with my current pdoc to take place. Hopefully that can finally put an end to it.

I'm so sorry you went through this. And yes, I think this is a huge issue with the BPD diagnosis. If you are female, if you SH, you are almost automatically pigeonholed into this diagnosis and they assume all the other traits apply too. Oddly enough, I am being treated in a 3x a week outpatient program specifically for BPD (even though it's no longerydiagnosis, I needed somewhere that coukd handle my bad SH) and they are the first ones who acknowledged that I don't have the other traits and saw me as a human instead of looking for things that aren't there.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Psychiatrists/psychotherapists are not gods. They can do great harm. The over emphasis of certain psychotherapy theories (blame parents, especially mothers) and alienating diagnoses makes me wonder. Be very careful with them, they can really try to break you.
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Yes absolutely agree. And they don't even have to try to break you it seems. Can happen just because they are applying theories and ideologies without awareness or without skill.

I think psychotherapy, psychiatry, and conventional medicine all have pronounced cultic aspects, in that people just do not question the orthodoxies, and the practitioners wield far too much power over individuals and the whole culture.

My take is that every mental health diagnosis should be viewed with skepticism at least, and in many cases should be be rejected outright by the patient.

Sorry you went thru that.

A good book to read:

Manufacturing Victims: What the Psychology Industry Is Doing to People: Tana Dineen: 9781552070123: Amazon.com: Books

It is SO important that if a diagnosis is given, it not be given hastily. So often I read here on PC posts from people pushing for a quick diagnosis and frustrated when they have a therapist or a pdoc who is not ready to give them one quite yet, when the reality is that a doctor or therapist who takes their time to work with a patient, who perhaps refers for further testing (medical and psychological) or a second opinion, is really more likely to be the one who is taking greater care to not jump to a quick diagnosis and to be more careful about the accuracy of what can be a very subjective diagnosis decision, and their approach to treatment is probably also more thought out and careful.

One of the most important criteria I have in choosing doctors is finding one who is willing to take diagnosis more slowly and carefully, willing to admit they think it is "a", but they are still considering "b". I'm not just talking about psychiatric diagnosis here, but also medical diagnosis. I have a great deal more confidence in a doctor who displays that kind of educated doubt and educated analytical thinking than one who jumps very quickly to a diagnosis based on very little knowledge, particularly when the diagnosis is something that isn't clear cut; they don't lack knowledge, but rather, they have the knowledge to discern that more than one cause or treatment may be at play and are willing and able to explain their thinking process to me.

[BudFox]

In the below vid from psychiatrist and noted trauma specialist Bessel van der Kolk, what he says at 21:15 is a breath of fresh air on the subject of diagnoses, etc. Click the link and it will start there...

Diagnosing is all about money and pharma and not about the person at all. It's disgusting.

Sent from my XT1565 using Tapatalk

[musinglizzy]

Can psychologists diagnose, or just Pdocs? I have one, but don't have a pdoc.

I don't know if I'd be able to stomach reading my records like you did, but I think if I did, and there was extremely inaccurate information in them, I'd be fighting.

None of my Ts are interested in diagnosing. Except for PTSD....

[The_little_didgee]

Thank you for all the replies.

I started this thread, because I know this has happened to others. I've read stories about parents losing their daughters to psychiatry. They certainly tried to distance me from my family, by telling me I was abused, because they didn't understand my "symptoms". I nearly fell for it, because I was so desperate to understand why I had social issues. It is hard to forgive myself for that and nourishing their suspicions. When I left in the very late 1990s, I vowed never to let that ever happen again.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

Can psychologists diagnose, or just Pdocs? I have one, but don't have a pdoc.

I don't know if I'd be able to stomach reading my records like you did, but I think if I did, and there was extremely inaccurate information in them, I'd be fighting.

None of my Ts are interested in diagnosing. Except for PTSD....

Usually phd level clinical psychologists and pdocs

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

The way they treat people often, especially those with certain diagnoses, is disgusting. A few weeks ago I had an ER doctor tell me I was wasting his time when I went in for stitches (sent against my will in a medical transport) for really severe self-harm. I did't choose to go and would not have gone if I wasn't forced, but he still acted like I was there because I was attention-seeking or something.

I think this happens a lot, and I think in particular it happens with people diagnosed with BPD. I haven't officially had this diagnosis (just "traits") in a really long time, but I still get really freaked out if I have an evaluation that it's going to be put on me again. I'm absolutely terrified of the stigma surrounding this diagnlsis and when I was younger was traumatized so much by experiences at the ER for self-harm that I'll only go if I'm forced.

A few times ED doctors have projected their frustrations on me.

I know what you mean. I've been through it when I experimented with self-injury in my late teens. It was humiliating. Self-injury was the only way they would listen, because the PD diagnosis prevented them from listening and taking me seriously. I felt very conflicted and horrible about having to reach out that way. At the time it was the only thing that seemed to get their attention.

Going to the ED is not an option for me. I don't reach out, and won't go near there for psychiatric reasons at all.

[here today]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Content warning: Some people may find my post offensive.


What I have always suspected has been confirmed.

I have been reading some of my medical records from 20 years ago to understand how I got misdiagnosed. It has been very helpful but painful at times. The list of diagnoses from DSM - III don't bother me at all, because they are wrong. What really bothers me is the inaccurate family and social history and what was withheld from me. There is also evidence of stereotyping based on ethnicity. They wrote I had an alcoholic father and came from a broken home filled with abuse. One notes states I was sexually assaulted. None of this is true. I cannot believe they would write this without verifying any of it. Perhaps I was mixed up with another patient, but I highly doubt it. I suspect this was done to support the PD diagnosis and to justify treating me like a disease that had to be extirpated.

I have realized my feelings, which they told me were wrong, were justified. My feelings were real, not wrong. They were the ones who were wrong. I was told, I was a terrible, evil person who had nothing to offer but chaos, and danger to any psychotherapist/psychiatrist who met me. I was assumed to be promiscuous, an alcoholic, eating disordered, and so on, all to fit the PD diagnosis. None of that was true. My adolescent issues were from bullying and ASD which wasn't diagnosed until years later.

Eventually I quit seeing psychiatrists and decided to recover on my own. As I read my records I couldn't help but think was my experience really necessary? Did they really have to diagnose me with a PD and then treat me like the plague? Why couldn't they question, observe and listen? I really need to get past this. Right now I'm livid and so is my family.

I should point out about 5 years after this horrible experience I developed psychosis. The clinicians treated me a lot different. Suddenly I was worthy of their help. Where the hell were they in the 1990s?

The point of my post:

Psychiatrists/psychotherapists are not gods. They can do great harm. The over emphasis of certain psychotherapy theories (blame parents, especially mothers) and alienating diagnoses makes me wonder. Be very careful with them, they can really try to break you.

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Thank you for all the replies.

I started this thread, because I know this has happened to others. I've read stories about parents losing their daughters to psychiatry. They certainly tried to distance me from my family, by telling me I was abused, because they didn't understand my "symptoms". I nearly fell for it, because I was so desperate to understand why I had social issues. It is hard to forgive myself for that and nourishing their suspicions. When I left in the very late 1990s, I vowed never to let that ever happen again.

I’m late joining this discussion so let me just thank you for the original post. I had a different experience – I didn’t have anything but depression diagnosed for years when there was underlying trauma and personality disorder. So nothing serious was addressed and I trudged along as best I could until I fell apart. I don’t think therapists TRIED to break me but I do believe they contributed to my dysfunctionality in the last 20 years.

Also, once I finally got to therapists trained in trauma treatment, I had a realization in therapy of the extent of the trauma that was due to being terrified (and traumatized) during an operation when I was 3. So, yes, my family was dysfunctional in some ways and not perfect but the imperfect people who were my parents tried within the limits of their ability, which was limited due to their own experiences, etc., etc. Also, the nurse who held me down kicking and screaming in the operating room didn’t know any better at the time, much as I still have bad feelings about her (now deceased, no doubt). So LET ME GET OVER IT already – THAT’S what THERAPISTS are for, isn’t it?

Part of the problem, in my opinion, is that when you’re distressed and depressed and anxious and dysfunctional, you are in a very poor position to try to realistically assess the risk and even danger that therapists and therapy may pose. We’re looking for HELP, for goodness sake. So, yes, I am really glad to see posts like yours that help to let people know about the kind of things that can happen but I’m still concerned that the profession can use, and has uses, that to offload their responsibility to vulnerable people.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

A few times ED doctors have projected their frustrations on me.

I know what you mean. I've been through it when I experimented with self-injury in my late teens. It was humiliating. Self-injury was the only way they would listen, because the PD diagnosis prevented them from listening and taking me seriously. I felt very conflicted and horrible about having to reach out that way. At the time it was the only thing that seemed to get their attention.

Going to the ED is not an option for me. I don't reach out, and won't go near there for psychiatric reasons at all.

I'm terrified of the ER. I had to spend close to 3 hours with that doctor stitching me one night and had to get the nurse to give me my purse to take an ativan. You can feel judged even silently. I do wonder if our ERs in Canada are worse for this though.