[guilloche]

I'm starting to tentatively look around for a new T.

Some questions for you all...

1. Do you see a T that is in-network for your insurance? Do you have any concerns about your information being shared with the insurance company, or with them limiting your sessions (i.e. randomly deciding that therapy's not "medically necessary"?)

2. Did you do anything to pre-screen potential Ts by phone? What did you ask, or look for, in the initial calls?

In the past, I've picked a T, went to see them once, and then made a yes/no decision before trying another T, but this has proven to be really inefficient, so I'd like to screen a handful of them and hopefully improve my odds of finding a good one this time around. I think it would be helpful to pre-screen (since it would be expensive to schedule appointments with LOTS of Ts to try to see who is a good fit).

3. How did you determine that your T was competent and able to help with your issues?! I'm finding that asking them if they think they can help, after one session, is not a good method. Last T was confident he could be helpful, and he really wasn't. T's seem to be pretty over-confident about their skills, and it's really too expensive and time consuming to continue spending a year or more with Ts that can't help.

Any other tips or suggestions? I'm feeling crappy enough that I'm thinking about scheduling a one-off with my old T (who told me he'd be open to that when I left), with lots going on, but I think that's a bad idea for me. I've seen a lot of Ts, and haven't really had a successful T-experience yet. I want to deal with my crap and get my life sorted out, but omg... just finding a good T is such a challenge, for me anyway!

Thanks!!!

My insurance has covered my therapy without limitations. In fact, they have a separate phone line and department to deal with mental health which I have found works well because they are trained just to deal with questions pertaining to such matters. I have had no problems with confidentiality. They have a diagnosis code of course, but really, beyond them paying my bills, I've had no encounters with them whatsoever.

I've never prescreen therapists prior to meeting them. I just go to the first session and decide from there. Working off of my insurance list, the options were limited, so I knew I wasn't going to be meeting a bunch of them. Either the ones on the list were going to work, or I was not going to be in therapy. Paying out of pocket was not an option for me. I was fortunate that the first one I tried was a great fit and I worked with him for over 10 years.

I've never asked a therapist if they thought they would be able to help me with my issues. I always have made my decision based on how comfortable I feel initially and a sense that that therapist does "get" me pretty quickly. For me, that has worked well. I've left a number of therapist very early on because I knew almost immediately it wasn't going to work. The ones I felt positively about have always worked out for me.

[stopdog]

I pay cash and do not use insurance. I have made appointments with several at a time after talking to them by phone. I have always interviewed them by phone first. Some I did not go to a physical appointment with because I could tell after the phone call that it was not going to be a good use of time and money.

[justdesserts]

I've always seen therapists in network, but my network is pretty inclusive. For myself, I've had pretty good luck finding therapists going off of recommendations from others and then just going to see them and trusting my gut.

[Waterbear]

I had some quite specific things that I was looking for so I screened by email. What surprised me was the amount of people who said 'come for an assessment' but when I got there clearly were not willing to work in that way. I just kept looking and found what I think is the right one after trying about six. I am lucky I had the support of my old T throughout this, she has been very very good about the transition, even with me not finding or making it easy.

[guilloche]

Thanks everyone. It sounds like most people go ahead with the first couple visits, and make a decision based on that. It's hard for me... the whole concept of therapy doesn't feel good to me (!!!) and I'm sure that the previous bad experiences make it even harder.

Lolagrace - thanks! It's reassuring to hear that you haven't had any issues with privacy, or any interaction at all really, with your insurance company. I'm not sure that I could deal with having to defend my need of therapy. And, you're really lucky that your instincts about therapists seem to lead you to good ones! I think my instincts are broken!

Thanks Stopdog. Was there anything particular you asked, or looked for, in the first phone call? Phone screening seems like it should work, in theory, but I'm not sure what to ask. Maybe what I ask doesn't matter, maybe asking anything will get me a good enough window into how they answer questions and deal with clients?

Justdesserts - thanks! I don't really have many people that I can ask for recommendations. Someone here was kind enough to give me a very good recommendation, but the T is out of network for me, and doesn't have normal parking at her location (she's in-town, so parking is on the street, and I haven't really learned how to parallel park, it's not something I really ever need to do). I have another recommendation from my chiropractor, and the T sounds really smart and kind, but again, she's not on my insurance.

I'm struggling with the in versus out of network thing, b/c my out of network coverage got much worse this year. The deductible went up to $6000 (!!!) and the reimbursement is only 40%. It's not useful. In-network would be much more helpful in covering the costs.

omegalamed -

Thanks, Watebear... when you say that "when I got there, they weren't willing to work in that way" - what happened? Do you mean that they weren't willing to answer your questions? Or to let you ask questions? Telling someone to just come in is a bit difficult, due to the cost... it seems like you should be able to get a feel for whether you like the T before spending money. The costs would add up quickly, I'd think, without much in the way of benefits. Could you imagine if companies had to pay job candidates to come in and interview?!

You're really lucky that your T is supporting you through the transition! I think my old T would be willing to do that, but isn't sure how. He looked at the list of Ts from my insurance company and pointed out a couple that had been around a long time, but really, he just knew their names, he didn't know them personally.

Thanks everyone!

[Waterbear]

I know I wanted a T who would really interact with me, working creatively and using touch when trust had built up, it is a long story but I feel it is neceasary so needed to make sure they were comfortable with it. I also wanted to continue being allowed to email etc. In the UK a lot of Ts offer free or reduced cost 'consultation sessions' which helps but it is still bad when you get there having asked the above and they say they don't work in that way. Kind of pointless and upsetting. My T was just there for me, offering me encouragement and listening to me, not pushing me if I said that they didn't feel right. She recommended one and came with me because it was the first one but it didn't work out, we both realised it wasn't right while we were there. We were supposed to only see each other for another 6 sessions back in Feb but she has said there is no rush, it needs to be right. I am glad to have found the lady I am working with now. Hope it helps.

[guilloche]

Thanks Waterbear, it does help! And, that sounds so frustrating that when you asked Ts your questions over the phone, they seemed OK, but when you saw them they said that they don't work that way.

Thanks! I haven't made any calls yet, I'm still thinking a little about calling up my old T, as he at least knows my family dynamics and would give me a chance to talk through some of what's going on now. I just... I'm not sure that's the best idea. It was hard to leave, even though I know he's not the right T for me, so I think I might be better off with a clean break!