Telling T I'll miss her

I've written about this a couple of times before but here's a quick recap...I'm graduating grad school in a couple weeks and I'm currently job searching back in my home state (not where I live now). With the unknown of where/when I'll find a job, I'm not sure when I'll be moving but it will most likely be within the next month or two (hopefully by July). I've been seeing my T the entire time I've been in grad school and I'm extremely sad about having to say goodbye.

One of my challenges is that I have a hard time letting go of things once they end, both relationships and experiences. I also don't have many (if any) close relationships here so my T means the world to me. I wouldn't have been able to do this without her and I honestly can't imagine my life in the future without her support.

With that being said, I really want to tell her how much it's going to hurt me to say goodbye before I actually have to. I kind of feel like my session tomorrow would be a good time to do so...that way we still have a few more sessions left and she won't be surprised when I have hard time saying goodbye. I'm certain that if I'm actually able to tell her how I feel, I'll breakdown and I've never cried in front of her before...

Has anyone else had a conversation like this? How did it go?
Regardless of if you have or not, do you have any advice?

I haven't had the experience but have this coming up and not sure if or how I will deal with it. I want to be real and not hold back, like you say. Good luck

It's good to bring up things in advance. It's distress toletance. It's what my T and I are doing. She's not terminating with me for at least another year (but no more than 2 ). But we constantly talk about termination to try to reduce the intensity of my emotions come time.

So yes, I think you should talk to your T. I think it would be very healthy and helpful for you.

And don't be afraid of crying. I don't know why people make crying a big deal. If you cry, you cry. If you don't, you don't. Either way is okay. Just be present and let yourself feel and experience the session.

I agree. If the tears come, then that's okay. It's normal to feel a sense of loss with someone who has listened and cared.

I say talk about it at your next appointment. I didn't talk things through ahead of time with a therapist I was seeing before I moved and I wound up completely surprised at how hard it was to say goodbye (for both of us). We didn't really have a chance to work it through and it still kind of hurts 4 years later. So definitely-- tell your therapist ASAP, and take the time you have remaining to work through your feelings about saying goodbye.

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I think its very important to tell her everything you are feeling. Don't leave anything left unsaid. Don't have any regrets. Its ok to cry and express emotion. All of your feelings are ok and normal. I am going through the same and I don't know how I am going to get through the last session. I do know that I have told her all the time how I feel and especially lately. I have also written her a letter that I am giving her so nothing is left unsaid. Be in the moment and enjoy being with her. Its good you still have some sessions left. Cherish them and enjoy all the time you have. I hope you can have a good ending. I wish you luck. I am sorry you are going through this pain. I hope there is healing for you.

I'm not a writer, and would have focused on my bad grammar, so a letter would not have worked for me. I used a series of cheap gifts with heart-felt notes attached for the different milestones I reached in therapy, and some gifts represented the outrageous discussions that made us laugh our tushes off. As she opened them we reminisced. A year later I was at her office, and two held prominent positions on selected shelves.

There were light tears, but they represented very little sadness, but more of this makes me feel so good. You have helped me get there. How do I thank you?