[granite1]

So my t took the rains again in therapy. She said she would like to talk today about coming up with some ideas about what I want from therapy, and how could she could help me better. Of course I see this as the kiss of death. The I have no idea how to help you feel better so we better come up with Something or its time to stop.as usual I can't respond, so eventually she asked if I wanted her to share some ideas she had. I whispered sure. She brought u about my farther and that maybe we could work on that. Instantly I was terrified. I told her that was hard. She said then we could focus on some good things, then asked if there was anything good I see as going on. I couldn't think of anything a.she said how about all the good feeling about my son. I told her some things I encountered on my visit and it was not good . I'm feeling so down and disconnected with therapy so bad these days . It is something different every time this time it was lets talk about how I can help. Last week it was the getting up and taking notes. The week before that it was me forgetting my session and also having an extra session. Lots of confusion about that . So I said I want to come here and not to have something different going on and that it seems lately every time I come here I am walking into something different. I want to come in and not freak out .i want to be able to feel good . She. Then said that she didn't know what we could do for T. Do you want to come on and just drink tea .i smiled and said I liked tea. It is hard to talk about things about my farther because w have such different ideas about the situation. I told her that I don't know how to talk about this stuff with out freaking out . A lot more was said but I feel she is getting really tired of me . I'm scared of all the signs I am seeing . Maybe I could try to Wright down some things I want to work on and I want her help on . But I don't think I can do it . Its a lot about my past and stuff. I don't think she wants to work on that with me . I don't thinks she thinks I can handle it. Or isn't interested. I did tell her I don't know how helpful sitting around drinking tea would be . I also said working on the stuff about my dad would be ok but I have no idea how to I'm so confused about what is going on. It seems she is getting me ready to tell me it is time for me to go.I'll be so devastated

It sounds like she realizes you have been distressed lately and is trying to empower you to have some control in your sessions. That makes sense because they way you have talked recently it seems as if you feel a lack of control in your sessions; it seems wise of your T to help you find a place of comfort and control. She's doing what good therapists do. She's asking for your input, your needs, your communication. I may be missing something, but nothing that you describe seems to be a therapist who is getting tired of you and is about to let you go; rather, it sounds like she is simply trying to meet you where you are.

[stopdog]

I agree - it sounds more to me, from the description, that she was trying to help you find a more comfortable place in therapy. It did not sound at all like she was trying to get rid of you. More that she was asking you how she could help you better.

I agree with Lola and SD. She is collaborating with you to help you and allow you to take some of the control. It seems like that is important right now because therapy has been somehow inconsistent for a while.
I often ask my clients similar questions when I get confused or there is general confusion in sessions. It is to clarify that we are both on the same page and want the same things. For example I had someone come to me who wasn't sure of his needs or wants or why he was coming to therapy so every so often I check in with him that we are on the same wave length and ask him how he feels it's going, if he is getting what he needs, if not what can we do! It is about letting him take control and for him to identify what he needs because he was used to others taking the lead and telling him what he needed.
I could see how you would feel like it was leading to termination or that t was fed up but it would be remiss of her not to check in with you, she is obviously feeling what you are feeling and would like some clarity and input to your treatment!

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[granite1]

For me it always seemed like the kiss of death when a T would be unable to help. When a T started asking questions like this I knew they had no idea how to help and were going to send me away. And I don't mean just to another T. I basically spent many years in residential treatment programs. So when a T had no idea how to help me it meant leaving that home. It meant leaving everyone I knew and moving to a different town . My T asking me what she can do to me means all this . Her last ditch effort to stop this from happening . Even when this would happen at a hospital I would be in ,this meant they were going to send me to a state hospital. I'm not saying I didn't deserve this to happen I was not the easiest client with my extreme behavior. I can't help but fear my T is seeing the same thing and I'm not even realizing it . I know with all the stuff going on with my son and my obsessing over my family and all I know imam a challenge. I'm just hoping I'm going to be able to cool it down some and give her a break.. I should have never asked her for that extra session . That seems to be the catalyst of all this

[velcro003]

Have you let your T know that what she is doing is triggering all your past T's and residential treatment's abandonment? I think that is VERY important for her to know. I also agree it doesn't seem like she is trying to get rid of you. She is trying to help you feel like you have some control.she probably does not realize that it makes you think she is ready to run for the hills.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by granite1

.. I should have never asked her for that extra session . That seems to be the catalyst of all this

Also-this is interesting that you are so thrown by her offering an extra session. Doesn't that show you that she really wants to be there for you?