[mira belle]

i know we are separate...we just cross each other for few seconds in the waiting room.
last session...my t was late 10 mins. i could hear him and a female laughing...probably cuz they were standing by the door. i felt very uncomfortable, as it was my time. i heard them laugh and talk for a good 4-5 mins. which is very long!
when i saw her exiting, i was even more ....hmmm jealous.
she was so pretty.
In session, all i could think was of T and her.
No joke.
how miserable must my T be sitting with me, he would rather be with her.
he even spent extra time with her.

so my session was a bit of waste..i couldnt participate in it more...i kept on feeling sorry for my T and what a waste of his time this was. maybe i shouldnt have come today...and he is probably thinking of her...

all because of this other client...

next time i am making a first appt. of the day if available.
i dont want to see any clients of his. wish he took care of this by having bigger gaps in between appts.
i never had a problem before when he was late, cuz most clients exiting were males.

how can i deal with this. what can i say to myself if this happens again.

[mira belle]

i am so upset i wasted my session by not being present..

[junkDNA]

I know it's hard, but could you talk to your T abt all of this?

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[doyoutrustme]

I once crossed paths with a prior patient who was pretty. I was super jealous.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by mira belle

i know we are separate...we just cross each other for few seconds in the waiting room.
last session...my t was late 10 mins. i could hear him and a female laughing...probably cuz they were standing by the door. i felt very uncomfortable, as it was my time. i heard them laugh and talk for a good 4-5 mins. which is very long!
when i saw her exiting, i was even more ....hmmm jealous.
she was so pretty.
In session, all i could think was of T and her.
No joke.
how miserable must my T be sitting with me, he would rather be with her.
he even spent extra time with her.

so my session was a bit of waste..i couldnt participate in it more...i kept on feeling sorry for my T and what a waste of his time this was. maybe i shouldnt have come today...and he is probably thinking of her...

all because of this other client...

next time i am making a first appt. of the day if available.
i dont want to see any clients of his. wish he took care of this by having bigger gaps in between appts.
i never had a problem before when he was late, cuz most clients exiting were males.

how can i deal with this. what can i say to myself if this happens again.

This same thing happened to me. It was very long ago but I heard my pdoc laughing and talking to some woman during the time I was supposed to have begun. I didn't get a look at her though. But after that, I didn't care as much because I was never going to be her.

I once saw my therapist hugging a young pretty client in a dress. I wasn't pleased. Luckily his new office has a separate exit door, so I hardly run into that problem anymore.

[runlola72]

I'd be upset too. I recently received an email meant for another client and though it was pretty innocuous, it was congratulating her/him on a weight gain. Just the fact that this other client won the privilege of a full sentence email made me jealous!
I'd be jealous of a pretty girl laughing with T too. It could be something worth exploring in your session, and I am sure your T has heard similar things from other clients before.

I guess other clients never bothered me. I always saw them coming or going. Their therapy had nothing to do with my therapy so I just stayed focused on me. You might want to talk to your T about your reaction though; could be something that you could figure out where it is coming from.

[substancelessblue]

That is really tough for you. I have a similar problem, but it's just any time I see another client I get freaked out! Also I used to see my T at her house where I never saw another soul, she must have staggered the appointments so we would never cross paths. Now at her new office the sessions are all in a row with no time in between. The client before me today was late finishing and I was anxious and furious. I wish they could space their sessions. It just seems like common courtesy and avoids so many extra feelings!
Please try not to be concerned that she's 'prettier.' Maybe your T would disagree or maybe he finds you more interesting. Your T will be focused wholly on you during your session - that's what you pay him for. Maybe you can think of a way to soothe your feelings so they don't encroach on your time with him. After all, you deserve to be there just as much as any other client and deserve his attention as much as your own.

[Chummy2]

I had this also. My T (female) and a female were talking loud and laughing. I felt jealous and sad. I'm not like that. I don't do chitchat with my T. I find it hard to be just casual with a T and to joke around sometimes. I wish I could. It would also be good for me.

How to deal with this? I'm not sure. It started when I saw her interact with the client before me. She was a few times late for me because the client before me stayed longer. Eventually I told her about this. It was bothering me so much.
But it didn't really helped. That laughing, that happened about a week before she went on leave. I've been doubting what she thinks of me for such a long time.
She said that all her clients are different, that's what makes her job interesting. All clients are equally important. That I talk less than most people isn't a bad thing.

But for me nothing has changed. I still feel jealousy.

[precaryous]

I saw T hug clients good bye (before we began saying good bye that way) and I was super jealous. I felt, I must be untouchable or something. Why didn't she ever ask me? I finally brought it up. Everything's fine now.

I'm usually early, so I do end up seeing some of T's other clients as they leave. I dunno, I don't feel jealous of them very much. I admit I watch to see how consistent T is with them. Although I rarely speak to other clients, I feel more of a comrade
with them...maybe a sibling thing. If one was in need and I could help, I probably would try.

[Bipolarchic14]

10 minutes late. When she exited I probably would have left. It would make me uncomfortable too.