[itjustis]

I googled my T and found out some things about her that she hasn't told me herself. I know she would tell me if I asked, we have a great relationship like that, she said she would be honest and answer any questions I have.
But why do I feel so bad about searching her? I've found her on social media too.
I feel like I've been snooping and shouldn't have.


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[Waterbear]

I didn't his just this weekend. I don't want to say too much here but it is a weird feeling.

[A18793715]

Originally Posted by itjustis

I googled my T and found out some things about her that she hasn't told me herself. I know she would tell me if I asked, we have a great relationship like that, she said she would be honest and answer any questions I have.
But why do I feel so bad about searching her? I've found her on social media too.
I feel like I've been snooping and shouldn't have.


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I've done that. Except stalker level. I wasn't doing good and tracked down her address, family members, phone number, etc. it's all free right there online.

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[BrazenApogee]

I've done it. I don't feel guilty. I googled my ex-T, the really bad one with no boundaries, after I left him. I found out his License had been "warned" by the state for similar unethical behavior he did to me and he killed someone's pet in rage. I should have googled him earlier, would have saved me time.

[Ellahmae]

I've done it. I don't feel guilty about it though. Nor have I told T.

[Coco3]

I googled him too, in the beginning of therapy mostly. I wanted to, but at the same time I didn't like it. Made me feel weird.

Now I check his website or facebook sometimes, when I don't feel connected.

[runlola72]

I googled in the beginning. Now I check his page for updates (obsessively) that never appear, and I look at his picture several times a week, though not sure why. Just to check he's real? Ack, it's a bit weird for sure. you're not alone.

[Bipolarchic14]

I think it is normal to be curious about this person you are exposing yourself to.

I have extensively googled T. I have never told him. I think it is a power thing with me.

[LonesomeTonight]

Both my T and marriage counselor have very common names (MC's being especially common), making them very difficult to Google successfully. Which is a good thing for me!

[annielovesbacon]

I have extensively googled my T (never told her). Found out her birthday, anniversary, stats from when she played sports in college, even her address (though I doubt its current). I feel bad and creepy about doing this but I try to remind myself I don't do it maliciously, I would never ever go to her house or anything, I think it comes from my desire to know my T better since she knows so much about me.

[kecanoe]

Information on the internet is public information. I have googled my t's, both before I started seeing them and after. I think checking someone out on the internet before seeing them is quite common and not worth mentioning. After you are seeing them? Well, I still think it is public information, it's what they put out there for prospective clients, so it's fine to look. I don't think I should go ring their doorbells; that would be uncool. But looking them up online, why not?
And I have never discussed it with any of them.

[laxer12]

I've done it as well. I think it is more common than everyone thinks.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I've Google'd both my T and Pdoc. T knows, Pdoc doesn't. Scared of Pdoc's reaction. T told me that when we terminate, she doesn't want me searching her anymore. She wants the transitional items to be enough for me to hold onto her.

[SheHulk07]

I've searched all of my current and former Ts, doctors, teachers, etc. It's more of curiosity for me, to get a glimpse into their lives when they're not being professionals.

My old T2 is the only one who knows I looked her up on facebook, because she asked when my name came up in the "People you may know" section. I realized later that my name showed up because I liked her company's page. She wasn't bothered ato all by it, and joked that all her pictures of just of her and her cat. Then she went and looked at my Facebook page after I said I saw hers...not sure how professional that is, but I didn't mind since it's mostly private besides a few pictures.

[retro_chic]

Hold on. Does facebook's "people you may know" feature show people who look at your profile often?? I went to rather extensive lengths to find my T on FB and while her profile is very private, her husband's was not. I was able to see lots of photos of my T and could also read comments she had left. I noticed the other day that T's husband had made his profile very private and I can't see any photos or anything. Could T/her husband know I was stalking her???
Maybe imw just being paranoid but I'm kind of freaking out now

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by retro_chic

Hold on. Does facebook's "people you may know" feature show people who look at your profile often?? I went to rather extensive lengths to find my T on FB and while her profile is very private, her husband's was not. I was able to see lots of photos of my T and could also read comments she had left. I noticed the other day that T's husband had made his profile very private and I can't see any photos or anything. Could T/her husband know I was stalking her???
Maybe imw just being paranoid but I'm kind of freaking out now

I have heard that yes, that happens. Don't quote me on it.... but it's just like how FB ads often show things you may have recently been looking up (I recently looked up kayaks, and now most of the ads on FB are about kayaks). But I was told that FB will recommend someone if they've been to your page numerous times.

[musinglizzy]

I googled my T right before and when I started seeing her. I was hoping to find reviews and such, I found none. But I did find an old newspaper article about a book she had published...so I went to Amazon and ordered it. It is a memoir of her childhood. I enjoyed the read.... and I DID tell her about it. She said it's quite common for people to google T's when they are considering seeing them, so it wasn't out of line that I learned she wrote a book, she actually thanked me for buying and reading it.

Originally Posted by retro_chic

Hold on. Does facebook's "people you may know" feature show people who look at your profile often?? I went to rather extensive lengths to find my T on FB and while her profile is very private, her husband's was not. I was able to see lots of photos of my T and could also read comments she had left. I noticed the other day that T's husband had made his profile very private and I can't see any photos or anything. Could T/her husband know I was stalking her???
Maybe imw just being paranoid but I'm kind of freaking out now

I think it does, but try not to worry about it. I get loads of "people you may know" on my fb page that I have no clue who they are, and I just ignore them. Your T's H wouldn't know who you are anyway.
Also, T's ought to expect that their clients will Google them. It probably doesn't surprise her when a client pops up on "people you may know".

In answer to OP, I have read my T's book which uses examples from his personal life, I have watched an hour long interview with him online where he talks about his career history and various other things, and I Google him fairly often. I pretty much know everything about him that's in the public domain. Same with T1.
Do I feel guilty? Not at all. If it's in the public domain, he has made that choice. I do it to satisfy attachment needs and I see nothing wrong with it.