I want to break up with my therapist. I feel that I'm not getting anything out of therapy, and that it's a waste of my time and money.

It's not my therapist's fault. He does what he should do. But, nearly all my problems revolve around bipolar depression, and no matter what he says or does, there's nothing that can help me overcome depression except medication. It's just the nature of the beast.

What is the best way to end it all? If you've broken up with a therapist before, how did you do it? I want to be respectful and professional.

[Sarmas]

I think before you decide on breaking up it would be probably best to explain what you're feeling to your T. See what your T has to say.

[stopdog]

I would just say that I have decided that therapy is not the thing to focus on at this time. I would not discuss it with the therapist at all if I had already decided it was not useful. They are not supposed to talk you into staying if you don't want to be there. Discussing it with a therapist can lead to at least two difficulties-sometimes people get hurt when the therapist does not try to convince them to stay OR the therapist talks someone into staying because the person feels guilty about leaving the therapist who seems to want them.
I would just tell the therapist I won't be back and that I will call about another appointment if I change my mind.

[MusicLover82]

I would just say "I'll call you when I feel like I need to come back." Simple and sweet.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I like all these ideas. I'll probably just be honest and say that I'm not getting much out of therapy, and that I'll call him back if anything comes up.

[missbella]

I think it good to use intuition how such a conversation might go. My co-therapists became wounded destructive beasts when I told them therapy wasn't helping. They then inflicted as much damage as possible to keep me from terminating. If a therapist seems like the vain, controlling type, then best to leave with no justification, based on my experience.

[fullsassahead]

I am the queen of always thinking that I should end therapy or quit, so to speak. So, I'll answer this in two ways.

1. First, don't make a rash decision. Think it through. Write a pros and cons list to continuing therapy and discontinuing therapy. And, discuss the list, if at all possible, with your therapist or another support person. Or, even here. I often feel as though there's nothing my therapist can do to help me. But, that is just a testament to the fact that I should continue on. While my T cannot fix me, it's an outlet and that is often just as important.

2. I have had to "break up" with a therapist before. My previous T was not a fit. It was difficult as I was attached and that attachment overrode my feelings of therapy with that particular individual not working. In the end, after talking it over with another member of my treatment team, I knew that I was no longer benefiting from therapy with my T. Because I knew I needed to continue on in therapy, I did find someone first who I felt could help me. That way, I had support going into the termination with my current T. Since there was attachment there (on both ends, I believe), I decided to write her to let her know that I had sought out another provider. I also thanked her for her help and expressed some of the reasons why, very generally, I felt it was best that I made the switch. I wish I could say it was received well, but all I got was an "Okay then." Unprofessional on her end, I suppose, but I was able to feel good about the way that I handled an uncomfortable situation.

Regardless of what you decide, try not to cut off your nose to spite your face. Keep supports close and keep the door open to therapy in the future. Or, give it some more time. Only you know what is best, but I urge you not to make a hasty decision based on emotion - especially fear.

[luvnola]

2 different ts I had only see a few sessions, I just didn't go back. Another t whom I had seen long term, I told therapy hadn't been helpful in a while and I thought I had got as much as I could from her and I was going to look for another t. And yet another t I had seen for about 2 years, I told her that therapy wasn't beneficial any more and I'd call if I wanted another appt. (it was actually her and not therapy itself, but I liked her and didn't want to tell her I had already been looking for another t)

What you've come up with sounds reasonable. And no need for a discussion with the t if you've already decided. One of the ts (the long term one) wanted me to come in for some closure sessions with her, but I declined as I didn't need closure.

[velcro003]

i was a coward and terminated over e-mail with my T. we were just going around and around in circles, and i know she was trying--but i was over feeling so stuck. I just wrote her an email saying that I wouldn't be coming back. She wrote back saying she would like to meet at least once more so we could discuss it, and I (think) I wrote back saying no thanks

I feel mildly guilty about it, but i would have never told her the real reasons i felt so stuck, so it seemed pointless.

With my current T, if I felt like I was going nowhere, I think i'd be more honest. It was different from the very first session, and in a year we've gone a LOT farther than the previous 5 with my other T.

[Ididitmyway]

If all you want is to be respectful and professional just call or email your T, thank them for what they've done so far and tell them politely that you feel that you need something different at the moment and, therefore, you'd like to end your work with them.

If you feel you have a good connection with your T and would like to say good bye properly, then do it in person.

Other than that, there is no right or wrong way for you to terminate therapy. Do whatever you are most comfortable with. You, as a patient, have no obligation to terminate therapy in any particular way.

[stopdog]

I think one can be polite enough without thanking the therapist for sitting there and taking money.
I don't believe in a client thanking one of those guys for merely doing their job.