[awkwardlyyours]

to have a therapist who reminds you of --

1. People you've usually gotten along well with

OR

2.People you've had a contentious / conflict-ridden relationship with

OR

3. Both (some parts) of the above

OR

4. Neither of the above

OR

5. Something else altogether

?

Multiple answers allowed.

I fortunately have never had a therapist who reminds me of anyone and I am very glad for that. Less mess.

[atisketatasket]

Neither and something else - because everyone I know reminds me of someone else I know, but I don't want therapists to remind me of someone I have strong feelings about.

E.g., No. 3 reminds me of my college therapist (very California) but since I saw said college therapist for 6 sessions or so before graduating, it's not a problem. Likewise, No. 1 reminded me of a former colleague I liked and respected but didn't have much interaction with.

I voted something else because i can't think of an alternative to the 3 options. My T strongly reminds me of brother sometimes which leads to me censoring my responses sometimes.

My T is like nobody I've ever known or had a relationship with. For me that works brilliantly. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[unaluna]

This poll is confusing! I will say that current t looks a LOT like the second Mr Luna and also resembles my dad. I mean, if you divided men up into say ten general types looks-wise, they would be in the same one. Also they do housework.

[awkwardlyyours]

Originally Posted by unaluna

This poll is confusing! I will say that current t looks a LOT like the second Mr Luna and also resembles my dad. I mean, if you divided men up into say ten general types looks-wise, they would be in the same one. Also they do housework.

Dang! And, I thought I'd devised the perfect poll.

How would you do it instead?

It's been a while since I paid any attention to men (ahem) and so, I'll take your word for it!

Btw, if it helps, I wasn't actually thinking about looks (although that would you know, be the first thing that would occur to anyone) but more like demeanor, way of relating etc (all amorphous and confounded by projections, I know). But, hey, totally non-scientific polls are fun!

[stopdog]

I don't understand what is being asked here. I don't look at people in this way to begin with - I am not sure how it would come up with a therapist. I either don't despise them or I do. I am not aware of it having anything to do with anyone else.

[awkwardlyyours]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I don't understand what is being asked here. I don't look at people in this way to begin with - I am not sure how it would come up with a therapist. I either don't despise them or I do. I am not aware of it having anything to do with anyone else.

So, I guess it's just totally irrelevant to you, Stopdog -- this would apply only to someone who finds (or is likely to find) that their T reminds them of other people in their lives (or not). If you generally don't find anyone in your life reminding you of anyone else, then of course it would be totally not applicable.

[stopdog]

Do you find people generally remind you of other specific people?
Not that you have to answer - but I am trying to understand.

[awkwardlyyours]

Usually, yes. But, I am most conscious of it only when I have strong feelings (positive or negative) towards someone -- so then, I find some sort of a pattern in who (all) they remind me of from my past.

As for the people I don't have much of a reaction to -- I sometimes also find a pattern in who (or what types of people) they remind me of that I've been mostly neutral (or non-reactive) to in the past. As in, they're the sort of personalities that I just don't have much of a reaction to. But, this stuff isn't something that automatically pops up in my mind (unlike the folks I have a strong reaction to).

With the therapist, it varies for me -- a lot of times, I just see her as someone at a remote distance and don't quite "personalize" her (if that makes sense). But, at times, she strongly reminds me of some folks in my life (usually, it's been the same set / types of people with who I've had painfully conflicted relationships) in the ways in which she responds or interacts with me. And, perhaps for me that also has something to do with what specifically was being discussed in therapy.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I fortunately have never had a therapist who reminds me of anyone and I am very glad for that. Less mess.

Same here. Enormously grateful for that.

[atisketatasket]

As I meet people, I tend to classify them by what other people I've met that remind me of them, probably in the vain hope that this will help me interact with them better.

I'm not talking about just looks, but speech patterns, demeanour, opinions, dress sense, etc.

Oh gosh. I first answered "People you've usually gotten along well with" because well, I'm human, and that's easier... right? But then I changed it to "Both (some parts) of the above" because one of the biggest turning points in my therapy with current t was one day on a phone session, my t said something that sounded EXACTLY like it should have come out of my mother's mouth and I was like... woah... no. NO! But you know what, a week or so later I told her how I'd experienced her as my actual mother, and we talked about it a good bit, and if I remember right I posted about it on PC somewhere, and it was a good thing in the end... and I was able to work through some of the ******** dysfunctional relationship with my mother. I think that was right around the time I was finally able to find some forgiveness of my mother. So it was a good thing. I hated it when it happened, of course, but.... it worked out good.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Dang! And, I thought I'd devised the perfect poll.

How would you do it instead?

It's been a while since I paid any attention to men (ahem) and so, I'll take your word for it!

Btw, if it helps, I wasn't actually thinking about looks (although that would you know, be the first thing that would occur to anyone) but more like demeanor, way of relating etc (all amorphous and confounded by projections, I know). But, hey, totally non-scientific polls are fun!

Okay I get it now. I don't know why I was confused yesterday. People like my dad and my current t, like and accept me. People like my mother and a couple of previous ts, there is a built in distrust, a one upsmanship going on all the time.

Why put anyone in a box.

[awkwardlyyours]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Why put anyone in a box.

Hence, multiple answers allowed.

.
.
.
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(That was entirely tongue-in-cheek in case it wasn't obvious)

[feralkittymom]

I tend to believe these things sort themselves out best unconsciously and that therapy is the best place for such a process to happen. Sometimes messiness provides the opportunity for growth that wouldn't happen otherwise. Of course, this is only true under "good enough" circumstances.

I voted something else - I consider them physiotherapists for the mind.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I picked my current T specifically because she did not remind me in any way of my parents or any extended family members. Also, most of my friends are very extroverted and I'm a pretty strong introvert. I wanted someone that could relate to me but not in the way that I relate to my friends.

I basically just wanted someone that was calm and knowledgeable and didn't really remind me of anyone else that I know.