[itjustis]

I had a really rough session a while back. My anxiety was out of control and I couldn't find my words or focus at all. I let T talk for most of the session to try and bring me round. She did eventually, but it was tough!

Anyway, during that session the only thing I remember saying was "I like that scarf." It was T's scarf hanging on the back of the door with her jacket.

At our last session for summer break last week T handed me a gift bag and in the bag was that scarf and a card. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She didn't say it but I'm guessing it's a transitional object? Maybe like a comfort item for a child!

I often look at it and it reminds me of T and how lovely she is.
When I was struggling with my attachment and missing T yesterday I clutched it close and it gave me a little comfort.

How thoughtful of my T to remember an off the cuff comment I made about a piece of her clothing.

I'm wondering if anyone else's T's have done anything as sweet as this?


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[stopdog]

No. I would probably not take a gift of any sort from a therapist in the first place nor allow them to engage in any sort of sweetness.
But glad you derived comfort from the scarf.

[BlossomingLen]

That's so nice! I don't remember any Therapist of mine ever doing that, but I do remember something like that happening to me when I was younger;

I was really small. I was with my dad and we were in a hotel room, probably traveling around, because we did that a lot when I was a little kid. I saw a painting on the wall and I commented on how pretty it was. My dad smiled, agreeing with me.

I went to bed, only to wake up the next morning to see my dad talking to someone. Apparently he was friends with the guy who owned that hotel, and he gave us a copy of that exact painting. I was really happy, since I really did find closure in this painting. We brought it home and we still have it hung up on one of our walls. I love it so much.

Wow. That's lovely

My therapists have never done that for me, but to be fair, I've only ever had two therapists. My first therapist was female; my current therapist is male. I'm a female, so if my current T gave me a gift, it would be verrrry awkward, especially since he's only 6 years older than me. lol (I'm 25.)

No, I have never received a gift from a therapist. I've had five therapists and only one of which I saw for an extended period of time (4 years). The others were much shorter: from two sessions to ten sessions - these didn't click with me except for the 10-session T, but I couldn't afford her fees.

My long term therapist would never have given me a gift. He was very rigid about boundaries, which was fine. Ironically, he had counter transference which he couldn't deal with and our therapeutic relationship ended via rupture.

[ruh roh]

That was very kind of her. Mine has never done anything like that, and I can't imagine that she would. She doesn't do anything overtly caring.

[Ididitmyway]

It is sweet of her, indeed, and it's nice that it gives you comfort. None of my therapists had done that, but I never really had the need for that. I wanted the opposite, actually. I wanted not to feel any child-like dependency on them and wouldn't have wanted anything that would encourage such dependency. But I understand that other people have other needs, so if that works for you, that's great.

[dphoto]

I believe transitional objects are really very important in the right context/relationship.

I know that I wouldn't have wanted or valued it from the majority of my previous therapist. But I'm very intensely in attachment/ abandonment/ maternal stuff with my current T. (I'm able to parse my adult and the "little")

Having said that my T gave my a stuffed rabbit over a year ago (she was away for 10 days). And it's brought a huge amount of comfort. Also in one of our earliest sessions she saw me playing with some magnets at her office and gave them to me. They're now my lucky billiards magnets; )

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[therapyishelping777]

My very first therapist , 20 years ago, gave me a Celine Dion Christmas CD at Christmas after I left my ex and was homeless basically living with a friend. It became my favorite CD. This really surprised me because we didn't have a good connection at all and she basically really annoyed be because all she did was ohhhh ahhh.. really.... type therapist.. I didn't stay with her too long.. but was thankful for the sweet gift at the time.

[ruh roh]

I just remembered that one gave me a rubber cockroach during our final session, before she moved. She said it was a scarab, but I said I was pretty sure it was a cockroach. She got defensive and said she'd done her research and knew the difference. So afterward, I did my own and googled images of rubber cockroaches and there it was--lots of toy cockroach sellers. A similar search for rubber scarabs turned up nothing. Really, there is no mistaking the two. I should have thanked her and not said anything, but I couldn't help but notice the dissimilarity.

A scarf sounds really tremendous. I would have been happy with a non invasive species.

[ilikecats]

That's great that she gave you the scarf! It's so sweet. Before my T went on vacation she gave me a necklace she wore all the time. She's also given me a seashell. And we've made each other playlists, and made bracelets together. I find these objects really comforting and helpful in dealing with being without her.

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[junkDNA]

T gave me a stuffed animal moose 6 yrs ago. i still sleep with it sometimes

my t often does sweet things like that. it helps so much.

[Luce]

My ex t has given me a few gifts but I really like your scarf story because.

Just because.

[Myrto]

Wow this is seriously amazing that your therapist gave you this scarf! I'm stunned. It's super nice and thoughtful of her. My therapist would NEVER do this. Not in a million years, it would never even cross her mind. Your therapist lives in another reality than mine does.

[kecanoe]

My t1 went out and bought a teddy bear for me. He got it because it looked like a picture that I like. I still often sleep with it

[Cinnamon_Stick]

That is so sweet she gave you that scarf. I am happy you have something like that.

My T gave me a crystal gemstone and a pillow as transitional objects. She has given me some other gifts for my birthday and when we ended therapy. I gave her gifts as well. I cherish everything she has given me. Isn't it so special to have something that your T gives you that they wanted to give? It has a whole new meaning that way.

[Coco3]

How sweet of your T to give you that scarf. Thank you for sharing that beautiful experience.