[motoracer11]

I have seen quite a few posts about bad t's or unsatisfactory ones at the least, so I thought I would post about my experience with a good T, with the hope that it helps some you to keep looking for the right one. I have seen this specific T since I was about 11 on and off of course, but he was the first one I went to when the depression hit. I had only one bad T in between and I found someone else to prescribe medication so I quit seeing him, so I do understand where people are coming from and how sometimes the two people just don't connect in the right way.

So over the years I have been seeing him I have always questioned whether or not he was doing a good job because he never really seemed to push me and sometimes we just had friendly conversations didn't even talk about depression. I kept thinking how is this making me better? But now after seeing the horror others have gone through trying to find someone good I understand that what he's doing is helping. He's created a place where I can feel safe and even if they day has been awful and overwhelming I can just sit and talk, cry, or whatever and it's ok. He hasn't pushed his personal beliefs of how to get better on me, instead he has helped me to understand why my current coping mechanisms are flawed and what I can do to remedy them. And sometimes he even concedes with my coping mechanism, even though I know he doesn't really agree.

Its hard for me to understand sometimes how I didn't just waste a whole session talking about life. Yea sure we didn't work on depression, but he's someone to talk to and him simply being there listening to what I have to say, more importantly caring about what I say, makes me feel good and loved. its not always important to push yourself, sometimes we need a break and just need to feel good about ourselves and I feel like he does a great job of letting me guide the sessions and not forcing me into anything that will overwhelm me.

Well there's my post guys, there are good T's out there you just have to keep looking. In my opinion they should feel like a friend, not someone that you dread going to see every time you have an appointment.

P.s. I sure hope T means therapist that's what I gathered from other posts.

Mods I would appreciate this being moved to psychotherapy section I didn't realize that was an option when I first posted this.

[Crazy Hitch]

You can press the red triangle with the exclamation mark in the middle and send a message through to mods that way. Quickest way I find to get my messages moved

Thanks for giving us food for thought.

[Bipolar Warrior]

Thank you for sharing your experience. There is so much anger on this forum, as well as what I consider to be an unreasonable condemnation of the therapy profession. I find it incredibly frustrating sometimes.

I currently have two therapists, the only two I've ever had, and they are both great and have helped me in different ways. One of them is quite similar to the one you have described here; she doesn't push me, but rather provides a safe place for me to come and talk about whatever I feel like talking about that day. We can have casual chats, though these usually only last for a few minutes, but what it comes down to is that she has a gentle approach and doesn't have any strong opinions, or if she does she keeps them to herself. She also seems fairly neutral emotionally. She is empathetic, but careful.

My other therapist is completely different. She does push me. She does have opinions. She is very and caring and compassionate, but she is not afraid to say what she thinks. And she certainly isn't neutral. She is not careful in the way she expresses her emotions. She tells me she loves me, she hugs me and holds me and tells me I can call her whenever I need to (which isn't something I do very often). She always responds to my emails and texts, and has told me that she does so because I'm precious to her. I am very, very attached to this woman, but she admits to everything (the maternal feelings, the familiarity, etc.) and also says that I am very important to her as well. She has taken risks with me, and I have broken down a few times, even accused her of some pretty awful things, but she has never blamed me or been angry about any of it. She always takes responsibility for her part in it (even if I tell her it was all my fault because I lost my sh**t), and she says that my behaviour is my illness, and not who I really am. I once said something like, "It seems no matter what unreasonable thing I do, no matter what horrible things I say, your opinion of me never changes." Her response was, "That's because I love you anyway."

When there is an open dialogue about what is going on between therapist and client, there won't be any damage to speak of. I know that I mean a lot to this therapist the way she means a lot to me, and when we have had misunderstandings and I have tried to run away as a result of it, we've always managed to talk about it and learn from it, and have come out on the other side with an even stronger relationship. So while I appreciate the other therapist, I have this one to thank for how much more emotionally healthy I am today. Due to the extent to which I was emotionally closed off, I have had to be pushed out of my protective shell in order to be exposed to all these feelings and then learn how to manage them. But of course this process requires a skilled and self-aware therapist, and I understand that not all therapists are, but those who are can change someone's life if the client is ready and willing to go through it. For me it has been extremely hard, almost unbearable at times, but it has been absolutely necessary, and that's why it bothers me so much to see all this talk that suggests my amazing therapist is "unethical" or "abusive" or similar. She isn't, and this level of cynicism is highly offensive, in my opinion.

[stopdog]

If you are happy with the therapist and feel it is working for you then what others think about about therapy or therapists can't take that away from you. Good that it is working for you.