[REEG]

I moved to a new city almost 3 hours away about a year and a half ago. I have family that still live in my hometown, so I kept my T there. Travelled for work often so I could see her off and on. Tried to meet with two other T's in my new city, one was a no go after a few visits, the other right away. My T and I tried phone sessions, that seemed to increase the feelings of disconnection. After the second bad new T experience, she was willing to try face time, which she was not at first. Last session was supposed to be our start of this, but technical difficulties made it another phone call. I ended up sharing some difficult info, the session felt disjointed and off, and at the end she called me by another clients name. I cancelled our session tomorrow. This off again/ on again sometimes face to face and sometimes phone sessions has not been what I need, but I'm not sure I want to try for another connection right now either. Would be so easy to just not follow up on our last few scheduled sessions. Feeling unsure and without support, but maybe just time for a break?

That's unfortunate and I can see how the phone sessions wouldn't be nearly the same as face-to-face. That must have been awkward when your T called you by another client's name. Thinking of you.

[LonesomeTonight]

That does sound painful...I'd continue trying to look for new Ts in your current city. Are you going to try any more sessions with your current T? Was the Facetime technical issue a one-time thing, or do you think it just won't work in general? I'd definitely let your T know how frustrating it's been and about the wrong name thing (if you didn't tell her at the time). Good luck!

[growlycat]

I do recommend leaving at least one session to say goodbye. I've done long distance phone therapy and I agree that is can feel disconnected.

[REEG]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

That's unfortunate and I can see how the phone sessions wouldn't be nearly the same as face-to-face. That must have been awkward when your T called you by another client's name. Thinking of you.

Thanks. She's amzingly good at recalling details most of the time. Just the clincher on an awkward phone session.

[REEG]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

That does sound painful...I'd continue trying to look for new Ts in your current city. Are you going to try any more sessions with your current T? Was the Facetime technical issue a one-time thing, or do you think it just won't work in general? I'd definitely let your T know how frustrating it's been and about the wrong name thing (if you didn't tell her at the time). Good luck!

I don't think I really want to look for a T in this city. We talked about how we both felt I was " near the end" of work in therapy for now. I know that for my own sake, we should discuss it. Will see how it goes. I'd like to do that in person or on FaceTime at least...

[REEG]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I do recommend leaving at least one session to say goodbye. I've done long distance phone therapy and I agree that is can feel disconnected.

Yes, it's wise I know. It's been a pretty long term therapy connection, we have been working together for 5 years. Having a planned ending s the smart way to go. And I'll allow I may feel differently in a week, but right now I'm just ready for it all to be done.

[REEG]

Update: so I did cancel, without much explanation to my T. The following week I had to cancel as well for a job interview. I called back to set up some more sessions, and T and I have been playing phone tag trying to find a time that works. This last phone message she calls and uses another clients name again... Ugh. I just left her a message saying I really only want to meet via Skype, Face time or in person. I let her know I'm getting more personal feedback that the phone is not working, and that I need the visual feedback, and need to know that my provider is getting the visual feedback as well. I also said I'm not sure if the FaceTime/ Skype will work, but am willing to try... I know mistakes happen, and I'm starting to feel that the phone is just too disconnected to work for therapy.

I think this stays roughly on topic. I think my therapist discouraged transference. He did not say the word but he said on the first session:

1. I do not accept electronic communications.
2. We are not friends.
3. This therapy will end someday.

He was blunt but I think it helped me.