I'm sure some will disagree, but please remember our psychiatrists and therapists are human too. In particular I think we need to respect they need time away from their jobs. If we are fortunate enough to have communication outside of sessions we may need to expect such comes less frequent or not at all. They should be making alternate arrangments for us like providing on call help for emergencies. My own recommendation is to call them instead.

Personally, when I am off work I want no contact with work at all.

Thoughts?

[dizzydoo]

I agree.

My T is on vacation and said I could text her. I'm sure the job must be stressful, and I want her to have a good break and come back and be able to help me.

If possible I'm going to avoid texting her, but it is hard right now.

[stopdog]

I think that if one is an adult and tells another adult to call/write/text/carrier pigeon if they wish to do so - one may reasonably accept the offer.

It is not the job of the client to take care of the therapist. That the therapist may or may not be human is not part of the equation as far as I see it. The client should not twist all up into little wads of concern and guilt and shame if the therapist has invited the client to contact them. I think it is a part of respecting someone to take them at their word about what they offer and to not try and tell them they don't really mean what they say. It is on them if they offer things - not on the client to second guess. No one would try to make a client call who did not think they had a need to do so. Why try to shame those who have different needs including outside contact? From what I see, people worry more than should about contacting a therapist - not less.

I would think a reminder that therapists and clients work in all sorts of ways and one might want to respect that those others are choosing to work in the way best suited to them is also a good plan.

[healed84]

I think if a T reminds you he/she is available via phone call, text, email while out of the office, I think they mean it. It means they have weighed their need of being "off" and clients need to know or contact t if need be. If it wasn't ok- or if the t wanted the time off from clients then it is the t's job to say so. Like something like, I will be out of the office next week and you will not be able to get in contact with me, but here is what you need to do if it is an emergency.

It is not the client's job to be responsible for t to get appropriate respite- it is the t's. I'd the client is overly using outside contact, or contacting t while and vacation when told not to, then it is the t's responsibility to say so.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[WrkNPrgress]

Absolutely agree.

This is why I have never taken my T up on the offer to have phone sessions when she has been away. I just picture her doing something enjoyable, relaxing or with her family, at dinner or something. As bad as I might miss her presence, I can't bear to think of interrupting that time for anything less than an absolute crises.

[atisketatasket]

You also mentioned this POV on the therapist on vacation thread, didn't you? Both on that thread and in general, I do not see anyone around here claiming that their therapists do not have human needs and foibles. In fact, that's usually what causes the problems in the therapeutic relationship.

I also think it's a bit judgemental to state that one should not take up a therapist's time on vacation even if they offer. They are also adults as well as human. If they invite contact, they must expect the possibility the offer will be accepted. That does not mean clients who accept it are forgetting that their therapists are human.

Clients are human too.

I find this thread (particularly the title) condescending and a little insulting.
Who on here has suggested their T wasn't human? Or didn't have human needs?
As others have said, the therapist bears all the responsibility for assessing their own capabilities with regard to outside session contact and self care. It's in their ethical code.
You may not like to think about your job outside work but if you agree to overtime that's up to you. Therapists are capable of taking care of themselves.

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

I find this thread (particularly the title) condescending and a little insulting.
Who on here has suggested their T wasn't human? Or didn't have human needs?
As others have said, the therapist bears all the responsibility for assessing their own capabilities with regard to outside session contact and self care. It's in their ethical code.
You may not like to think about your job outside work but if you agree to overtime that's up to you. Therapists are capable of taking care of themselves.

I find this condescending and a little insulting as well.

Many people here are significantly struggling and need support. For some, the therapist is literally their lifeline.

Therapists chose their profession and if they mind being offering support while off the clock, frankly they should go do something else.

No client should take responsibility to care for a therapist, or question the boundaries their therapist lays out. The therapist is responsible for that. If a therapist offers support, a client should feel free to take them up on it, GUILT FREE.

[songofthesea]

Thank you i almost forgot

Well, I do think that a therapist, just like anybody else, should be allowed to get away from their work entirely during their holidays if they so choose - but I absolutely agree that no client should ever need to feel guilty for taking a T up on an offer of contact during the break, if the T chooses to make such an offer. It is between the client and the T.

And nobody should have to feel ashamed for venting anonymously on an Internet forum if they are suffering while their therapist is away. It is not a harmful or malicious activity, and it doesn't imply any wish that the therapist should work 24/7 for the clients' benefit. Nobody expects that from their therapist.

My T takes relatively long summer holidays (compared to many Ts on here, that is) and offers no contact while he is on holiday. Shortly before his second summer break, I mentioned guiltily that I was going to miss therapy and was rather dreading the weeks ahead. I did not ask for any extra contact or anything like that, but I did want to discuss how I felt about his absence. His response made it clear that he knew that I respected his right to a vacation (which of course I did, 100%) but he also pointed out that the fact that I was going to miss therapy (and him) simply meant that therapy (and himself) were meaningful and important to me, and that could not be a bad thing.

[thesnowqueen]

My T had a paging system for emergencies and always responded but was very haphazard with email. I was often upset by not getting responses on email - in particular I tended to see is as an estimation of my worth in T's eyes. Perhaps, when considering this, it is worth reflecting on the fact that T did have a personal life, and many other commitments, and that the lack of response might not have been a function of his regard for me. I dunno...

[unaluna]

I would add, based on my experience with my current t, who ive been with for like ten years, that if your t offers availability THIS vacation, there might be a reason for it, like t is taking into consideration where you are in your t work, and his plans for his vacation. These circumstances might not be the same when the next holiday season rolls around. Thats no reflection on you or t. If you need it, use it. If you have any questions about it before t leaves, ASK!!!

[Pennster]

Yeah, I don't think this is between anyone but the client and therapist. My therapist runs his practice a particular way, and it doesn't involve a third party for emergencies. If I need help, I'm supposed to call him. He will ring back when he is available.

I am always confused when people assert the humanity of therapists - what else would they be?

[Nammu]

A great reminder! They do deserve their time off. As for they should not go into that line of work if they don't want to be available 24/7 I think that would leave very few therapists in the field. The client doesn't have to take care of the T but they should be mindful and first try to use their coping skills first.

Originally Posted by Pennster

I am always confused when people assert the humanity of therapists - what else would they be?

Poor saints that can't stand up for themselves and need protection from clients that do nothing but abuse them and take advantage of their kind, gentle hearts.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I think Ts deserve their time off, but it's up to the T to set those boundaries.

My T sets boundaries. I'm not allowed to email on the weekends because that's 100% her time. Sometimes when she takes off, I'm allowed to contact her, but she'll usually tell me that she won't get back to me till she gets back into work. This week she took off her normal work days. She didn't tell me not to email abd I didn't ask. So I just assume since she took off that she's busy with other things and I probably shouldn't email.

Originally Posted by Nammu

A great reminder! They do deserve their time off. As for they should not go into that line of work if they don't want to be available 24/7 I think that would leave very few therapists in the field. The client doesn't have to take care of the T but they should be mindful and first try to use their coping skills first.

Who said anything about 24/7? One person said "off the clock" but you are distorting that argument here.
And in actual fact, I don't think I would personally argue that therapists who don't offer outside contact should find a different line of work; there is room for all types of practitioners.
The point is that the client should not feel guilty about accepting what the therapist is offering.

[thesnowqueen]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I'm sure some will disagree, but please remember our psychiatrists and therapists are human too.

Personally I resent the insinuation that my T is human.

[granite1]

i dont know what the heck my T boundaries are about calling or out odf session . i think she said if i needed her to call the new number but i have a feeling that was for apt questions i bet

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I would add, based on my experience with my current t, who ive been with for like ten years, that if your t offers availability THIS vacation, there might be a reason for it, like t is taking into consideration where you are in your t work, and his plans for his vacation. These circumstances might not be the same when the next holiday season rolls around. Thats no reflection on you or t. If you need it, use it. If you have any questions about it before t leaves, ASK!!!

I agree with this. No. 1 and No. 3 (twice) have both offered me vacation contact. All those times I was in crisis. Had I not been in crisis, I doubt that they would have made those offers.

Eta: I objected when No. 1 made her offer. Her response was, "I may be on vacation, but I'm also still your therapist."

[Merecat]

Therapists chose their profession and if they mind being offering support while off the clock, frankly they should go do something else.

I think that's ridiculous, to suggest a T can only do the job if they're available out of session is a nonsense. A full time T could see 30+ clients a week, does she need to be available to them all, all the time? The vast majority of people see their T for one hour a week and don't have contact in between, so those Ts should all do something else?

If a T does offer contact in between for a particular reason, then clients should feel ok about taking them up on the offer. I think problems arise when a T finds themselves unable to respond in the way they hoped they could or where a client becomes dependent on that contact but that isn't by any means the norm in therapy.

[Mully]

Originally Posted by Nammu

A great reminder! They do deserve their time off. As for they should not go into that line of work if they don't want to be available 24/7 I think that would leave very few therapists in the field. The client doesn't have to take care of the T but they should be mindful and first try to use their coping skills first.

I wish my T was available 24/7!

I do believe it is the job of the T to set the boundaries.

Mine is literally only available during office hours, three days a week. Evenings and weekends are her own (although she often works into the early evening on those days) and vacations are completely her time. She doesn't do texts or email. I can call her voicemail whenever, but she is clear that she will only check and return calls when she is in the office. We have pretty much daily check-ins when she is working, so that's our compromise.

I don't really understand why any T's have 24/7 (or near that) availabilities anyway. If it's a true emergency, there are always crisis lines and emergency numbers, or the hospital. As much as I would love for my T to talk to me when I feel in crisis mode, I also get that by her having her boundaries, I learn that I will survive the crisis. And if I won't, then I need to access emergency professionals.

That said, though, I don't blame the client if they utilize a high amount of out of session contact. If the T allows that, it's their choice. I think it isn't the best idea for many reasons, but who am I, really. Maybe just someone jealous that I can't do the same?

[Chummy2]

I really thought therapists were some other kind of species.

But T's are adults. They should make their rules/boundaries that work for them. If a T offers to a client that she/he can contact T during their break, then that client is allowed to contact that T. If a T wants nothing to do with work during their break/vacation, then T should not offer it. It's best for a T to have a seperate email for work only.
My T's have a work email. They probably only look at it during their workhours. I know that T1 does that. Not totally sure about current T, but I know she doesn't do email during her vacation.

I can send them an email during their breaks, but I know I won't get a responds until they're back at work. And I'm allowed not to like that.

[growlycat]

For many patients, being given permission for unusual contact is part of the "work" of therapy. For many, having someone really be there for you is a first in a lifetime experience. Or there are those who have trouble asking for what they need. If a therapist grants permission then it is ok. Even when they don't therapists have the right to set boundaries like anyone else.

[stopdog]

The ones I see exhibit over-the-top excited positiveness if I ever contact them for some reason reasonably construable as support. The second one even went so far as to say she thought being available outside of the appointment was part of the job and to call anytime even in the middle of the night. And then she spent the first 4 years repeating it every week. Now she only repeats it every couple of months. She also explained right at the very beginning,that she charges prorated fees in 10ths of an hour after the first 15 minutes. Since I charge in 10ths of the hour - I have no problem with it. Plus the extreme lack of probability that I would ever stay on the phone for more than a couple of minutes also factors into it for me.