[tennisteam]

I've been in a process group for about a year - we meet 3 times a month. I've been working on a lot of relationship issues, but I'm struggling with one and am having trouble with finding insight into my feelings. I thought this might be a good place to see if people have any thoughts about why these feelings could be coming up.
Basically, I get triggered and annoyed when group members complain about things that I myself struggle with (examples, disordered eating, stress, depression) I feel and express empathy, but when they go on and on and don't seem to want to accept help or change, I get really bothered. I have brought this up in group and I haven't really found any answers. My background (childhood) was pretty extreme compared to others in the group (severe abuse/neglect) and I think that's part of it. Sometimes I feel like if I can face my problems and try to do something about it, why can't others people who have been through way less (they don't seem to have as many roadblocks as I have) Does anyone ever get annoyed when others complain about things they have been through? Any thoughts on why this could be coming up and how I might address the feelings?

You might want to consider the fact that lots of people are never helped by group therapy - many people are, but if you are not, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong or unusual about you or your reactions. Different people need different things and group therapy is not universally helpful.

[tennisteam]

Originally Posted by Crocus

You might want to consider the fact that lots of people are never helped by group therapy - many people are, but if you are not, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong or unusual about you or your reactions. Different people need different things and group therapy is not universally helpful.

Thank you. That is true. I wonder if I'm getting much out of it, or holding on for other reasons. That being said, I have gotten a lot out of group so far.

[CantExplain]

I always did group therapy and individual therapy at the same time. That way I had a coach for group therapy.

[LadyShadow]

I didn't really like Group Therapy. I suffered from a lot of the same ailments you faced. I couldn't sit there while others just complained. It was too much for me. I enjoy individual therapy better. Do you have a therapist? Maybe one on one sessions would be more helpful to you.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Two people can go through the same experience (death of a loved one, trauma, abuse, etc) or suffer from the same ailments, but that doesn't mean they can cope with it the same. Just because you have labeled your experiences worse, doesn't mean the others are struggling less.

[bounceback]

A lot of times things that we don't like about others are things we don't like in ourselves. Just something to think about.

I have been in many many groups.

[missbella]

I experienced group therapy as whine sessions that helped no one with the co-therapists acting as condescending judges. All changes I achieved were no thanks to therapy, particularly group therapy.

Is this a self moderated group?

For some people, groups are their only outlet. For some, groups are the closest thing to being social that they have. Thus the tendency to rehash and talk about their problems ad nauseum. This is where a good moderator is essential. A good moderator would also allow (you) everyone to share and give them the sense it is safe to do so.

Moderating is a skill. A good one will use a combination of open and close ended questions to steer the discussion for example, from repetitive discussion to different topics in order to allow for as much and wide a talk as possible.

[junkDNA]

i go to a trauma process group along with individual therapy with teh same T. sometimes i feel loads of anger in group. i want everyone to shut up. not so i can talk, bc i rarely do. sometimes i think this is bc they DO talk, and seem at ease talking, and there i am silent and sullen , thinking of what i would say in my mind, but never verbalizing it