Mixed feelings.

It's been 5 weeks since I last saw T and 2 weeks since I text her. I'm pleased with myself for going so long with no contact.

However, I'm having mixed feelings about T.
I'm grateful I guess for her cutting contact and trying to ease my attachment, in another way I tend to lean against disliking her for doing this to me then I respect her boundaries and understand why she's doing it.
Then there's the abandonment feeling. That's quite raw!

So many feelings and mixed emotions!

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I think it's natural to have mixed emotions in such a situation. I hope you find peace.

Thank you, MobiusPsyche. I'm doing a lot of journaling instead of texting T!


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My T has been doing similar things about the between session contact (my "drug of choice" is email). When we started, he said that he would read everything and at least acknowledge the receipt of every email, and did for a short while, but it became much more scarce soon. I personally don't experience it as rejection or abandonment, more that he consciously regulated our interactions and also that he puts limits to how much he will engaged for free as he does not charge extra for the emails. I (the rational part of me) actually like it that he does not engage in emails the way my former T did, who got completely enmeshed in it and then it no longer resembled therapy much. Of course on an emotional level, I have the desire to interact with him more and to see him more engaged with less professional distance, so mixed feelings for me as well, but I do think and appreciate that his approach is for my own good.