[atisketatasket]

An issue I have that used to barely bother me but due to recent events has become incredibly painful is that I can't have children. It's sort of shot almost to the top of my priority list of things to deal with in therapy. I have actually touched on it with all three, but not gone deeper than mentioning it.

So I'm wondering if anyone here has dealt with an issue like that in therapy? Was it helpful and how? Did you see someone in specialized in women's issues or someone who had their own experience of infertility? (Nos. 1 and 3 would have been more likely candidates to do it with than No. 2, who is the only one I'm seeing right now and is really a trauma specialist.). I'm basically looking for recommendations on how to go about it when it's time.

You can PM me if you prefer.

[awkwardlyyours]

Could you continue with your usual therapy with No.2 while speaking to no.3 just about the infertility (and, you could also talk about it with no.2 as needed)?

So, the therapy with no. 3 could either be for a limited period and intensive or keep it open-ended but not at the same frequency etc as the therapy with no. 2 (so, using no. 3 more as a consultant)?

I know stuff can't be compartmentalized like that but if you think no. 3 might be more useful for this specific issue, then it might help?

The Ts I've checked out have refused to see someone who's seeing another T who does the same sort of therapy -- so, not sure if that's an issue you'll run into.

[atisketatasket]

Unfortunately No. 3 is in Canada and while she can Skype, for this I actually want someone in the room with me. I'm sure No. 2 could recommend someone - I'm just kind of interested in what therapy might help with on ths issue.

[Ellahmae]

I'll message you later I'm not n a p lace to do so right now

[doogie]

Yes, I've been through this. I went through an IVF cycle while in therapy. It was very helpful to have someone to talk to about my fears and concerns about the entire thing. Sometimes I felt like I was being too much of a burden to my husband..... She helped me to learn how to take each day one at a time and how to deal with all the stress and worry. She also was there to help me through the grief of the failed cycle. I think, for me, therapy was more a place to "speak the unspeakable" when it came to my infertility. I could say things to my T that I had to keep bottled up in my "real" life. For example, in my "real" life, I had to be happy for my friend who "oops!" got pregnant for the 4th time, but in therapy - I could voice how it REALLY made me feel without being judged. I think it was VERY helpful to me to have a place to get all of that out and not feel like I was carrying around all this yuck that I had to keep suppressed all the time. I would encourage you to try talking to your T about it. Of course, I don't know your situation - but I guess you could at least bring it up and if it feel uncomfortable or like it's not going in the direction you want to go you could just ask to not talk about it anymore. On a personal note, so sorry you are dealing with this issue. It stinks.