[dizzydoo]

I've had a few Ts over the years, and one thing I've found made a difference to me in how successful it has been was the age of my T. I prefer Ts who are a full generation older than me, about the age of my parents. I am in my 20s and prefer Ts in their 50s.

Do you prefer your T to be older than you, younger than you, or about the same age? Or does it not make a difference?

[Out There]

I prefer my T to be older than me as they have more life experience. Regular T is about 10 years older than me. EMDR T is about 10 years younger but has what I need but less life experience. I may be getting old but I wouldn't do well with someone 30 years younger trying to tell me how it is !

[awkwardlyyours]

First T was a lot older -- I was mid-20s and she was late 70s.

Random Ts I saw for a session or so were older by a few years to almost two decades or so.

Current T is just about 5-6 years older (she's early 40s and I'm late 30s).

I honestly had / have significant issues with all of them -- the only (almost invisible) silver lining has been that the issues were / are different.

[Pennster]

My therapist is about my age and I like it. He's nowhere near retirement, so no stress there. I like the equality in our relationship and we're both old enough to have a good bit of life experience.

[Unrigged64072835]

My T is older than me. I would find it hard with a a really young T. It would be like "Kid, you haven't really lived through it yet."

That happened when I was in IP and had a T trainee doing groups. The oldest people in the group were shaking their heads and going, "She has got a lot to learn."

[doogie]

I didn't answer the poll, because I really wan't sure how to answer based on my experience. With my last T, I definitely would have answered "older". She was about 20 years older than me, very motherly. I felt safe with her and felt that her age gave her a perspective on things that someone younger might not have and I could just relate to her much better. However, currently I am seeing a T who is exactly my age - and it is fine. I guess for me I'm learning that if I have a good working relationship with the therapist, the age doesn't matter as much to me. Great question - it really got me thinking about my experience!

[ThisWayOut]

I've had older, younger, and same-aged. I've found the most helpful thing has been their training and experience with my issues, as well as a willingness to try different (individualized) approaches. I can't work with a T who feels only certain approaches work with everyone, and those who do not benefit from said approach are not trying hard enough.

Age doesn't factor in to things for me. Current T is about 25 years older than me, but I'm not sure how much her age plays into it.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I prefer my therapist to be around my age. My current one is 10 years older than me.

I don't do well with therapists that are significantly older, as they start to remind me too much of my mom, and I shut down. I don't do well with significantly younger therapsits, as I just don't feel they have the experience to really help me.

[Sarmas]

My T was just right. For me too young or too old is not preference. Experience, professionalism, and empathy is one of the qualities that I would look for primarily. The list goes on and then the rest is gravy.

[LesFleursDuMal]

I'm 22 and my T is like 20 years older than me and for me it's the best. I had a much older T (I was 15 and she was around 65) and felt no connection.

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[junkDNA]

im 29. my T is 39. it works for me. i have paternal transference for him, which i guess is a little odd given hes only 10 years older than me. but...transference knows no age!!!

i do prefer older.

my former T was 20 yrs older than me

[SoConfused623]

My T is a couple of years older than me and having a T around my age is perfect! I wouldn't want someone significantly older or younger as I think that it's important for them to be able to relate to me. I can't imagine talking with someone significantly younger as they just don't have the life experience that I have or that someone older would have. My T is a blank slate so age really shouldn't matter since she doesn't disclose anything about herself, but I still like having someone around my age.

In earlier years, I would have said someone older definitely, but I'm already on the elder end age-wise now, so someone my age or older is fine. Definitely not someone much younger; just not enough in common life-experience-wise.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I prefer my T to be older than me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

All my Ts have been 10 years + older than me except ex-T and current T. I thought I preferred older Ts, but I realized I don't have maternal transference with Ts my age. So I think I prefer Ts my age now.

[Mike_J]

I said younger because I have only had one therapist and she is GREAT and a bit younger than I am.

[nottrustin]

I answered older than me but to be fair i have only had 2 therapists and they were both older. My current therapist is in her late sixties am am 45. One of my main reasons for found was to deal with the loss of my mom. I had an amazing mom so i didn't need a mom but a think of her as like that really close aunt. She has life experience plus when I question things about my childhood and why my parents did the things they did, she usually had insight because skye wad of the same generation.

[Chummy2]

I want my T to be older than me, but not too old. PrevT was only 3 years older than me. It worked out fine, but I did compare myself to her a lot and I wasn jealous on her. Current T is 13 years older than me. So far it's going alright. I don't compare myself to her and that feels better for me. I feel a little bit less afraid to me judge by her, it's easier to tell her certain things.

I have always preferred people older than me even as friends so for Ts definitely older. My former T was about 25 years older than me and current T is at least 15 older (I never asked their exact age). Like others have stated, it's about experience.

[divine1966]

Older or at least same age.

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I definitely want my T to be older and more experienced. I am in my 40s and he is somewhere in his 60s I guess.

[skysblue]

My T is younger than me but she has more than 20 years experience. I suspect I wouldn't want a T fresh out of school - life experience, etc. would be an issue. Still, I've met some wise savvy younger people whom I think could do a good job as a therapist. For me, resonance with the person is more important than chronological age.

[runlola72]

I like older but parental transference is a bit painful for me. I feel it now with current T (he is about 20 years older)

[ABeautifulLie]

Haha I think a T is always going to have to be older than me since I'm 16.
My T looks like shes in her 20s and Im not too sure of her age. Personally I like that my T is on the younger side when it comes to T's;it helps me relate to her.