[Tangerine87]

I was wondering if anyone experiences this - lately I have a hard time when I myself go on vacation away from t. Sort of like abandonment but I worry that to will forget about me and I do destructive things that probably don't make him happy like emailing a lot

T hasn't gone much on vacation so I haven't felt the abandonment feelings resurface. It's just that when I am on vacation, it feels like I am disconnected from him

[Stuck1nhead]

Well, everybody needs "me time". Do you think that it is because you feel vulnerable without your T acting as a safety net.

When I had a nervous breakdown two months ago I freaked out whenever I was alone. I was fearful of being alone; I still am actually. But now I feel the desire to have more time for myself and becoming my own safety net

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[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

I was wondering if anyone experiences this - lately I have a hard time when I myself go on vacation away from t. Sort of like abandonment but I worry that to will forget about me and I do destructive things that probably don't make him happy like emailing a lot

T hasn't gone much on vacation so I haven't felt the abandonment feelings resurface. It's just that when I am on vacation, it feels like I am disconnected from him

I've definitely had this. Last year, when I was on a beach vacation with my H, daughter, and my parents, I ended up texting my marriage counselor (MC) at like 3 a.m. one night while sitting alone on the beach feeling sad (I may have also been a bit drunk). He responded very kindly the next day. Texted my T on the drive home because I was having bad panic attacks (she wrote back quickly with some tips to help me). I think in my case it was a combination of feeling disconnected from them and the spending so much time with my parents. And being at the beach, the same place I've been going since I was a kid. And lots of beer.

I leave for the same vacation tomorrow and hope to avoid contacting either of them. It helps that we saw MC yesterday instead of our usual Monday since he was on vacation earlier in the week. We talked about beach stuff with him, including some coping strategies, plus some other stuff that had been weighing on my mind. So I'm hoping I can carry those thoughts and the connection with me down there. I see both him and T (different times) the Monday after we get back, so it won't be that much off the usual schedule.

That long response was just to say, yes, I get it! And I suspect it's rather common. Have you asked your T if it's OK to check in while you're on vacation? I'm sure it's probably OK (assuming your T allows e-mail, which I"m guessing he does).

[kecanoe]

Oh yeah. I used to have daily phone sessions with T1 when I was on vacation. Don't need to now, but did for probably 5 years.