[1stepatatime]

Do you ever wonder if your therapist is tiring of you? This relationship is an emotional roller coaster! We've been working together for over three years and sometimes I feel so close to her and other times I feel disconnected. I know that a good part of this is due to my own stuff and I own it but sometimes I feel like it's not just my stuff. Awhile back she had reassured me when I thought we might have some scheduling issues due to my own schedule change at work , I told her that it was my problem and I'd have to figure it out.. She responded," it's OUR problem, Onestep". That made me feel so much better!! So fast forward to about three weeks ago and I told her that my schedule was changing and if she could possibly see me at another time, even if we had to change days it would work . The response that I got was her sort of shrugging her shoulders and an expression on her face like "I know this sucks butttt"...And she offered me every other week at a later time instead of going weekly like I do now. That may seem fair to some of you, and maybe it is but we've been working together weekly, sometimes twice a week so to go to every other week would be difficult and make it even more challenging to delve into the work.
My therapist is very much into bioenergetic therapy, which is incorporating the body to help tap into emotions that are tucked away and hard to reach with traditional talk therapy. I sometimes will engage in body work but Im not always open to it, I'm resistant and she knows it. I wonder if she tired of me because I'm not always willing to do this type of therapy.
My therapist is very ethical, holds tight boundaries, and extremely knowledgable of her field . I know she is fully capable but I wonder if maybe I need a break ( or maybe she needs a break from me, who knows). I'm really uncertain right now!!

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

Do you ever wonder if your therapist is tiring of you? This relationship is an emotional roller coaster! We've been working together for over three years and sometimes I feel so close to her and other times I feel disconnected. I know that a good part of this is due to my own stuff and I own it but sometimes I feel like it's not just my stuff. Awhile back she had reassured me when I thought we might have some scheduling issues due to my own schedule change at work , I told her that it was my problem and I'd have to figure it out.. She responded," it's OUR problem, Onestep". That made me feel so much better!! So fast forward to about three weeks ago and I told her that my schedule was changing and if she could possibly see me at another time, even if we had to change days it would work . The response that I got was her sort of shrugging her shoulders and an expression on her face like "I know this sucks butttt"...And she offered me every other week at a later time instead of going weekly like I do now. That may seem fair to some of you, and maybe it is but we've been working together weekly, sometimes twice a week so to go to every other week would be difficult and make it even more challenging to delve into the work.
My therapist is very much into bioenergetic therapy, which is incorporating the body to help tap into emotions that are tucked away and hard to reach with traditional talk therapy. I sometimes will engage in body work but Im not always open to it, I'm resistant and she knows it. I wonder if she tired of me because I'm not always willing to do this type of therapy.
My therapist is very ethical, holds tight boundaries, and extremely knowledgable of her field . I know she is fully capable but I wonder if maybe I need a break ( or maybe she needs a break from me, who knows). I'm really uncertain right now!!

Sorry to hear that . That sounds frustrating and I would feel the same way. Perhaps she has that much of a busy schedule being that she's so knowledgeable. I would ask her if there's a chance of seeing her weekly in the near future or perhaps call you if there's a cancellation. It could be that her reaction is due to the inability to accomodate you. I would be frank with her and tell her how you feel so that you're not guessing.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by Sarmas

Sorry to hear that . That sounds frustrating and I would feel the same way. Perhaps she has that much of a busy schedule being that she's so knowledgeable. I would ask her if there's a chance of seeing her weekly in the near future or perhaps call you if there's a cancellation. It could be that her reaction is due to the inability to accomodate you. I would be frank with her and tell her how you feel so that you're not guessing.

Thanks for your reply! I'm laughing at myself because I just took some medicine for a nasty cold so I'm a bit loopy.. I forgot to mention that I was able to work my schedule ( at work) out so that my therapy did not need to change times. So in the end it worked out but what is more relevant to me is that my therapist was unable ( or possibly) unwilling to help me figure out a way to see her weekly. I felt hurt, especially because not that long ago she reassured me that we would work it out. I have these feelings that I can't really count on her. It's a struggle!

[cinnamon_roll]

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

...
I forgot to mention that I was able to work my schedule ( at work) out so that my therapy did not need to change times. So in the end it worked out but what is more relevant to me is that my therapist was unable ( or possibly) unwilling to help me figure out a way to see her weekly. I felt hurt, especially because not that long ago she reassured me that we would work it out. I have these feelings that I can't really count on her. It's a struggle!

I totally get feeling hurt and also getting caught up in the inconsistencies of T's behaviour. My T explained to me once that this is another fallout of the past, since your experiences in the past hard-wired your brain and nervous system to constantly look for warning signs. Being constantly on alert, and inconsistencies *are* alarming. Especially when you're small and dependent on your caregivers.

Talk to her about how this makes you feel. Like: Recently, I've been wondering... because... This might give you access to other issues like for instance why are you sometimes/often resistant to doing body work. In my experience a good T (and your T sounds like a good T to me) will be able to talk to you about the things you feel in relationship to her in an open and non-jugemental way that should really help you to explore what's behind all this. You are aware that this is more about you and your past experiences that you are projecting onto your T, so why not use the opportunity to resolve those issues - at least a little bit further?

I know that this takes an awful lot of courage and strength. But I get the feeling, that ultimately your T seems to want what is good for you. Maybe she was having a bad day, when you were talking about the scheduling, or she was caught in some dilemma since her weekly meditation group that she goes to (or whatever) would collide if she offered you a different time slot that works for you....

Sending you warm hugs!
c_r

[kecanoe]

I also hate inconsistency. And I would feel wounded and scared if I was you. But I do wonder if t was accommodating you by seeing you at a time that was tough for her, even if it was only twice a week? For me, I would bring it up because otherwise I would stay on guard and I hate that.