Still hurting months after termination

I admit that I've yet to see any benefit in my life whatsoever from having these needs brought out by means of therapy and I'm now in a bad place mentally for knowing about them. However, for me this is not a WORSE place than I was before, just a different kind. Personally I have always had a sense of something being amiss. I just know what it is now.

I'm sorry your therapist blamed you. It sounds like you had a bad experience with an incompetent therapist. If she had been any use, she would have been able to see you through the dependency. I've had some bad therapists myself and believe me, I have learned from it.

I think I would be the same and again it comes from the nature of therapy. The T always has the upper hand and if they are unethical about it, you end up in a power struggle which always ends in a no-win situation for the client. Sometimes, you feel forced to hold onto the tiniest bit of control you have and end up saying and doing petty things you regret just to spite them (Well at least I have anyway) Then they pathologize and tell you it's just part of your problem.

I've had a sense of things being amiss also. And I have learned quite a bit, but that came largely from my own research, reflection, and talking to others. I don't credit therapy for this. I credit therapy for making me so miserable that I had to investigate further.

I'm not clear what a competent therapist would do to see one through dependency or attachment, etc. I don't see how having a contrived and engineered relationship is a sensible way to resolve anything. It requires many leaps of logic to even make a semi-coherent narrative out of this in my head. In actual practice it seems to make little sense.

And I think when someone has one (or even multiple!) of these attachments scenarios end badly, and everyone is in their ear shouting that they must try again, it borders on madness. To roll the dice again and again with such an unproven and hazardous process. As someone said, if therapists cannot predict what conditions or methodologies bring about positive versus harmful outcomes, then they are experimenting with people's lives and sanity and potentially violating first do no harm with regularity. It also carries the implicit message that suffering in therapy is not because of therapy but because of the client's "issues", and that more therapy will fix that. This is a sadistic and pathologizing message. The ethical and sane message, at least in my case, would have been -- therapy has been destructive, you have been manipulated and exploited and violated, and you would be well advised to get away from it.

Sorry for the rant... Anyway at least you are learning and glad you are no worse off. Though just re-read your original post again and sounds like you are suffering (in a way that I can relate to).