[Gavinandnikki]

Ok, brief summary. 5+ years on the couch, 3-4 times/week. Intense maternal erotic transference that,ultimately, caused me so much longing and pain that I terminated in February 2014. Took me about 2 months to feel comfortable again.

Fast forward. One year ago from yesterday, my sister died, leaving me a niece, who I love dearly, in college in New Hampshire. I'm in Texas. I go there and discover my sister was a massive hoarder(like on the TV shows). I was on high dose steroids and found they gave me so much energy,I was able in 3 visits to NH, to deal with everything and my niece.

I get home. Geez, my back is hurting. More long story short - I'd deveoped severe premature osteoporosis of my pelvis, hips and spine. 5 fractures total. Off work 5 1/2 months. Go back to work April 1, 2016 using a rolling walker. On 4/15 we had severe flash flooding in Houston on my way to see my orthopedist's and barely got out of my car. The water was up to my chest in my car and on the 3rd attempt, got out using every bit of energy in every cell of my body. I was NOT going to die in that car. Swam done, hobbled home the rest of way being so careful not to fall and injure myself. This took me over an hour to walk/swim less than a 1/2 mile.

Fast forward, both parents go into hospice and die 4/20 and 4/26. I deal with cremations, packing etc.

Ok, we're cool. Then, my daughter starts showing signs of the excessive OCD behavior and anxiety. I text my old therapist and ask for an appropriate referral. My daughter goes 6 times and tells me it's not helping. I'm thinking, does she need CBT to learn coping skills, I didn't know. So I contact ex therapist again and ask for advice. She suggests we meet to get a better sense of what is going on with my daughter.

OMG, see her again????

For those you that have followed my story, you know that , even when I literally begged for a hug during my long and intense analysis, nope, no touchy.

When I met with her yesterday, to talk about my daughter, I got a massive hug from her. Just like an old friend. No more, no less for me. So she wanted to hear about my year and my perceptions of what was causing my daughter 's problems. She recommended psychological testing for my daughter (who is scary intelligent) and some other stuff. After the testing-with another therapist, we'll get together again and talk about how to best move forward. Our time was up AND.... I got another massive hug and how happy she was to see me.

No return of transference. Just grateful she can help me get the help my daughter needs.

All I can, again, is OMG.

Thanks for listening ❣

So glad to hear from you and that you made it through that flood. What a harrowing experience! I'm glad your old T has been of help with your daughter.

Crikey. A hug after all those definitive nos she gave you. You don't say how you feel about it. How do you feel about it?

[divine1966]

Omg it's too much for one person! I am glad that old t could help! Good luck with your daughter

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[Gavinandnikki]

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

Crikey. A hug after all those definitive nos she gave you. You don't say how you feel about it. How do you feel about it?

I hate to say it but I feel "justified".

But, thank god, no reactivation of my awful transference .

Thanks for responding.

I remember your story with your T.

Wow, what an experience to get that hug from her! I can totally understand why you'd feel justified. I wonder if she felt remorseful, realizing later that denying you a hug was cruel. She might have been thinking heavily about that over the time you were apart. That would explain the hugeness of the hugs!

You've been through so very much; what hell you went through. I hope things are much better now.

[growlycat]

You have been through so much...I can't even..

T does not seem to be pressuring you to go back but are you open to the idea? Or maybe with another therapist?

[Gavinandnikki]

[QUOTE=growlycat;5263776]You have been through so much...I can't even..

T does not seem to be pressuring you to go back but are you open to the idea? Or maybe with another therapist?[/QUOTE

I will go back only to discuss the results of my daughter's psych testing and then get her recommendations about the appropriate therapy, if any, my daughter needs.

She is old and knows alot of mental help professionals in my area that treat adolescents - and I trust her judgement.

No more therapy for me!

Thank you for your response.

[Gavinandnikki]

[QUOTE=Skies;5263599]I remember your story with your T.

Wow, what an experience to get that hug from her! I can totally understand why you'd feel justified. I wonder if she felt remorseful, realizing later that denying you a hug was cruel. She might have been thinking heavily about that over the time you were apart. That would explain the hugeness of the hugs!

You've been through so very much; what hell you went through. I hope things are much better now. [/QUOTE

Thank you. I wondered the same thing. But during my therapy, those hugs would been...... Can't even think of words strong enough to describe what I would have felt.

The 2 hugs the other day were nice but not that big of a deal as far an emotion impact on me because the transference was gone.

Thanks for your response.

[rainbow8]

Oh, my! You are incredibly strong, both physically and emotionally!! When I read accounts of people who make it out of their car in floods, I am amazed that they can do it. It sounds like the scariest thing imaginable! I'm glad you're here to tell about it.

I'm sorry for all of your losses. I remember when you were posting about your parents being so sick, and about your niece.

I hope that your daughter will be treated successfully. I suppose your T felt that hugs were acceptable now that you aren't in therapy with her. Or maybe she changed her opinion. Whatever the reason, it shows she cares a lot about you. It's reassuring to me that transference can disappear! I've always simply transferred it to the next T.

Please post how it goes with your daughter.

[Rive.]

Goodness, you've had it rough Gavinandnikki... You are a very strong and brave lady (said with all due respect). Glad your interactions with ex-T are helpful & I hope all goes well for your daughter (and for you).