Well, I didn't mention the sexual feelings. I did manage to talk about the love/hate. I looked T in the eyes and said I've been swinging between thoughts of love & hate toward you. Thoughts of how I can't leave you. Why is it like this?
T after thinking said, it's a mixture of attachment and transference. You do have an attachment to me, but of course there's some transference there too. As in all relationships.
I said, OK then how to know what's transference and what's attachment?
T said, I don't think you necessarily have to know what's what.

OK I say, so why do i feel I'll never have enough of you?
T said, because that's your experince of your early life. I can't guarantee that, that will go completely, but from my experince there will be a time when you do feel you have enough that you can leave and know either literally or emotionally that I am still here.
But we do what we are doubt now. We talk about it, we work with it. It has changed for you.
I said, do you other people that don't have all that abandonment stuff going on ams just have a specific problem that they see you for?
T said, we'll they don't see me. I asked, why not?
T said, because I don't see people for short term therapy where those clients go.
Me : why not?
T: because that's not the orientation of therapy I do (oh I forgot that) I work with long term clients.
Me: why?
T: because I find that more interesting

Then she laughed and said, I don't have a business head because that's where the money is.
Me: why? Oh, right, yeah I get it.

Of course long term therapy requires affordable rates.

Anyways. It was a good session to End on.

[runlola72]

I found this very comforting, and can apply to my own therapy experience. Thanks so much for sharing it...