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  #1  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 01:20 AM
1stepatatime's Avatar
1stepatatime 1stepatatime is offline
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Member Since: May 2001
Location: SW Fla.
Posts: 1,160
If I were to be 100% candid with my therapist these are some thoughts I would share with her:
I am thankful for you
I do not completely trust you
I wonder if therapy is truly helping me
I see some changes ( for the better)
I see some things remain the same
What do YOU think??
Do you really feel me when we're not together?
I wonder what you're thinking when we're in session
Sometimes when I think about you I find myself saying out loud "f*** you"
The more I think about this the less certain I am
I enjoyed the week off, it felt good!!
I am feeling uncertain, not upset or confused but uncertain about this process.
Maybe it's time for a break
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"I wish you would step back from
that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in"
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Argonautomobile, growlycat

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  #2  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 01:51 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
Child of a lesser god
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,394
Please stop telling me the same anecdotes again and again.

When asked to explain something, don't just repeat what you said. Find new words.

Please develop a fashion sense.

Why are your feet huge and deformed?

I like not having an emotional connection with you. You are really just a way for me to get things away from me so I can do what I have to do and make the decisions I need to make.

Stop asking me "what is your negative belief from x situation?" I'm not doing EMDR, stop asking me EMDR questions.

I would really like to borrow your etch-a-sketch.

(That's all No. 2. No. 1 would go on for screens, No. 3 would be a little sharper.)
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, ABeautifulLie, Yours_Truly
  #3  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 02:23 AM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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Location: How did I get here?
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(For sparky)
Will you miss me?
Did you know that I had a huge crush on you?
If not would it be flattering or unnerving to know that?
Did you like working with me?
Did I help you become a better therapist.?
Do you want to hear how I'm doing in 6 months or a year?
Did you like me?
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1stepatatime
  #4  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 02:31 AM
Luce Luce is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
Ex T:
Can we please set some ground rules here?
I know we can't do this. I know we will end up forgetting again.
I am sorry.
I want more than anything to change it, but I don't believe we can.
The inner workings are already set in motion.
We are lost
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1stepatatime
  #5  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 02:37 AM
Anonymous37925
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I like you
I am conflicted about a lot of things
Sometimes I think you're really helpful
Then I wonder if I am imagining it
I love you
I don't know if I really do
You're the only one who can help me with these horrors
How would you feel if we were colleagues one day?
I miss you
I think I do anyway
Hugs from:
growlycat, Sarmas, Yours_Truly
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime
  #6  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 04:23 AM
Anonymous58205
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T
I wish you could see how much your words hurt me, yet I am addicted to them.

I really love you and I know you say you care about me and when you say that I can't reply because then you would know that I love you!

I know that you get frustrated with me and you don't hide it anymore you will say it. When this happens I am not withholding or withdrawing I just have nothing to say!

I get jealous when you talk about your family and going on holidays with your daughters. I wish I could tell you how jealous I get. I wonder do you tell me to make me jealous.
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1stepatatime
  #7  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 08:16 AM
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rainbow8 rainbow8 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: US
Posts: 13,284
You missed some things in therapy school. You weren't supposed to react personally to my email about your walking.
You made a big mistake when you took away hand holding the first time.
I really hate abstract art and I don't know why people buy your paintings.
I wish you would gain a little weight.
Do you miss my emails?
Do you live with your boyfriend?
I am jealous of you.
I don't like that you start things with me and then we don't finish, like that family history. You said it would be useful but we didn't go over it all. I diligently answered all the questions but we never finished it.
You said we were doing EMDR a couple of months ago but we never did it.
I'm afraid you will die before I do and I'll be devastated.
The child parts still want to climb into your lap and be held.
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1stepatatime
  #8  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:04 AM
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Argonautomobile Argonautomobile is offline
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Sit like a gentleman, please.
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"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of their marvels." - Francisco de Goya
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  #9  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:16 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
Child of a lesser god
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Argonautomobile View Post
Sit like a gentleman, please.
Manspreading?
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1stepatatime, Argonautomobile, growlycat, runlola72, Yours_Truly
  #10  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:19 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I don't think there is much, if anything, I haven't told the woman. They advertise that a client can say anything, I called their bluff.

I suppose the only new thing would be to tell her (although I think I have done so, so it might just be to remind her) that she was completely useless for everything but talking to about my sick person and that the reason she is not completely inadequate at that is that she does manage to stay back.
She has to be reminded or she thinks it is because the things are better -they are not, but I simply quit telling most stuff because of how useless she was.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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1stepatatime
  #11  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:22 AM
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Argonautomobile Argonautomobile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Manspreading?
Oh, yes. But there's just no tactful way to point it out, and, anyway, I wouldn't allow him to dictate the way I sit, so...you know...keep calm and never look below the belt. Kind of like Elvis on TV.
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"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of their marvels." - Francisco de Goya
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1stepatatime, atisketatasket, growlycat
  #12  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:31 AM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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Not to hijack but sparky sat that way too. Very distracting.
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1stepatatime, Argonautomobile, atisketatasket
  #13  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:36 AM
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MobiusPsyche MobiusPsyche is offline
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I think they got it from the after-school specials where the teacher sits backwards on the chair to indicate he's hip or whatever. I think maybe they believe is a more open body posture and therefore better somehow.

They are mistaken.

My T is female and none of my previous male T's did this but I can understand how it would make a person uneasy.
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"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman
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1stepatatime, Argonautomobile, atisketatasket, growlycat
  #14  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:43 AM
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MobiusPsyche MobiusPsyche is offline
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Please pay more attention to how you sit when you're wearing dresses. I'm thrilled that you're comfortable with your body but you know I have a tiny bit of erotic transference and I don't need to be able to see all the way up your thigh. I don't need those images in my memory bank.

I won't tell you this because I don't want you to know that I still have those types of thoughts about you occasionally. I wonder if I should tell you because you might be making your male clients uncomfortable.
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1stepatatime, Argonautomobile, growlycat
  #15  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:45 AM
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Argonautomobile Argonautomobile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche View Post
Please pay more attention to how you sit when you're wearing dresses. I'm thrilled that you're comfortable with your body but you know I have a tiny bit of erotic transference and I don't need to be able to see all the way up your thigh. I don't need those images in my memory bank.

I won't tell you this because I don't want you to know that I still have those types of thoughts about you occasionally. I wonder if I should tell you because you might be making your male clients uncomfortable.
I see it's a wide-spread problem.
__________________
"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of their marvels." - Francisco de Goya
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, ABeautifulLie, AllHeart, atisketatasket, awkwardlyyours, growlycat, kecanoe, Luce, MobiusPsyche, rainbow8, ruh roh, unaluna, xRavenx, Yours_Truly
  #16  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 09:49 AM
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junkDNA junkDNA is offline
Comfy Sedation
 
Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: the woods
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You know I am attached to you and I've told you that I love you but do you REALLY know? ???
Sometimes when ur talking about your obsessions of the moment I tune you out.
I hate when u get in teacher lecture mode at the board with the pens.
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  #17  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 10:17 AM
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AllHeart AllHeart is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,024
My t does possess a ton of good, wonderful qualities and I always tell her how much I appreciate them. So the not-so-good things I'd love to scream at her are:
-Your insight sucks.
-Learn how to follow through already.
-Sometimes I resent the hell out of you for what you have allowed to happen, and for the way you allowed it to happen.
-Sometimes I falsely blame you for things going on within me and sometimes I correctly blame you for things going on within me. Either way, I get angry as hell at you and shout out the worst of curse names. I feel bad about that. I am sorry.
-I am losing faith in your therapy process. I really want you to be the one to get me through all of this but I'm no longer convinced you have the skills to take me much further.
-You don't need to distort the truth in order to make yourself look and feel better about certain things. Remember, I know. I'm not an idiot.
-I'm not an idiot.

Well, shoot, that felt good! Thank you for this therapeutic thread, 1step!!
Hugs from:
1stepatatime, ruh roh
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, growlycat
  #18  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 10:18 AM
Anonymous55498
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Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
Not to hijack but sparky sat that way too. Very distracting.
I wish mine sat that way! But most of the time he just sits with legs crossed... I sometimes wonder is he trying to do his best to look very proper, is he mirroring me (I usually sit legs crossed across from him), or does he have a bit of female in him?

But more than that, T would you wear short sleeves more often so that I can stare at your awesome upper arm tattoo? I mean, there is still a bit left from the summer?

Hmm I would probably have deeper thoughts to express to him secretly but the sitting topic pushed that part of my imagination. Best timing as I will see him tomorrow I personally don't find it distracting in session that he is eye candy for me, more the opposite. Between sessions fantasies are a whole different topic...
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, growlycat, xRavenx
  #19  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 03:15 PM
SoConfused623 SoConfused623 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 596
If I were to be 100% candid with my therapist these are some thoughts I would share with her:

I feel completely disconnected from you. Can we recover from this or is it time to move on?

I need you to stop smiling and agreeing to make small changes that you have no intention on making just to appease me.

Please follow up on the big things in my life and ask how they are going.

Please say something nice from time to time.

Please just be human when I ask a question and not give me a one word curt answer

You say that you are not a blank slate but that's BS. The only reason you are not a blank slate is because of my Googling skills!!!!!!! You have NEVER volunteered any information to me.

Please share a personal anecdote with me from time to time because I'm sure that it would help with our connection.

You sure put on a good front and I think that everyone thinks that you are sweet and nice, but I think that you have been passive aggressive because you're mad that I looked you up. You deny this, but it's true.

Stop being so complacent and realize that each client has different needs and your cookie cutter approach does not work for me.

Please do not repeat my swear words or slang back to me. I know that you're trying to make me feel comfortable but it comes across as mocking me.

I am now horrified about some of the things that I've shared because I feel like you don't deserve to know.

On a positive note:

Thank you so much for helping me through the crisis when we first met 2 years ago.

Thank you also for never being judgemental and always trying to normalize my issues.

Thank you for not reacting or for reacting appropriately when I made that huge disclosure.

I know that you're a good T, but we have lost our connection and I really hope that we can get it back because I do not want to start over with someone new!
Hugs from:
ABeautifulLie, awkwardlyyours, growlycat
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime
  #20  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 03:57 PM
Anonymous48850
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Other than what I've told her already, having been very open

Have you ever had a relationship with another woman?
Do you love your husband?
Will you ever hug me?
Do you miss your parents?
How important is Italy to you?
Will you really be there for me when I die?
Hugs from:
ABeautifulLie, awkwardlyyours, growlycat, kecanoe, ruh roh
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime
  #21  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 06:48 PM
Anonymous58205
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
That your cankles really distract me lately. I don't know why but I find them a turn on!
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime
  #22  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 11:38 PM
Anonymous45127
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
T,

Am I a difficult client?
Are you frustrated with me like ex T who is your colleague?
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime
  #23  
Old Sep 05, 2016, 11:51 PM
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annielovesbacon annielovesbacon is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 1,527
For old T:
I miss you in between sessions.
Do you think about me ever?
I like you a lot but I don't trust you.
I have a hard time telling you things, but I don't know why.
I get very anxious when I'm in your office.
I miss you.
__________________
stay afraid, but do it anyway.
Hugs from:
growlycat
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime
  #24  
Old Sep 06, 2016, 10:47 AM
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Ellahmae Ellahmae is offline
Aranel
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
I actually have a list I keep called "Things I would tell (insert T name) if I could". I give it to her monthly. It's actually really helpful, and vulnerable but it has helped me progress in T.
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**

Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, kecanoe, Luce
  #25  
Old Sep 06, 2016, 07:13 PM
kecanoe kecanoe is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,052
You talked today about reading a book to a 3year old part in another person while in training. My 2 year old wants you to read to me.
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, Luce
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