My younger self...

LittlePage · Sep 08, 2016, 02:46 AM

Ok so a few things came up today from when I was younger and my therapist recommend that I practice talking to and consoling my younger self. I'm still all new to this but it's kinda weird and I'm not even sure how. If I just think about it my stomach tightens up and feels like it's doing flips.

Waterbear · Sep 08, 2016, 04:22 AM

Hello. I just wanted to share that it took about 9 months for me to just feel vaguely comfortable acknowledging that there is a child part of me inside, let alone accepting that she is hurt or trying to talk to her. It is a slow going process that I don't think can be rushed. My inner child is not trusting of me at all and I need to be pretty cautious in that area. My T is great too and that helps hugely.

When my first T mentioned the little girl I ran a mile and dissociated massively, I don't know how long I was gone for but I went to a really dark place and even when I was kind of back in the room it took me an age to properly come round. To be honest I probably shouldn't have driven home and T did say I could stick around in the building for as long as I wanted but I wasn't brave enough for that.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that progress is possible because I have gone from that response to now being able to try to listen to her and give her what she needs. Certainly not a finished article but we have come on leaps and bounds in this area. Tiny steps, one bird at a time. I hope you can be patient with yourself as you try to do this and that you can reach her and start to make peace if that is what is needed.

LittlePage · Sep 08, 2016, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Hello. I just wanted to share that it took about 9 months for me to just feel vaguely comfortable acknowledging that there is a child part of me inside, let alone accepting that she is hurt or trying to talk to her. It is a slow going process that I don't think can be rushed. My inner child is not trusting of me at all and I need to be pretty cautious in that area. My T is great too and that helps hugely.

When my first T mentioned the little girl I ran a mile and dissociated massively, I don't know how long I was gone for but I went to a really dark place and even when I was kind of back in the room it took me an age to properly come round. To be honest I probably shouldn't have driven home and T did say I could stick around in the building for as long as I wanted but I wasn't brave enough for that.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that progress is possible because I have gone from that response to now being able to try to listen to her and give her what she needs. Certainly not a finished article but we have come on leaps and bounds in this area. Tiny steps, one bird at a time. I hope you can be patient with yourself as you try to do this and that you can reach her and start to make peace if that is what is needed.

I have to admit I think my therapist is a little weird

runlola72 · Sep 08, 2016, 03:11 PM

I struggle with this concept as well. T mentioned something a while back about how I would have to "re-mother" myself, but has given no instructions and I don't even know where to begin. My little girl self seems like a different person, a movie, almost. I don't remember much about my childhood at all. :/

Sep 08, 2016, 07:16 PM

I've done some of this younger self work with my t. i tried to discount it at first when t brought it up except for to say how much i hated my younger self, I sat there in t's office and called that younger self all the names i remembered her being called by other people back then. "Lazy, stupid, crybaby, booger-eater..." etc. She kept easing me into it gently and slowly over time we made a lot of progress in that area....I no longer hate 'little me', I have love and compassion for her now and remember to take the time to do things she would enjoy like go swimming, or dance around the house when nobody else is home, or draw/color flowers.... and learning to feel compassion for my younger self, has led to feeling love and compassion for adult-me. What a journey it has been, and I'm still learning. I also hope you can be patient and gentle with yourself as you try to do this work. It has been worth it for me.

Sep 08, 2016, 07:44 PM

I've found this interesting - http://tinybuddha.com/blog/stop-abus...-love-instead/

I have self hatred and frequently reject my inner child. However, I'd really try my best not to treat a real child like that.

LittlePage · Sep 08, 2016, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by runlola72

I struggle with this concept as well. T mentioned something a while back about how I would have to "re-mother" myself, but has given no instructions and I don't even know where to begin. My little girl self seems like a different person, a movie, almost. I don't remember much about my childhood at all. :/

I don't remember much about my child hood either but how many people do? It was so long ago. Heck half the time I don't even remember what I did 10 minutes ago.

LittlePage · Sep 08, 2016, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artemis-within

I've done some of this younger self work with my t. i tried to discount it at first when t brought it up except for to say how much i hated my younger self, I sat there in t's office and called that younger self all the names i remembered her being called by other people back then. "Lazy, stupid, crybaby, booger-eater..." etc. She kept easing me into it gently and slowly over time we made a lot of progress in that area....I no longer hate 'little me', I have love and compassion for her now and remember to take the time to do things she would enjoy like go swimming, or dance around the house when nobody else is home, or draw/color flowers.... and learning to feel compassion for my younger self, has led to feeling love and compassion for adult-me. What a journey it has been, and I'm still learning. I also hope you can be patient and gentle with yourself as you try to do this work. It has been worth it for me.

Maybe we will talk more about it the next time I see her. I was just a little surprised when she brought it up. Im still not sure how I feel about it.