[itjustis]

I have my first session this week with T and I'm incredibly nervous! We exchanged emails regarding boundaries...outside contact mostly. I can tell she's going to be stricter with me this time and I can already feel myself getting p****d off even though I put forward most of the boundaries. What is that about?!

One thing that is bugging me now I think of it is something she said. "We can discuss possible further boundaries when we meet." Like what? The only issue we had was outside contact. The one other thing I can think of that she will take away is touch (hugging). If she suggests that it will be a big game changer. I'd even consider not seeing her again if she took that away. So much is changing this time and I don't think it would be fair for her to take away hugs too.
I don't know why these feelings are surfacing and I'm just rambling now and probably sound like a child but it's playing on my mind. I just needed somewhere to leave this 'stuff' and some support or insight would be much appreciated.

[Out There]

Here's a hug Itjustis. Lots of feelings and feelings surfacing.You're not rambling or sounding like a child but maybe the feelings come from a younger place too. It's understandable to be nervous. This is a good place to say what we feel and get supported.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Out There

Here's a hug Itjustis. Lots of feelings and feelings surfacing.You're not rambling or sounding like a child but maybe the feelings come from a younger place too. It's understandable to be nervous. This is a good place to say what we feel and get supported.

Thank you Out There. I set the boundaries myself, but with her stricter take on them my feelings of abandonment are surfacing, especially after no contact at all over the summer break. This is definitely my younger self feeling insecure and afraid. The young child side of me is really kicking off!!Again!! Oh boy, the first session or two will be interesting.

[Myrto]

Why do you think she's decided to implement stricter boundaries? It's never good to change boundaries, therapists should be consistent. I'm sorry for you. My therapist decided recently that I could no longer email at all and it's been hurting me ever since. Hope your session will be ok, update us with the outcome.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Myrto

Why do you think she's decided to implement stricter boundaries? It's never good to change boundaries, therapists should be consistent. I'm sorry for you. My therapist decided recently that I could no longer email at all and it's been hurting me ever since. Hope your session will be ok, update us with the outcome.

Hi Myrto, it's because I became too reliant and dependant on out of session contact. I can recognise it myself and know i need the stricter boundaries but I hate it already!! It's going to be tough for me and is something I will discuss at the first appt.
I put the boundaries to her but now she has put her spin on them I feel like she has taken away all the control I thought I had and the power difference is very clear. This is also something I will tell her about.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with your T, I've been following your story.
How are things with you and your T now?