I saw my t tonight and her world hasn't changed she was smiling and laughing. Oblivious to my pain. At that moment I realised I meant nothing to her and never will. My t abandoned me and doesn't even care.

[Demunie]

Sorry she's still treating you like this... It sounds very painful.

Might I ask why you did get back to her? I had in mind that you didn't wanna see her again.

We had an appointment booked for tomorrow for a long time scheduled a head but for the last two weeks she hasn't made an appointment or tried to fix our rupture! After I sent her that text she sent one back the next day asking if i wanted to arrange an appointment to sort this out. I said I would like to talk about it and nothing from her, no text no call, nothing

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I saw my t tonight and her world hasn't changed she was smiling and laughing. Oblivious to my pain. At that moment I realised I meant nothing to her and never will. My t abandoned me and doesn't even care.

Your T sounds ill, Mona.

[Out There]

I think your T is ill too , and should not be practising. I do understand this as I'm having a problem with my best friend of 25 years. I think there's something wrong with her but it's affecting me adversely ( she's turning into my Mother ). And it's hard to pull away - my T says I'm not an abandoner even though I've been repeatedly abandoned myself. We do play out the same thing , trying to fix and wishing this person would be normal so they can be what we need. I do hope you will see your tutor or another T so they can help you with this. It's an awful feeling.

I'm not sure I understand. Are you saying that your mental healthcare providers should be sad, angry, depressed or mirroring your own feelings? Is it possible that she makes an effort to be jovial in order that her own mood will not be brought down? I'm thinking on it and both my T and Pdoc are very upbeat when I have sessions. That doesn't mean they are ignorring my own mood(s) though.

[Pennster]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I'm not sure I understand. Are you saying that your mental healthcare providers should be sad, angry, depressed or mirroring your own feelings? Is it possible that she makes an effort to be jovial in order that her own mood will not be brought down? I'm thinking on it and both my T and Pdoc are very upbeat when I have sessions. That doesn't mean they are ignorring my own mood(s) though.

Not to speak for the OP, but she did say that her therapist was "oblivious" to her pain. It doesn't sound like she was attuned to Mona at all.

Originally Posted by precaryous

Your T sounds ill, Mona.

I was actually thinking that myself this evening. I seen her driving by in her car, she was laughing and talking but there was nobody in the car with her, unless she has blue tooth!

Originally Posted by Out There

I think your T is ill too , and should not be practising. I do understand this as I'm having a problem with my best friend of 25 years. I think there's something wrong with her but it's affecting me adversely ( she's turning into my Mother ). And it's hard to pull away - my T says I'm not an abandoner even though I've been repeatedly abandoned myself. We do play out the same thing , trying to fix and wishing this person would be normal so they can be what we need. I do hope you will see your tutor or another T so they can help you with this. It's an awful feeling.

I am sorry you are going through this with your friend out there, it sounds like even though you know what is happening it's still incredibly painful. I recognise this cycle in me too. Attaching to people who abuse and abandon and losing yourself in the process, abandoning ourselves again and again trying to fix them. I think my t is really sick and I was considering reporting her this week. I really feel she shouldn't be seeing any clients at the moment.

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I'm not sure I understand. Are you saying that your mental healthcare providers should be sad, angry, depressed or mirroring your own feelings? Is it possible that she makes an effort to be jovial in order that her own mood will not be brought down? I'm thinking on it and both my T and Pdoc are very upbeat when I have sessions. That doesn't mean they are ignorring my own mood(s) though.

No that's not what I am saying but thank you for your response. I am talking about something different, attunement.

Originally Posted by Pennster

Not to speak for the OP, but she did say that her therapist was "oblivious" to her pain. It doesn't sound like she was attuned to Mona at all.

Thank you Pennster it is more about being attuned!

[Sarmas]

That's so wrong. I'm sorry that your hurting. It doesn't make any sense. Therapists like that shouldn't be in practice. They're unaware or just don't care of the damage they are doing.

Hugs to you, Mona.

Maybe reframe it. What are you griefing? The loss of what? If a person is like that, then they couldn't have been committed. Who and what are you really griefing? Get it? I don't know. But it feels like there's some other stuff, perhaps belonging to both of you, going on here too.