[itjustis]

I feel like my T has taken away any little bit of control I thought I had in our relationship. I don't feel empowered at all. Her boundaries are so tight compared to last time and I'm feeling awful because of them.
She has changed everything and I don't feel like I had a choice in the matter. It feels like a case of 'my way or the highway'. I feel like she's had enough of my crap and couldn't care less about me. Especially as I couldn't have a session this week as well.
I'm pretty sure she's doing it to get a reaction out of me too, because she knows I lash out when I lose all sense of control.
I apologised for my outburst, told her it was coming from a very young place and it will be interesting to explore it and all I got back was 'good. See you next week.' I have no idea what 'good' means? Good for what? I asked her what she meant as I didn't, still don't understand and had no reply. What a shock.
I have to wait over a week to get to discuss what she meant by good. I can feel my emotions bubbling and she will get the full force of my frustration, confusion and anger.

I don't know what to do because I'm very much attached to her. I wish I could say stick it, I'm done, but I just can't.
I'm feeling very unsettled right now and my mind is racing. It's like I'm walking on egg shells waiting for the next change that I will have no choice in.

I think this might well be the beginning of the end.

[mostlylurking]

This sounds awful, itjustis. I think if you have some early attachment issues then you might benefit from seeing a T who allows out of session contact and returns emails promptly. And who doesn't change the rules of the game, miss sessions, end sessions early, etc. That sounds like a nightmare for anyone that has insecurities around attachments (which might be most of us!). Do you think you could try seeing another T once or twice, to test the idea of getting a different therapist, eventually? I can imagine that's a really sad thought, but I feel like this is causing you a lot of pain when it ought to be helping you feel better.

[1stepatatime]

From what your saying your therapist doesn't sound very compassionate. I get that the therapist has most of the control but that doesn't make it okay to treat you that way. I like the idea of maybe checking out another therapist, who knows, you might find someone that gels with you😊

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by itjustis

I feel like my T has taken away any little bit of control I thought I had in our relationship. I don't feel empowered at all. Her boundaries are so tight compared to last time and I'm feeling awful because of them.
She has changed everything and I don't feel like I had a choice in the matter. It feels like a case of 'my way or the highway'. I feel like she's had enough of my crap and couldn't care less about me. Especially as I couldn't have a session this week as well.

I think what you write above is exactly what you should tell her and try to discuss next session if you haven't already. Making the attempt to clear up the confusion, and just being heard could be the first step in taking your power back. Sorry you are going through this nightmare.

[Pennster]

This sounds so horrible! I am sorry you are going through this.

I am wondering if the "good" could have been in response to you saying it will be interesting to explore it all? It sounds like she is not a very good communicator in any case, and she should have replied right away when you made it clear you did not understand what she meant.

[BudFox]

Sounds like an abusive relationship. The "good" reply is cruelly ambiguous. Can you send another email and ask that she explain herself, briefly, so you are not tweaking for a whole week?

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

I think what you write above is exactly what you should tell her and try to discuss next session if you haven't already. Making the attempt to clear up the confusion, and just being heard could be the first step in taking your power back. Sorry you are going through this nightmare.

I'm going to tell her exactly what I think and feel. Hopefully it can repair some damage that has been done.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Pennster

This sounds so horrible! I am sorry you are going through this.


I am wondering if the "good" could have been in response to you saying it will be interesting to explore it all? It sounds like she is not a very good communicator in any case, and she should have replied right away when you made it clear you did not understand what she meant.

Good could mean one of many things and it's driving me crazy trying to figure it out. She knows me well enough to know that would bug me and make me anxious. Now I do think she is being mean!!

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by BudFox

Sounds like an abusive relationship. The "good" reply is cruelly ambiguous. Can you send another email and ask that she explain herself, briefly, so you are not tweaking for a whole week?

I replied asking what she meant because I didn't understand. Still had no reply and doubt I will get one. I don't think I can wait a whole week with my feelings of confusion and frustration. If I told her this she probably wouldn't reply anyway.